posted on Oct, 27 2016 @ 12:02 PM
I feel emotions with such depth and intensity
they seem so familiar as if lived before,
like deja vu they leave their residue,
images form and bounce back and forth
between heart and mind.
It is mercy that I have forgotten
so much more than remembered,
time has allowed me to change and redefine them,
such a crushing and heavy load to carry otherwise.
If I am defined by those lost memories what am I?
A loop between my heart and mind,
thoughts and feelings rise and fall.
Thoughtful ruminations give way
to painful images and recollections.
Oh there are good, even wonderful memories.
I hang on to them like an album of pictures,
I turn the pages and revisit those good times.
They chronicle by not so much as what they show
but what they don't.
Some drink to forget,
some are filled with regret,
others live in denial,
always hoping for a happy ending.
My emotions sometimes rip through my chest
and a sadness as black as night covers me,
but I have determined not to cower,
but to meet them with head and heart!
I will not give up, I will not give up!