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I looked at their overall presentation, behavior, mannerisms and social status and power and looked for those similarities and familiarities. I looked at how they did their hair, what they were wearing and if using makeup, how it worked for them, their tone and inflection, their hands, gestures and expressions. In other words, how they performed their gender or expressed their femininity.
originally posted by: Aliensun
You are blessed with an ability that few have or can obtain. Your physical and unique experiences have made you so. You should not question as much as just wonder in awe of what you notice and think about. There are few correct answers at the true depth of anything.
originally posted by: NerdGoddess
Usually I will notice their demeanor right away, body language. Then I will notice their body, smile, eyes, hair. Then If I'm lucky I get the chance to see their personality in action. I love how we all come in different colors shapes and sizes. I love the different personalities that everyone has.
Sometimes I compare myself to other women, but now that I'm 25, it's usually in a healthy manner, not a coveting. jealous manner.
originally posted by: katfish
I am 55. When I was younger, I looked at body, hair, clothing. Now I just look at their demeanor.
My trans friends taught me to look at peoples' hearts before anything else.
originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
For what its worth, and obviously, im a guy. But i still feel like chiming in cuz reasons.
For me, personally, the first thing I notice (that is meaningful...not just a set of legs or something across the room) is the mind. You don't have to be brilliant. But if you aren't intelligent, you at least need to have a novel way of thinking that I find intriguing.
originally posted by: ReprobateRaccoon
You're thinking too much. Quit spending your time trying to analyzing others. What you're doing isn't much different from how many others choose to "classify" trans persons based on their own preconceptions. If you can't learn to just accept others, how can you fault others for doing the same to you?
originally posted by: Benevolent Heretic
a reply to: Freija
You sound pretty "normal" to me, because I make a lot of the same assessments you do... But, then, I wouldn't say I'm actually very "normal" when compared to the majority of women... When I look at other women, my first assessment is usually of their attractiveness (not necessarily sexually), but just attractiveness as a person. Their confidence plays a huge part in their attractiveness. I really appreciate most women, regardless of age. I like to study them, wonder about how they are in their lives, etc.
I looked at their overall presentation, behavior, mannerisms and social status and power and looked for those similarities and familiarities. I looked at how they did their hair, what they were wearing and if using makeup, how it worked for them, their tone and inflection, their hands, gestures and expressions. In other words, how they performed their gender or expressed their femininity. --
I do exactly the same thing. I usually LOVE to see a strong woman, maybe someone who seems in touch with their masculine side and not so "into" the idea of classic femininity, probably because that's who I am.
... I was born a woman, lived my life as a woman, and will always be a woman, but I have many of the more masculine characteristics personality-wise. I'm independent, tough-skinned, strong, problem-solving, self-confident, logical, harsh and pragmatic. I have feminine characteristics as well, they're just not as strong. I'm emotional, nurturing and loving.
My sexuality is much more fluid. I call myself "mostly straight", because the vast majority my relationships have been with men. The thing is, I feel more attracted to women, so I'm not sure if I've been mostly with men because I'm straight or because I was taught that it's the acceptable way to be. In any case, I'm now in a 25-year relationship with a man and wouldn't change it for anything.
So, I can't say why you look at women the way you do, but it sounds VERY similar to the way I look at them, so, seems "normal" to me. Yes, it's complex. That's just part of being a woman.
originally posted by: kaylaluv
Hey Ms. Freija!
I consider myself 100% straight, but like most women, I check other girls out all the time. The first physical things I tend to look at are the traits I don't like about myself. For example, I have never liked my nose - I think it's too big on the end. I have always wanted a feminine little nose that comes to more of a point. So, one of the first things I look at on another woman is her nose. Is it bigger than mine? Is it the kind of nose I have always wanted?
I definitely look at other women's fashion choices. Again, I concentrate on women around my same age. I get ideas on how to wear things sometimes by looking at what they are wearing. Of course, I see women all the time that I can be a bit catty about (all inside my head of course), regarding what I would consider poor fashion sense.
I'm a bit shy and introverted in person and I admire women who are more confident, so I guess I pay attention to women who stand out to me as strong and unafraid to speak their mind, because I would like to be more like that.
Bottom line, I think it's normal for us women to check each other out. I can't speak for any other woman, but the things I focus on are probably the things about myself that I am the least confident about. And this would be for either every day people or celebrity women.
originally posted by: RainbowPhoenix
...I might see a girl wearing an outfit that I fancy and think "Ooh I like her style, banking that look for my next shopping trip" I might notice another and think "oh man she looks like she is having a rough day" or another and think "drug addict".
originally posted by: eletheia
Interesting, the different perceptions of what variations there are between (people's) thinking. The old saying that *we (women) all turn into our mothers* has recently come home to roost with me. I grew up creating myself as the woman I wanted to be and was happy being, however recently when looking in the mirror I see my mother looking back at me. Now although there may have always been some similar characteristics, I never felt or thought that we had more than a passing resembelance.
originally posted by: MoonBlossom
FWIW I have wondered the same as you before, is my way of looking at women different than other women (due to being bisexual), and I have found that to some degree it is - many of my friends look at other women to see how they compare next to them, "am I as attractive as her, thinner than her, dressed better" etc. whereas I do not feel that need to compare as much...I rather more enjoy the diversity in women, which I do attribute - at least in part - to my sexuality.