posted on Jan, 24 2005 @ 10:46 PM
Cherish -- I think you're right about the blogging, I'll look into it. Thanks!
Biker -- You asked how did my experience with doing what that thing told me to do change my life? Well, it ruined the relationship between myself and
my parents, as (I guess) mom told dad. After that, he didn't try and conceal that he didn't like me that much. And yet, from my standpoint, as I see
things many years later at the present time, HE was the guy that brought all of that evil into the house, albeit not knowingly.
My sister told me a couple of years ago that the old man had mentioned to someone that (gezzzzzzzz!) he'd had sex with both of his parents while
growing up. On top of that, during the general time period when this thing that came out of the wall paid me a visit, he was having relations with a
woman that he (I think) met at a bar, as my actual mother was spending most of her time in a mental institution due to bad nerves or something. The
This woman that the old man brought into our lives had a VERY powerful spiritual/mystical/sexaul effect on me, though not intentionally.
The following events happened before that thing came out of the wall (though because I wasn't keeping a journal, I can't say with 100% certainty). I
deduce that their order is as follows because it just makes sense. ...
As I mentioned in a previous post, before I came into this world, I was near a river with two or three other males, with one of them being Jesus (I
think). I don't know what was said, but based on my current view and understanding of things, I do suspect that I made it clear that I wanted no part
of the mission I was asked/told to undertake. And thus I kinda suspect that Jesus said something like, "I will give you a very easy test, if you pass
it I'll have you out of that world and back into this world in no time. But if you fail, then you're going to have no choice except to undergo a lot
of not-so-fun strange experiences. These strange experiences will become like pieces to a giant jig-saw puzzle to you and will haunt the piece-of-mind
right out of you, as the picture of things they'll bring into fucus will be very disturbing and will concern a great many people."
And so, knowing He's a straight-shooter, and really would make the "test" an easy one, I reluctantly agreed and floated away ... and soon found
myself in this world as a young child with parents and siblings that were in need of some help from God.
But, as I told you about the thing and the words ... I blew it big time! Things would have all been so much different if I had just told my mother the
truth (instead of what that thing told me): "Mother, I love you and hope you get better soon!"
Not to make excuses, but, somewhere in the Bible it does say that "All have fallen short of the glory of God." Well, I can't speak for all, but I
know that I sure fell on my face when it was my turn at the plate!
And so getting to those previous events that led up to me and my horrible blunder ... .
One morning I was sitting alone in the house on the sofa, and I thought, "I'm ready."
If someone had asked me what I meant by that, I would have been at a loss to say specifically, though maybe I would have been able to tell them that
The Man from the river was going to allow a test, I don't know.
Two things occured not long before I made this little proclamation to myself, and which drew clear lines to how things were devided, and who exactly
the two foes were that my innocent soul stood between ... ready to tilt towards one or the other.
1.) It almost seemed surreal. I would become aware of suddenly finding myself in the pickup truck as my father was about to pull into the driveway, as
he'd say, "Your mother's home." I'd get all happy and run from the truck and straight into the loving arms of my mother, whom was waiting for me
at the end of the walkway, near the rear door of the house. And like that Paul Simon song goes, "She got down on her knees and hugged me, she loved
like a rock." (Or something like that.) That's how it seemed to me.
This event with me and my mom happened two or three times, and always the same way.
2.) This experience is the one that really did me in, and was the "worthy opponent" I alluded to earlier. ... One morning, I was standing a couple
of feet from the doorway to the living room of which my father's girlfriend was in. As far as I know, she and I were the only two in the house, with
my father at work and my older siblings (I think) at school. Well, taking me TOTALLY by surprize, as I stood there, an invisible sexual spirit (it's
the only way I can describe it) came to me out of nowhere and gently caressed my stomach and then my genitals!
I couldn't believe what I was experiencing; the thing felt ABSOLUTELY gorgeous and beautiful!! And yet, to the degree that it was so extraordinarily
beautiful, I knew with 100% certainty that it was also incredibly evil!!
As it caressed me, I said in my heart and mind, "I'm going to sin." When I had that thought, it backed off and another presence spoke very quietly
from the general ceiling-area and told me this, "If you do what you are thinking about doing, it would be the same as destroying yourself." This was
told to my mind without any lights and bells going off, just a barely perceptible presence speaking, which I took to be God.
Also, not to convolute this too much, I suspect that it was the same day, or the day after I was sitting on that sofa and said what I'd said to
myself, that I saw the Man from the River. ... I was riding in the backseat of a car that my father was driving down a road when I awoke from sleep
and saw Him outside and above a field and in the clouds. I looked at Him, turned and said to the others, my brother and father and his girlfriend,
"There's the man from the river!" I pointed at Him and looked back at the others, as they exchanged "looks" with each other.
I then looked back at Jesus and He then just disappeared.
As I said, I wasn't keeping a journal, but it just makes a lot of sense that He would make an appearance like that right after I'd said I was ready
(for the test).
After this big failure on my part -- saying that horrible lie to my mother -- I then went on condemned to live a life that was heaped full of bizarre
experiences; and with my "antennas" way up, I was also attuned to be sensitive to things that weren't/aren't quite so in-your-face, and always
with the intent of making sense out of this strange and creepy world I was placed in.
During this early period, when the above mentioned things were going on, likely after they'd happened, I once was out walking around the neighborhood
with my brother Gale. We came upon a wreck of a house. It was very tiny and had all the windows and doors smashed in and garbage scattered all over
the place. My brother told me that a woman named Ruby had lived there. And so I remember looking around and thinking, "Is this her place? Is she the
I quickly concluded that Ruby wasn't The One. Many years later, however, when I was finally on my own in the world, I did learn of who "the one"
was. She is in fact the very living and breathing thing that caressed me those many years ago; a truly extraordinary woman! I have a lot of fear of
her, of it.
Note: I wanted to answer the other fellow's question but am out of time, sorry. Thanks everyone for your time! Have a great day wherever you