Missing Children Aren't All On Milk Cartons

a reply to: Annee

Good scene from the film, Thief, with James Caan. The whole movie is pretty intense. Not for the squeamish.

Trying to adopt a child...

a reply to: intrptr
He is right though. Criteria is not an effective tool for weeding out bad parents.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

He also knows what the inside of institutions do to a person over time. Imagine what the children go through.

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: Annee

Good scene from the film, Thief, with James Caan. The whole movie is pretty intense. Not for the squeamish.

Trying to adopt a child...

I've looked into adoption before. It should be easier, less expensive, and not take years. Especially for older and hard to adopt kids.

Children who are of cognitive age tend to shut down and not trust anyone. Sometimes they do things like hide food for fear of not being fed again.

Adoptive parents, especially of foreign war children, should not be naive of what they're getting into. They're not adopting a cuddly puppy who's going to love them unconditionally.

Are you aware of re-homing?

ideas.time.com...

a reply to: Annee

Children who are of cognitive age tend to shut down and not trust anyone. Sometimes they do things like hide food for fear of not being fed again.

I think if, for whatever reason, kids are removed from their homes their whole fragile notion of love and stability is destroyed.

Some may get that back, but most will never trust anyone again. Further, I think thats the intent on the part of the state who lets CPA, who have there own courts and security service, operate.

Destroying unity, love and the family unit makes people easier to control later in life, helps keep them divided against one another, instead of uniting against the state.

a reply to: intrptr

I think if, for whatever reason, kids are removed from their homes their whole fragile notion of love and stability is destroyed.

Nothing is ever 100%. Love and stability can only be destroyed if, love and stability existed in the first place.

Some children live is such nightmarish hellish conditions that almost anything else would be a leap up.

I was introduced to a case a couple of weeks ago were the children were living in condition that made "The Hills Have Eyes" look like Disney Land. I can't even talk about it. It was so unbelievably horrible that a glimpsing thought about it, gives me nightmares.

Sometimes the children "have" to be taken if they have any hope for anything that remotely classifies as a normal life.

I'm both glad and sad to see this thread here. Glad because this is a social issue we actually need to tackle. Sad because this is a social issue that we need to tackle. It's overwhelming really. Where do we begin? It's such a giant problem.

a reply to: intrptr

That would, I think, depend very greatly upon where the child is placed.

I've seen foster homes that are so full of love and healing as to make me want to be placed there...and I never doubted my parents loved me more than life itself, strict though they were.

...and I've seen some where I wanted to take the kids myself. On one occasion, I and a couple of co-workers, were forced to call the cops, who later that same day, called CPA to take the children. I got to go to court on that one, and wasn't that just a whole lot of fun. Got a death threat from the "Daddy" on that one...

Abused children bring out the "seagull smash" in me, like few other things.

So much so that when I'm settled for keeps in the next couple of years, I will be a foster parent. Adopting a couple is within the realm of possibility, too. I can't change the world, but maybe I can change a couple of lives, and who knows what they might do?

a reply to: Puppylove

One child at a time. No other way will work, much as we might like it otherwise.

One child taken in, is one less child on the street to be exploited in any way. One less child hurt.

a reply to: seagull

This right here makes you a real hero. Three for Seagull a better person than I will ever be.

a reply to: seagull

I'm so far from stable I don't think I'll ever be in a position to help in that way... Which sucks because I love and am great with children.

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: Annee

Children who are of cognitive age tend to shut down and not trust anyone. Sometimes they do things like hide food for fear of not being fed again.

I think if, for whatever reason, kids are removed from their homes their whole fragile notion of love and stability is destroyed.

Which is one reason I support self contained "orphanages" (if done right). Modern systems designed more like a boarding school and where the kids have their own government, etc.

Children would not be separated from siblings. They would be in a protected environment with other kids they can make friends with. They would go to school in that environment and have a regular routine. They would not be shuffled from one facility (or home) to another. Their parents could visit them on weekends.

There could still be adult volunteers for no other reason then comfort, hugs, shoulder to cry on, etc.

originally posted by: PuppyloveI'm both glad and sad to see this thread here. Glad because this is a social issue we actually need to tackle. Sad because this is a social issue that we need to tackle. It's overwhelming really. Where do we begin? It's such a giant problem.

While it is easy, it is also very difficult.

These things happen because it is profitable. It is about the money. Stop it from being profitable for them. See. Easy and hard at the same time. Almost everything that we enjoy and things that provide convenience in our lives, comes with some heavy human price tags.


This video only touches the tip of the iceberg. We are never going to give up our cell phones, our cheap clothing, our Blood Diamonds and Blood Chocolate, or anything else we enjoy. As much as we don't want to admit it, a lot of this is due to our actions, or lack of action.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

We need to start up an advertising company, possibly non-profit or with profit with the right backers, which sole purpose is to advertise ethical products, while simultaneously advertise products which are produced unethically.

Set up some way to allow for consumers to both make informed choices and give ethical companies an outlet to help promote their products so that ethical companies can save some by getting free advertising and unethical companies are harmed by making sure everyone knows both what they do and who their ethical competitors are.

Just an idea...

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn

We are never going to give up our cell phones, our cheap clothing, our Blood Diamonds and Blood Chocolate, or anything else we enjoy. As much as we don't want to admit it, a lot of this is due to our actions, or lack of action.

Oh, I don't know.

I try to be aware as much as I can.

I have simplified my life to pretty much basic necessities.

I try to buy food at the local Farmer's Market. It's surprising reading labels at the Dollar Tree how some of their food products are from US family owned businesses.

I buy cotton T-shirts from America - - but, of course I don't know where the cotton came from.

a reply to: Annee

I think part of the issue is, people are working constantly, it's not that people don't care, they're just too worn out to put in the effort.

Eating healthy, eating ethically, buying ethically, after a full week of work, most people just don't have the emotional stamina to put in the research required. This stuff is intentionally made a hassle.

Is why something needs to be done to make this simple for everyone. We need someone to create a simple way to get this information to people. Force labeling on products. I'd love to see chocolate try to sell if all chocolate produced by slave labor required a big label saying so right on the front of each bar.

Warning: This product was produce by child slave labor.

Good luck with sales with that on the package

a reply to: Puppylove

Something like BigBrother/BigSister might be right down your alley then. Many kids all they need is to know that someone cares enough to spend time with them.

Go play in the park. Take them to the mall, or the library. It really doesn't take much. ...and most times it's as rewarding for you, as it is for them.

I've had a parent come up to me ten years after the fact to tell me what a difference I made for her daughter, and for her. I was coaching a girls soccer team, and there was this young girl who tried so hard that I couldn't help but take a little extra time after practice with her while she waited for her "father". You try to be even handed, but there is always that one kid, that you just can't help but like just that little bit more.

For the first part of the season, her parents couldn't come to the games, for whatever reason... Didn't seem to matter, though my alarm bells were going off, she was having fun, playing hard, and getting better with every game. Then her "father" began coming to the games... You've heard the term "little league parent"? The game is all about how it reflects upon them...not about the kids having fun. Well he was the quintessential LL-parent. Verbally abusive, tearing her down in front of her peers--so, one day, I conspired with a good friend who just happened to be the ref that day...

He yellow carded me, red carded "daddy", and the girls mother finally, finally, drew a line and told him off. He didn't come to another game that season...and the happy little girl was back! She never became a great soccer player, but she realized, I guess, that if she can do this, what else might she be able to do?

Moving forward quite a few years...

I'm nothing like the twenty something I was then, lots of miles. Anyway, this older lady comes up to me and asks if I remember a certain young lady? A little surprised, as this came out of the blue, I said yes, I certainly do (no lie, I actually did ). She smiled and asked if I'd like to know that she had just graduated from college, and that she'd always claimed that I'd made the difference... Mother hugged me, and went about her day.

I nearly cried. I just gave her the opportunity, she made it all work. I did nothing out of the ordinary, at least that's how it seems to me, so it doesn't take a lot to made a huge difference. One life, maybe...but ask that Mom what she thinks?

I floated around for the rest of the day...

Mentor. or just a friend when they need one. It does make a difference, even if you don't ever know it. I was lucky, I got to learn of it.

S&F for a topic which doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves.

Here in the Bay Area, trafficking is extremely common, SF is an international hub, helped in part by it being a sanctuary city. There are dozens upon dozens of brothels and massage parlors in SF which act as a cover for sex trafficking. Even out in the suburbs there's numerous massage parlors where workers are held captive. They eat, sleep, massage, 7 days a week, 12 hours a day and are confined to the premises.

Never something I paid much attention to until talking with my wife about it who grew up in Eastern Europe. In her native country growing up not too long ago, there were warnings and fliers all over the streets warning of the threat of getting kidnapped and sold into slavery. It was enough of a threat that everyone was aware of it. And those girls would be tricked and sold to Western countries. They'd even trick gymnasts into working for the Circus in America, then when they get here they'd steal their passports and well....you know the rest.

Also seen a few documentaries on this from China, on top of the ones on what goes on in America. Few want to talk about. Some of it reaches high places in government where politicians and law enforcement are in on it together. Canada has a number of cases like that too.

a reply to: seagull

I've considered that. I need to get a job, hopefully in home care. Still fighting an illness though. Once I do that, if successful I think I'll look into just that. I've decided I want to start talking less and doing more. Is why I'm looking into home care. Helping real people with real needs.

I'm not sure how much time I have left, but I want to spend it being a person I can respect instead of detest. Who knows maybe if I can become someone I love, better health and happiness will come with it and I can do even more.

originally posted by: Puppylove
a reply to: Annee

I think part of the issue is, people are working constantly, it's not that people don't care, they're just too worn out to put in the effort.

That is an excuse ya know.