posted on Sep, 16 2016 @ 02:54 AM
Gosh it feels better just seeing how many people have shared similar experiences (both mine and his).
It is comforting.... thanks for that!!
Last night, out of nowhere, he asked what time I usually go running, and said he'd like to go with me today!
He has never done that - even when I tried hard to convince him! So I guess he is still worrying silently about how he's going to handle it.
But we woke up to pouring rain, so...we'll see if he'll join me in the exercise room for resistance training and yoga....
As far as what I went through in menopause, he wasn't very understanding. Women in France don't talk easily about this, especially in front of men, so
he knew nothing about it. Even me, my mom died before hitting it, and I never knew grandmothers, so in fact I was going through perimenopause rather
early, at 42, but didn't know what was wrong with me! I was taking pregnancy tests each two months fearfully, and going to my doc for memory loss,
foggy brain, fatigue, feeling emotional.... he was an idiot who didn't guess at this.
I actually came up with the idea at 46, and asked my doctor for blood tests, which finally confirmed what was going on.
But hot flashes have been my only problem since the change has finished. Only emotionally did it become difficut for a while. Feeling like I was no
longer a woman, not feminine, not capable of being desirable anymore.... that hit me deeper than I expected.
I got over it. Life is too exciting and interesting to get hung up on that.
I'm starting to suspect my husband might be feeling a similar sort of feeling. He's going through a lot of changes physically, and that is when it
really comes home that you are getting old, and that it isn't matter of looking less attractive anymore, it is about PAIN, discomfort, the inability
to do things you could do before!
Maybe I can help him get through, maybe not. When I started to feel that getting my foot in the stirrup was getting way too difficult I got sad -
until I realized there was a perfectly good wall I could use to help me mount my horse, and actually could usually find something anywhere - I just
needed to gain the habit and get used to it. My ability to continue riding didn't change as much as I feared.
So maybe there are things like that he just needs to learn to do differently, to know he can still do them.