Normal is just a setting on the dryer

I think we all have some form of mental illness. Be it OCD, paranoia, bi-polar disorder, generally being an asshole at times. The key between the “normal” people and the one’s who need help seems to be the ability to mask those issues, or at least identify them as they happen and change something in your routine to minimize the public visualization of said illness.

I have a daughter who has bi-polar disorder and it’s been getting much more distinct, where we can see the “high’s” happening, and predict the crash and ultimate low’s that come next. She has always had trouble getting along with the “regular” people. She actively seeks out others with obvious issues. ( I think to make her feel a bit more normal) But that usually puts her in a bad group of company and doesn’t elevate her in her job, or relationships. My oldest daughter (step daughter) has some of the same symptoms, but we have always just associated that with being bitchy. But she seems to be able to mask the bad episodes rather well.

I have a hard time getting the youngest to realize that other people’s opinions don’t mean #. She has her life to live and her decisions to make. So while I keep trying to find her a mental health solution that does more than just prescribe drugs, I wonder if there is any advice that others with the same level of illness might know to get through to a person in that state. She always agrees with me when I offer advice like my thoughts above, but rarely remembers what I said. So I feel like my help is pointless largely.

And all this comes from a guy who goes from happy, to depressed and generally being a dick at times. (but I realize when that happens and usually tell my wife to just ignore me for a bit while I get back to “normal”.) I can go back and look at my post history and see those times when I was cranky or had a bit too much sand in my crotch.

a reply to: network dude


Ummm...so if your a Dick...can I call you Richard...?

It seems more polite...

I think you touched on something important...however I think it has less to do with masking...than it has to do with actively attempting to improve outlook and character...I also think that simple humor and sarcasm in an online setting unfortunately translates into dickishness...totally in the mind of the beholder that is...

I'm fairly irreverent mostly...I just don't take any of this seriously enough to ascribe too much emotive energy to any personality or bot I'm chatting with...

hence the

YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

Richard Cranium would be the full sur name.

You hit the nail on the head OP. "change something in your routine to minimize the public visualization of said illness".

It is not what you think that determines mental illness, it is what you do or say that defines it. It is important to understand that to be considered sane, you have to ACT like you are in compliance with consensus of the time of society.

I didn't do Facebook and I knew that made me look abnormal so I signed up for Facebook. I made a couple of likes and civil comments in the last week and now I am normal to others who utilize facebook.

I see that our society is going in the wrong direction and I am not going to follow the lead of these people. I prefer to stay neutral on most subjects and not to get all hyped up and try to straighten up the delusional people anymore. Because if you try to straighten them out, then they think you are nuts. I will leave them live in their delusion and let them find out the hard way like my ancestors did. It is when you challenge the misguided concensus that you get labeled. Let them blow all their money seeing a shrink when everything goes wrong or take meds to try to make them less stressed or depressed. The fact that twenty five percent of Americans are on some sort of mind altering meds is depressing, but now being on those meds is becoming the new normal. I do not know any people who eat mostly organic foods that are on mood stabalizers, that kind of sounds sort of crazy to me.

a reply to: rickymouse

Just thinking about the small circle of friends and family I commune with, I can see small issues in just about everyone. And I have no bias in not seeing my own. But I agree completely with your assessment. We all have to "assimilate" to appear like the rest, or be questioned at the least.

I look at my immediate family to try to put a nature vs. nurture aspect to it, and when looked at closely, it's much bigger than you realize at a quick glance. I can't say it came from "X" when "Y" on the other blood side also has some serious ticks. It's then that you realize, hell, it might be me.

a reply to: network dude

I wish you and your daughter all the luck in the world.

Please don't stop trying or think your help is pointless. There may come that one day when it all pieces together and the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel comes into focus for her.

It can be quite frustrating and exhausting for everyone involved and the mental health community is not always willing, in my experiences, to think outside of the box of these symptoms must = this diagnosis. Getting a correct diagnosis can sometimes be the hardest part to finding the best treatment.

If your child is legally an adult you have my respect for even being able to get her to engage and discuss these things.

Above is all I have to offer at the moment, which is nothing, but your post touched me and I couldn't just let it go by without responding.

Thank you for sharing your story and I hope you and your daughter are able to find what you need.

originally posted by: network dude
Normal is just a setting on the dryer

i agree none of us are normal we are all just varying degrees of crazy,

a reply to: TNMockingbird

thanks for such a nice post. She is 24, and frustrating is a perfect word to describe it. The mental health system is awful. There is very few alternatives and most just throw new and exciting drugs at her. I hope to find a doctor that will talk to her and spend the time to understand things a bit. I kind of thought that was their job. But anyway, thanks again.

a reply to: NobodiesNormal

I like your screen name.

a reply to: network dude

I have several aspects of my personality which I have self-diagnosed as disorders (I have a good grasp on psychology).

However those "faults" are what made me the man I am today - otherwise I would have done nothing with my life, nothing to constantly compensate my flaws.