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Hug your children. Call your Mom. Make up with you siblings. Forgive your Dad.

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posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:13 PM
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Hug your children. Call your Mom. Make up with you siblings. Forgive your Dad. Don't go to bed mad at your spouse. There is only so much time to do the things that you need to do. I have been sitting here contemplating all the relationships I have and have had over the years and I am saddened by my inability to maintain them properly.

I do have a great relationship with my spouse, but immediate family and I have had major disconnects.

My siblings and I had a major falling out when my Mom passed away. I lived in the same city and knew of her illness. She instructed me to not say anything to them and I did as she asked. I respected her wishes and they never forgave me. She just didn't want anyone to make a fuss and try to force her to get treatment when she did not want it.

My Mom was a wonderful and caring person, but she was, also, proud and wanted her last days to be handled with dignity and not going through the motions of everyone feeling sorry for her. I understood completely. I missed the last two holidays with her, Thanksgiving and New Years because I wanted my memories of the previous ones to be the way I remembered her, I regret this to some degree, but I, also, did not want to see my siblings. I do not think I could have hid my emotions very well.

Although Mom had been sick at the time, she was not showing the effects of her condition clearly yet. Her relationship with my Dad had become contemptuous and she really was tired of it all. I have been angry at my Dad for this reason among others. I just think if they had been getting along better she would have not given in so easily.

I am sure that many of you that read this can understand what it is I am trying to say. In case you can't, life is not always wrapped up in a neat little bow, it can be and most often is a series of messy adventures that can come to a conclusion at any time, so, don't take it for granted.




posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:18 PM
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a reply to: searcherfortruth

Don't trip, you're not alone. I'm going through the same sorts of things with my immediate family right now.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:22 PM
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a reply to: searcherfortruth

Sorry, but WHY?

Accepting that some people do more harm than good is a realization I don't regret. Cutting out the people who take advantage of me and leave me emotionally drained is the best decision I've ever made.

No need to hug my brother and forgive my dad. My family is not part of my life and I've only been happier for it.

Better to choose your own family who lifts you up instead of one that stomps you down.

Better to have no family at all than one who treats you like an untouchable black sheep.


OP, it's a good message, but it's not going to work for everybody.



edit on 13-9-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:28 PM
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a reply to: searcherfortruth

My Father left when I was 7. It took 30 years to make contact again.
It wasn't easy but the effort was being made.
I had a LOT of unresolved feelings since He left my Mum to bring me up alone, which She did remarkably well.
During this reconciliation, I received a phonecall from my Uncle telling me He had passed away suddenly.
The Funeral was difficult for many reasons, not least the fact that in the speeches that were made, we sounded so similar. Do understand that the majority of the congregation had not seen me for 30 to 40 years.
I'm not bitter. I have a wonderful Fiancee and Stepdaughter but He will never meet them.
Time is precious, make the effort.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:42 PM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha


No need to hug my brother and forgive my dad. My family is not part of my life and I've only been happier for it.

How would you feel though if your dad suffered a stroke and asked you to be his designated caregiver. Would you put him in a home and be done with it or come to his side? After all he raised you from a baby... right? Changed your diapers, rose in the middle of the night, stayed up, fed you bottles, rocked you to sleep? Paid for your clothing, food, etc?

Maybe he didn't, I don't know. Just wondering.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:46 PM
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No offence, but Obla Di, Obla da life goes on Bra ah, la la how the life go on.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:46 PM
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originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

How would you feel though if your dad suffered a stroke and asked you to be his designated caregiver.

He wouldn't. And it's not my problem; got enough of my own.

After all he raised you from a baby... right?

Not even close.



edit on 13-9-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 03:54 PM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Yah well okay, screw 'em then.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 04:02 PM
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a reply to: intrptr


originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: searcherfortruth
I'm going through the same sorts of things with my immediate family right now.


I sincerely hope you have better results than I.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 04:34 PM
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a reply to: searcherfortruth

It is very difficult to get along with a sibling that is negatively judging people constantly with an elitist mind set, is self centered as all get out, reluctant to ever be generous in any shape or form, and snears at the sight of friends of mine.

Oh and she hates space related stuff and thinks NASA should be disbanded along with all other space exploration. We are polar opposites.

Did i mention she tried to secretly watch me with hidden surveillance cameras? Yep, not even kidding.
edit on 13-9-2016 by OneGoal because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 04:37 PM
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a reply to: searcherfortruth

There are people within the bloodline that I hold no respect for. This does not mean I go out of my way to disrespect them; it merely means they do not matter and are not family any longer. Some have harmed me and loved ones. Others simply lack respect towards me or are two faced. I hold not anger nor resentment; they are simply not in my mind.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 04:40 PM
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originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: searcherfortruth

Sorry, but WHY?

Accepting that some people do more harm than good is a realization I don't regret. Cutting out the people who take advantage of me and leave me emotionally drained is the best decision I've ever made.

No need to hug my brother and forgive my dad. My family is not part of my life and I've only been happier for it.

Better to choose your own family who lifts you up instead of one that stomps you down.

Better to have no family at all than one who treats you like an untouchable black sheep.


OP, it's a good message, but it's not going to work for everybody.




im with you.
my dad was a monster. im glad he is dead and the world is better off without him.
i have a decent relationship with my mom.
i have 4 brothers that all live fairly close to me. i see them a couple times a year and it would not bother me a bit if i never saw them again.

my wife and daughter are really all that matters. everyone else can disappear for all i care.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 05:36 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

I am genuinely stunned at your dark candor.

Why would anyone declare "everyone else can disappear for all I care"? My mind cannot even grasp the ugliness of spirit residing within a human being that feels this way and puts forth purposed energy and lays it out for the entire world to see.

Words have power and more often times than not, have a tendancy to bite one in the arse.

Your daughter will, I hope, have more affection and consideration for others; fathoms more than her father.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 05:39 PM
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originally posted by: NewzNose


Why would anyone declare "everyone else can disappear for all I care"? My mind cannot even grasp the ugliness of spirit residing within a human being that feels this way and puts forth purposed energy and lays it out for the entire world to see.

Words have power and more often times than not, have a tendancy to bite one in the arse.

Your daughter will, I hope, have more affection and consideration for others; fathoms more than her father.


i say it because it is true. i have little use for most people. point of fact most people have little use for me.
i deal with/tolerate people because i have to. i have to work. i have to buy groceries. i have to go buy clothes for my daughter.
i dont see what is wrong with what i said. i mean its not like i am saying i want everyone in the world to suffer. not at all.
it would just be nice if they were all just gone one day.
i could handle that.


edit*
aside from my wife and daughter i can think of about 7 people that i would like to stick around.
edit on 13-9-2016 by TinySickTears because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 05:39 PM
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originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: searcherfortruth

Sorry, but WHY?

Accepting that some people do more harm than good is a realization I don't regret. Cutting out the people who take advantage of me and leave me emotionally drained is the best decision I've ever made.

No need to hug my brother and forgive my dad. My family is not part of my life and I've only been happier for it.

Better to choose your own family who lifts you up instead of one that stomps you down.

Better to have no family at all than one who treats you like an untouchable black sheep.


OP, it's a good message, but it's not going to work for everybody.




Great alternative viewpoint that ties right into your ELO avatar:

"Don't bring me down..."

Star for that.
edit on 13-9-2016 by Nucleardoom because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 05:54 PM
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searcherfortruth

One of the reasons I came back to the place of my childhood was to do just that. Forgive..and ask forgiveness. Lots of bad memories and lots of good ones were shared. I found out things and saw new perspectives that I didn't have/know at the time I left. And, I understand things better now than I did before.

I think time does heal all wounds in the respect that we all change and can see things differently as we age. I found it was worth it and I am a lot closer to my parents and siblings then I ever thought possible. Would much better leave this world knowing I made things right then knowing I left things a mess.

But maybe you have to wait until you are ready. anyhow..good advice.

Thanks,
blend57



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 05:56 PM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Nobody is trying to force you to do something against your will. If you are satisfied with the way things are that is great.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 05:57 PM
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a reply to: NewzNose

Some people are just determined to be the way they are.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 06:01 PM
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a reply to: blend57

I am not saying revisiting old childhood memories that bring up old wounds is the way to go, but there are those that have suppressed those memories to their own detriment. I just think that if family is important to someone they should make an effort to fix things rather than let them fester and become less fixable. Some things are not going to get fixed no matter what, but I make the effort and if it is not reciprocated so be it, at least I tried.



posted on Sep, 13 2016 @ 06:02 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

Whew! Thank you!!

I hesitated to submit my previous response thinking of the backlash it would likely bring out from you.

Instead of dropping a ton of F-bombs on me, you were engaging, clarifying, and genuine. I get a better understanding of your position and will just offer you this:

There are people who care just because they can.





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