posted on Sep, 10 2016 @ 10:46 PM
As long as another’s praise doesn’t sound patently insincere, you’re likely to welcome it. Being richly recognized for what you do—or who
you are—just feels good. It’s wonderfully confirming, as reassuring as it is validating. Most of us thrive on compliments and flattery precisely
because they can buoy us up, warm our hearts, and allay old fears and self-doubts.
But praise has its dark side, too. Much more than we typically realize, it can constitute a kind of verbal bribery, offered primarily to serve the
interest of the person offering it. This post will suggest six ways that praise might be disbursed with the hidden intention of winning your favor, or
wrangling something out of you—something you probably wouldn’t be willing to grant otherwise.
“The difference between a compliment and flattery is often motive. A compliment offers genuine appreciation for a quality or action seen in another
person. The goal of flattery is usually self-advancement through gaining the favor of someone else. Compliments seek to encourage; flattery attempts
to manipulate.” —David McCasland
When do compliments become flattery in your opinion?
I usually judge this issue by the tone of voice and body language. I believe I can usually tell when someone is giving me a compliment while lying. As
long as I feel they're being honest about it, I take it with great appreciation.
On the Internet, without the benefit of being able to hear someone's voice or see their body language, things get far more difficult. The most
seemingly innocuous compliment can be manipulation. The greatest praise imaginable can be sincere. Knowing which is which can be nearly impossible
I have a bad habit of going too far with compliments. In fact, I'm guilty of doing what the quote above describes. I need to stop trying to manipulate
people with words. It's a bad habit, and it often backfires. The fact that it backfires often makes it a useless strategy anyway.
10-9-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)