Europe was now under the total control of CRAP. Shorty had been fitting public appearances around his tight schedule.
He was preparing for the take over of the next big super power, the USA. He knew the government had the attention span similar to the appeal of a
burnt sausage, so taking over the government shouldn't be too hard but Shorty planned to re-paint the white house, he heard rumors that it was bright
blue before they had a pigeon problem. (Cats are colour blind i think)
Shorty's armies were sneaking through American customs, passing themselves off as ham sandwiches. They stealthy pulled the cold ham over themselves.
They remembered stealth training 5A and they knew that they must keep their body temperature down to stop the risk of the ham sweating. Every so often
they would douse themselves in the first class, alcoholic beverages the humans would bring around. Shorty himself didn't use the classic go in a ham
sandwich disguise. He dressed as an old lady with alot of facial hair.
Once Shorty's army had massed in an abandoned hippy camp the planning began. Shorty thought for a long time, he didn't want another head on assault
that was too boring. After much thought and many bent politicians had been bribed Shorty came up with a plan. A cunning plan. A plan more cunning than
the fox that is the professer of cunning at Oxford uni. He pondered it for along time, until he noticed the slight flaw. The flaw being they don't
know any rhinoceroses that could pass themselves off as fairies.
So King Shorty sent his ONOS into the white house. They slipped quietly through the halls of the white house. They reached the presidents bedroom and
they thought they were undetected but this wasn't the case. As they crept into his room they heard a sound which made their tales stand on end. "ha
ha ha, look at the fuddy crats in the drak ninja clothes, ha ha ha, they even have face masks." They spun around to see a figure stumbling towards
them. The lead cat took up a fighting stance and began to size up the primitive monkey-man that was gaining on him. Its large hand scooped him up and
another hand began pulling his skin across his head so the cats eyes were wide open. The other ninjas stood froze in horror all the time the strange
laugh filling the room. "Sir, drop that cat" came the voice of a SS agent " but why, he is so cute hah ah ha ha" replied the idiot president. "
It could be a terrorist sir" said the SS agent. The president dropped the cat and backed away. " Put them in projective custard" ordered the
president. " You mean protective custody sir?" said the SS agent.
When word came back to Shorty he had no choice but to launch a large scale attack. Shorty wasn't happy about this. He must of over estimated
president Bush. However he did doubt this.
Shorty's massive army of cats marched through the streets of America, they met no residence. Very little of the American's army were actually in
America. Shorty finally reached the white house while T.V screens across America flicked to a shot of the presidents office. " Our free nation faces
a blave new enenemy. Cats are to be bashed, banished they are part of the axis of evil and will stop at nothing to destroy our free nation that we
impose on the world. It's a whole new type of Fleadom, ha ha ha ha ha. We have a group of these terrorist cats in our custod as we speak. We will
respond to this new threat by sending more troops to I-rack. These cats do not threaten us." and as the words were leaving his lips cats swarmed
through the small defenses and over run the white house.
Although the American president was no longer in control, America still run smoothly as if he never really done anything.
Their were still a few pockets of residence around but one stuck out more than most. It was a nuclear bunker hidden inside a mountain and everything
surrounding it was listed top secret SO DONT SHOW THE PRESIDENT. A small task force surrounded the mountain. A huge fire fight ensued, many cats fell
to the ground. The humans retreated inside the mountain and the cats gave chase, fighting their way through the many twisting tunnels of the mountain
complex. They reached a central point in the base. Humans filled the room to defend the base, while the cats held their position and waited for
reinforcements. Lots of cats had been lost (how clumsy) and for this Shorty was not grateful. King Shorty himself came to the base and brought his
hi-fi system with him, this was his secret weapon. There was serious loss of morale amongst the cats. This was soon to be solved. The cats prepared
for the final assault and just before the order came the smooth, grooves of squeeze came through the speaker system.
THE INDIANS SEND SIGNALS
FROM THE ROCKS ABOVE THE PASS
THE COWBOYS TAKE POSITONS
The attack began, the cats run in and many shots were fired. The table was turning and the humans were taking back ground, one guy with a tattoo on
his head made all the difference, he fought well.
AND HE WAKES TO THE FIND THE FIRES DEAD
AND ARROWS IN HIS HAT
The cats fought with all their might but many lay dead on the floor and others ran. Still they attacked continuously.
AND SAYS ITS COOL FOR CATS ITS COOL FOR CATS
Shorty’s called the withdraw of his cats. They retreated out of the room into a long tunnel. Shorty needed to do something but the humans made a
large mistake. They shot the speaks out and oh no Shorty was very annoyed.
He walked onto the central room, the humans aimed at him but Shorty just kept walking, his eyes stung as a bead of sweat dripped into his eye. He
blinked recovered and then sprung into life. He ran, dodging bullets all the way, at a human and knocked him over picking up his gun as he did so. He
jumped onto the wall and ran across firing his gun at the closest of the humans. Shorty’s landed sharply on the cold steel floor, bullets came
toward him, he lent backwards and waved his arms dramticly to avoid being hit but one scraped his leg and he fell to the floor. A round of bullets was
shot at him but he sprung up and waved his hand at the wall of bullets heading at him and as he did this they slowed and fell to the floor (
Familiar?). After this show of super human cat powers. The humans surrendered.
The Mountain base came under the control of CRAP.
To be continued...
I know what you're think "Is that a threat or a promise?"
(and yes i ripped off blackadder)
[edit on 21-1-2005 by shorty]