I don't have any friends, so, I'm going to rant to you guys.
I just got out of jail. I have no record at all. It was for domestic violence against my boyfriend. When he drinks liquor, he is mean and only wants
to fight. When he's sober, he's the best. He has done many things that I could of called the cops on him for but I didn't want him in trouble. He
punched me once, threw things at me, destroyed my stuff including the garage door. So, on Sunday, when he's obviously drunk and getting angry I can't
take it anymore! I grab his face weirdly trying to hurt him and there was a lot of pushing. I threw a lantern at his head and it cut his ear open. So,
I get arrested.
While I was in jail I was scared and feeling so depressed. Then, I find out my boyfriend is a liar and that he tried to cheat on me. My brother and
his house (he lives off the government) is apparently drug heaven. My brother occasionally ODs. He does pills, meth, and who knows what. I don't
associate with him but my mom does. My boyfriend has been over there "just talking" as he told me. So in jail, my mom tells me that she knew before
that he went there to get drugs and was trying to hook up with the girl meth bringer. I wanted to vomit. I figured she meant that he got pills because
I know he has a history with them. However, even recently talked about how he doesn't do them anymore. I was really devastated by the girl part,
though. We've been together almost 4 years and I trusted him so much. Like, this is all so unbelievable to me. The fact that he put me in jail is
unbelievable. I just got back out of jail and my mom tells me that she saw him smoke meth at my brother's. This upsets me so much. I'm so scared for
him and I am so sad to find out he's been lying to me and trying to talk to other girls. It's too crazy. I'm mad at my mom for waiting to tell me
until this crap happened. How could she want me to be with someone like this?
I started a good job, one that I went to school for, a week ago. I was taking his truck because the car I use needs fixed. I was supposed to be there
today but missed because of jail. I had someone call and let them know yesterday, though. I figured I'd probably be fired but apparently they still
want me there. I'm so glad about that. I have a way to get there until the car gets fixed. If it wasn't for that, I don't know. I'd be in worse shape
I am heartbroken. My best friend is a liar and cheater. Yet, I am going to miss him so much. I already do. Why can't people be honest?
Also, I know that I did the crime that I got arrested for but it bugs me because I don't think he should have gotten me in trouble when he's hurt me.
I probably sound bad but I have to vent this somewhere. I'm so afraid of the future. This is going to be hard. All I can do is picture him becoming a
meth head and being with other women. I can't stand the thoughts.
I'm out on a signature bond. The court made a temporary protection order so I can't even tell him that I know his dirty secrets now. That may be a
good thing, though. He picked up some stuff from my house while I was incarcerated but still has a ton of stuff here. I had my mom call and leave him
a message that he has to call before coming over because of the protection order. I go back to court on the 14th. I'm so scared that I'll have to do
time. I hated jail! Also, I desperately need this job. I sent out a bunch of resumes and cover letters to places and they all only have his cell
number on them.
What can I do? I think I want to feel numb. I hate this!
By the way, I am pretty straight-laced. I don't do drugs. I drink occasionally.
edit on 6-9-2016 by paperdoll because: '