How I dealt with some door to door Christian solicitors

If I have some time to kill, I'm invite them in to chat and debate. I too am a fan of the Gnostic gospels...and most know little or nothing about them ('Enoch' is interestin...'Thomas' is more in line with my thinking). Some are very nice and well educated...and one JW is actually a pretty interesting person, with whom I enjoy chatting.

If I'm busy...or they seem like aholes...I'll ask them if they'd like to come down to my rumpus room and play with my thirteen ferrets...Cliff, Norm, Sam, Diane, Carla, Woody, Coach, Rebecca, Frazier, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl and Cthulhu.

a reply to: DocScurlock1774

I was really hoping to get more users to reply with their experiences of encounters with door to door religious folk, even if they are drastically different from my own.

Perhaps you have one you could share with us to set the rules straight one how one ought behave in this scenario?

Rather than the Book of Enoch I would suggest the ladies familiarize themselves with Matthew 7:6

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

a reply to: ColdWisdom

Like you, I offered one of the books I've written to my JW friend. He actually took the time to read it and returned a couple of weeks later to discuss it.

I am always polite to people who seem sincere in their beliefs (regardless of whether or not I share them) and see no reason to be rude or insulting.
Most people just talk the talk...People willing to dedicate their time and energy to share what they value with others...even at risk of repeated ridicule and insult...deserve some respect IMO.

a reply to: IAMTAT

I am always polite to people who seem sincere in their beliefs (regardless of whether or not I share them) and see no reason to be rude or insulting.
Most people just talk the talk...People willing to dedicate their time and energy to share what they value with others...even at risk of repeated ridicule and insult...deserve some respect IMO.

I concur.

In fact, I have to respect them for choosing to continue talking after I went all Satanic on them. That takes courage!

Although, I think they got the impression that I wasn't being honest when I told them that I worship Satan. Had they really believed me they might have just taken off running instead.

Who knows?

originally posted by: ColdWisdom
So it's about 10:58 AM now here in Tampa, FL. Usually on Saturdays around this time I am either sleeping off a hangover or I am still going from the night before.

Today was not so, however. I went to bed fairly early as I didn't go out last night. Instead, last night I watched Leviathan, the four hour long documentary about Clive Barker's Hellraiser series, which seemed ironically appropriate to mention in this story.

So I live in a 1920s historic Art Deco building on one of the islands jutting out from downtown Tampa. There are exactly twelve units and mine is on the second floor. I was outside smoking a ciggy when these two ladies came up and started chatting with me.

Both latino, possibly a mother and daughter, very well spoken English and very polite.

Younger lady: We are out this morning trying to spread the word and faith of our lord Jesus Christ!

I light my cig, inhale, exhale and lean back with a grin on my face.

Me: Your wasting your breath, ladies. I worship Satan!

Bring unto me your unwell and your unlearned and they shall be satisfied.

Lol...bring em to me in ones twos threes or by the busload....I LOVE i when I have door to door doctrinal opportunitty gifted to me and brought right into my wheelhouse as a self-captivated audience.

originally posted by: ColdWisdom

Although, I think they got the impression that I wasn't being honest when I told them that I worship Satan.

You weren't being honest.

You just said Satanists don't worship Satan, and that they don't even believe he exists (in whatever brand of it you're referring to--there are several, some of which do).

Maybe they know more about it than you give them credit for (or more than even you do), but you'll never know because you're too busy acting like a jerk to solicit what you consider to be amusing responses that you can tell everyone about, expecting them to think you're cool for doing it.

You're not. I hope you can see that by the responses you're getting. If you're not interested, why don't you just say "thanks, but no thanks" and send them on their way?

Or, for that matter, why even answer the door? Who did you think they were, Mary Kay reps?

a reply to: ColdWisdom

i see you rated me out, sorry to offend you.

I dont dictate human interaction so i am not tell anyone how things ought to be.

but ill play

So last one two kids came up to my door telling me about there baptist church and handed me a flyer promoting it, i said thank you took the flyer and said hey im getting ready for work but good luck and God bless.

When the Jehovas come to my door i am not as nice, I just tell them no thank you and dont take there stuff and shut the door. Something about that religion creeps me out some say its a Satanic offshoot and/or sect.

No prof of that but there are definite free mason ties that can be proven. And Freemasons can be linked to satanism so at least the founding can be linked to satanism.

But something does not sit right with me when im around them bad vibes or something.

a reply to: ColdWisdom

In fact, I have to respect them for choosing to continue talking after I went all Satanic on them. That takes courage!

It doesn't take courage to keep doing what you feel is right even though some easily entertained little man pretends to be a satanist.

Just saying

. Had they really believed me they might have just taken off running instead.

You really are not well experienced in this life are you, what are you like 20-23 years old?

Lol ColdWisdom, great start to your day eh?!

I guess my morning went a tad better than yours. This is who knocked on my door this morning...I cant say as we got into any long dawn out worldly discussions though...



PS: Stay safe, seems your going to be getting a bit wet soon from our non decisive storm

a reply to: AaronOfEther

If you're not interested, why don't you just say "thanks, but no thanks" and send them on their way?

It has been a while since they've come around 'knocking' since I've moved here, I will say that in the past they have knocked before while I was sleeping. On those occasions, I was indeed very polite. I opened the door, heard what they had to say, told them politely I was not interested and I have even told them 'good luck' on an occasion or two.

This time in particular, I just happened to be outside already.

You just said Satanists don't worship Satan, and that they don't even believe he exists (in whatever brand of it you're referring to--there are several, some of which do).

Can you specifically name the ones that do believe in Satan and worship him as such?

Do you know who Anton LaVey is?

Maybe they know more about it than you give them credit for (or more than even you do), but you'll never know because you're too busy acting like a jerk to solicit what you consider to be amusing responses that you can tell everyone about, expecting them to think you're cool for doing it.

So again, I'm not expecting anyone to think anything about me. What I was hoping to achieve at the very least, was to inspire other ATS members to share their stories about door to door religious folk in this thread.

So I will pose the same challenge to you that I did to the Doc, earlier.

Perhaps you have one you could share with us to set the rules straight one how one ought behave in this scenario?

a reply to: onehuman

Is that an Ibis?

originally posted by: ColdWisdom

Can you specifically name the ones that do believe in Satan and worship him as such?

Theistic Satanism

Perhaps you have one you could share with us to set the rules straight one how one ought behave in this scenario?

I just did. Say "thanks, but no thanks" and send them on their way. Politely say no instead of mocking them like a jackass.

Pardon my French.

originally posted by: ColdWisdom
a reply to: onehuman

Is that an Ibis?

Sandhill Crane

a reply to: AaronOfEther

Theistic Satanism

Every extreme will be represented. I've met some Theistic Satanists that believed that Lucifer was actually an extra terrestrial from a distant galaxy who traveled all this way to enlighten humanity. I do not share the same views with them or any Satanists for that matter.

I gave you a star for doing your homework, though.

Now you should refer back to my OP where I explicitly state that most Satanists do not (objectively) believe in any supreme being or deity and likewise to not worship any being or deity.

That part is still true.

a reply to: ColdWisdom

Now you should refer back to my OP where I explicitly state that most Satanists do not (objectively) believe in any supreme being or deity and likewise to not worship any being or deity. That part is still true.

There would seem to be either apostates or not true believers in all camps of faith .

originally posted by: ColdWisdom
I light my cig, inhale, exhale and lean back with a grin on my face.

I feel like you feel like this makes you look cool.

Me: Your wasting your breath, ladies. I worship Satan!

I'm confused. You told them that you worship Satan; not that you are a Satanist. So why were you upset when the lady reiterated that you worship "something different" (Satan)? I'm aware that Satanists don't worship Satan but if someone says they worship Satan, I will take it as they worship Satan. Or they're just being snarky.

I liked your story OP.

I to have had many of these Christians at my door (usually once a week) or so, now i don't answer the door, but when i used to, they'd be like.

Do you know our saviour God and his son Jesus,, I'd be like Yeah who doesn't,,they start blabbing on and on and go in circles, then I'd say, how old is life on earth, (some were like), 6000 yo and i'll laugh lol... Others believe in evolution and I'd speak with them, but most always take the book out of context or keep on with Bible verses (not real opinions) brain washed.

Anyway they still knock or drop # thru my door, one day i'm going to invite them in and chat,,Not anytime soon.

a reply to: paperdoll

I'm confused. You told them that you worship Satan; not that you are a Satanist. So why were you upset when the lady reiterated that you worship "something different" (Satan)? I'm aware that Satanists don't worship Satan but if someone says they worship Satan, I will take it as they worship Satan. Or they're just being snarky.

I wasn't upset with them at all. And I'm quite sure she knew I was being snarky.