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I've relapsed again...
page: 1share:
I swore off dating sites. But I think I should try oneeeeeeeeee more time.
Who has had luck?
I think one of my problems on these sites is that I'm way too honest and upfront. No one likes truthfulness in romance, they just want to drown in illusion. Ok, so fine!
Let's start pulling out the smoke and mirrors.
How can I make myself seem desirable and attractive. I mean, I already am, really.
I make good money, have a steady job. I have a sense of humor and I don't look like a forest troll. I treat people right and have a good heart. I used to think this was all I needed.
WRONG-O!
It takes more. It takes a hand-up. It takes an edge to slice out the competition of good-looking doofus-bags who lie, cheat, and finagle their way into a woman's heart.
So how can I get in on this? How can I even the odds? How can I be a contender in the game of disappointed blind dates that lead to nothing but beguile and guilt? I need the perfect profile to magnetize!
Yeah! This time iz gonna werk! (But I need your help to pull off this daredevil stunt of indulgent self-pity)
edit on 22-8-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)
originally posted by: Indigent
Have you tried one of those Russian/Asian bride websites?
I dated a girl from Moscow for a year. It was the most horrible, deceitful farce of a relationship you can imagine. She was money-hungry and full of lies.
The only reason I put up with it for as long as I did was because of her looks and her willingness with the physical relationship. She preyed upon me.
It only made me feel pathetic and slimy. I don't want that sheet again.
edit on 22-8-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
What do you want from a relation? if you got money be practical and get one of those sugar daddy arrangements with a university student, you get your stuff, she gets educated and all are happy not kidding themselves on what they seek in each other.
What do you want from a relation? if you got money be practical and get one of those sugar daddy arrangements with a university student, you get your stuff, she gets educated and all are happy not kidding themselves on what they seek in each other.
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I don't know man. From what I have heard from people who do online, most of the time the connections are just temporary hook ups and nothing serious. I mean like literally just sex calls in between a date or two. Obviously its nothing wrong with that if thats what ya looking for. Hell I would take that in a heartbeat if its just for fun casual times.
But I have not personally heard from anyone who got into anything seriously with the online hook ups. Just market that you like to party, drink like a horse, umm pretend to be some big shot stock broker or board member.
I don't know man. From what I have heard from people who do online, most of the time the connections are just temporary hook ups and nothing serious. I mean like literally just sex calls in between a date or two. Obviously its nothing wrong with that if thats what ya looking for. Hell I would take that in a heartbeat if its just for fun casual times.
But I have not personally heard from anyone who got into anything seriously with the online hook ups. Just market that you like to party, drink like a horse, umm pretend to be some big shot stock broker or board member.
originally posted by: Indigent
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
What do you want from a relation? if you got money be practical and get one of those sugar daddy arrangements with a university student, you get your stuff, she gets educated and all are happy not kidding themselves on what they seek in each other.
Did you not see the part where I said I'm not going to hand over money for young bimbos again?
edit on 22-8-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
Try not looking... thats usually when it works.
I tried that app once...ONCE!
I got a stalker. Steer away from online dating.
The best always happens when you least expect it. Really it does.🐴
Try not looking... thats usually when it works.
I tried that app once...ONCE!
I got a stalker. Steer away from online dating.
The best always happens when you least expect it. Really it does.🐴
edit on 22-8-2016 by Bigburgh because: (no reason given)
If you're looking for a relationship, you need to find someone who likes you...for you. If you need to bring out the smoke and mirrors, you're just
gonna keep getting the shallow gold diggers.
I want a woman who like ME, not a front I put up to lure her in. I belong to a dating site and have had quite a few offers. I've turned down all but one, because they just don't come up to my standards. I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't really click with. The one put up those smoke and mirrors....but I saw right through them pretty fast. No one can keep up a front for long. Your real self WILL show through.
I want a woman who like ME, not a front I put up to lure her in. I belong to a dating site and have had quite a few offers. I've turned down all but one, because they just don't come up to my standards. I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't really click with. The one put up those smoke and mirrors....but I saw right through them pretty fast. No one can keep up a front for long. Your real self WILL show through.
edit on 22-8-2016
by DAVID64 because: punctuation. It Counts.
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I got the part you said you were superficial and felt used, i gave you an alternative to not feeling abused.
Perhaps your abrasive attitude is your problem?
I just wanted to help
The only reason I put up with it for as long as I did was because of her looks and her willingness with the physical relationship. She preyed upon me
I got the part you said you were superficial and felt used, i gave you an alternative to not feeling abused.
Perhaps your abrasive attitude is your problem?
I just wanted to help
edit on 22-8-2016 by Indigent because: (no reason given)
originally posted by: DAVID64
If you're looking for a relationship, you need to find someone who likes you...for you. If you need to bring out the smoke and mirrors, you're just gonna keep getting the shallow gold diggers.
I want a woman who like ME, not a front I put up to lure her in. I belong to a dating site and have had quite a few offers. I've turned down all but one, because they just don't come up to my standards. I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't really click with. The one put up those smoke and mirrors....but I saw right through them pretty fast. No one can keep up a front for long. Your real self WILL show through.
It's good advice. And I've tried following it all my adult life.
I think being myself are the seeds of all my failures.
a reply to: Indigent
No, it's not that I'm superficial or abrasive.
The point is that she knew just how to prey upon me. What she didn't count on was that I had my limits and would not sell myself to superficiality and sex.
That's kinda what you're asking me to do again.
No, it's not that I'm superficial or abrasive.
The point is that she knew just how to prey upon me. What she didn't count on was that I had my limits and would not sell myself to superficiality and sex.
That's kinda what you're asking me to do again.
edit on 22-8-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)
You're better off just trying to meet someone in an area based on common interests. That is, if you're wanting a proper relationship and not just a
random hookup. As that's really only what most dating websites have to offer.
I know a few couples who have gotten together online first before meeting physically, but it was never via a dating website.. they originally discovered each other because they had common interests. Forums, online games, one couple I know met because they were both doing Nanowrimo (November novel writing thing).
*shrugs*
I know a few couples who have gotten together online first before meeting physically, but it was never via a dating website.. they originally discovered each other because they had common interests. Forums, online games, one couple I know met because they were both doing Nanowrimo (November novel writing thing).
*shrugs*
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
well, i met a few wonderful flings in the book store in my early twentys. It was really clever actually. If your vision is good enough, you can see the author of the book a nice lady is studying, then pick up another if they have one and just start a bull# dialogue from there. Especially if they have other titles listed in the book you grab. For instance:
"Oh heeey I see your a fan of (Author), I just started this one. How is that one?? Ohh cool! Have you read his other titles (insert titles you may have found advertised in the book lol) ? Oh yea cool, hey would you mind if we grab a coffee and we can talk about the books?? If you have time of course!" you know or some variation of that scenario. Anyone who agrees probably won't care much about discussing the book for long, and will be easier to get the routine intro's and back storys on each other and whatnot.
I know it sounds corny, and it will not always work. But I just found it was always more pleasant to strike up a conversation with a nice lady in a book store. Because you know she reads, so is probably not some dummy going through life on look alone. Or you can even scope out your interests and see if any people are in that section. I liked it because it provided a very easy and fluid path to conversation. Then I met my wife at work, and Borders went out of business. But those nice temporary relationships were pretty fun.
I love bookstores, so many interesting people ready to strike up conversation.
well, i met a few wonderful flings in the book store in my early twentys. It was really clever actually. If your vision is good enough, you can see the author of the book a nice lady is studying, then pick up another if they have one and just start a bull# dialogue from there. Especially if they have other titles listed in the book you grab. For instance:
"Oh heeey I see your a fan of (Author), I just started this one. How is that one?? Ohh cool! Have you read his other titles (insert titles you may have found advertised in the book lol) ? Oh yea cool, hey would you mind if we grab a coffee and we can talk about the books?? If you have time of course!" you know or some variation of that scenario. Anyone who agrees probably won't care much about discussing the book for long, and will be easier to get the routine intro's and back storys on each other and whatnot.
I know it sounds corny, and it will not always work. But I just found it was always more pleasant to strike up a conversation with a nice lady in a book store. Because you know she reads, so is probably not some dummy going through life on look alone. Or you can even scope out your interests and see if any people are in that section. I liked it because it provided a very easy and fluid path to conversation. Then I met my wife at work, and Borders went out of business. But those nice temporary relationships were pretty fun.
I love bookstores, so many interesting people ready to strike up conversation.
edit on 8/22/2016 by AmericanRealist because: spelling
a reply to: kaelci
Oh right. I forgot to mention that traditional methods of just "meeting people" in common interest hangouts has never worked for me.
I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I definitely have tried and tried. Nothing has ever clicked for me. I just always seem to be farthest on everybody's radar.
So clearly, I need to sell myself like a used car that can't get off the lot.
Oh right. I forgot to mention that traditional methods of just "meeting people" in common interest hangouts has never worked for me.
I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I definitely have tried and tried. Nothing has ever clicked for me. I just always seem to be farthest on everybody's radar.
So clearly, I need to sell myself like a used car that can't get off the lot.
edit on 22-8-2016 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
do you communicate with the majority of your friends in verbal in person, or mostly through text and online?? The way you communicate with your friends can affect how you strike up conversation with strangers. I have always noticed the generation just under me, the ones born mid nineties and later tend to be more awkward when speaking with strangers, especially females. Some of them give these looks like "wtf is this person talking to me for?!" Im thinking "yea dummy, this is how human beings made friends since the beginning of time".
But alot of the younger gens have had their social skills with strangers somewhat inhibited because of the distance and coldness of online and text coms being their regular interaction with other humans. Im only thirty man, but if I speak to anyone I don't know, we can usually be friends really quick.
I cant begin to know what you feel are doing wrong. I do know though that women are more receptive when a man exudes confidence, so take that for what its worth.
do you communicate with the majority of your friends in verbal in person, or mostly through text and online?? The way you communicate with your friends can affect how you strike up conversation with strangers. I have always noticed the generation just under me, the ones born mid nineties and later tend to be more awkward when speaking with strangers, especially females. Some of them give these looks like "wtf is this person talking to me for?!" Im thinking "yea dummy, this is how human beings made friends since the beginning of time".
But alot of the younger gens have had their social skills with strangers somewhat inhibited because of the distance and coldness of online and text coms being their regular interaction with other humans. Im only thirty man, but if I speak to anyone I don't know, we can usually be friends really quick.
I cant begin to know what you feel are doing wrong. I do know though that women are more receptive when a man exudes confidence, so take that for what its worth.
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
I'll start the description for you
"Ladies! Feast your eyes upon this fine specimen!"
- - - -
But in all seriousness. -Humour-. But I say this as an Australian and I'm used to sarcasm/self-deprecation/strange-humour that other cultures just don't seem to understand and take too literally.
Don't take yourself seriously, just get typing, make fun of yourself, not tooooo badly, just lightly, enough to get a giggle or two, it'll encourage people to read your whole attempt to sell yourself. (still speaking in the used car analogy here)
I'll start the description for you
"Ladies! Feast your eyes upon this fine specimen!"
- - - -
But in all seriousness. -Humour-. But I say this as an Australian and I'm used to sarcasm/self-deprecation/strange-humour that other cultures just don't seem to understand and take too literally.
Don't take yourself seriously, just get typing, make fun of yourself, not tooooo badly, just lightly, enough to get a giggle or two, it'll encourage people to read your whole attempt to sell yourself. (still speaking in the used car analogy here)
I had been married for 7 years previous and in that time dating online had become the go to resource. Since I decided to upgrade from the previous
wife I was actually shocked by how easy it all was?!.
I went on a few dates and long and short of it I ended up having to make a choice between a Highly Educated Colombian Bombshell or A Petite Filipino girl who was in the UK on a working Visa for private med tech. I know what you are going to say "gold digger"..Nope within a few dates I found out she was minted and her parents owned just about everything back home in their province..
So I chose to go Asian, no regrets thus far, we are 5 years in and have a wonderful little boy, I have told her she is on a 7 year contract and has to maintain a certain standard, I am not being seen with a women that is 4'11" and looking like a typical western Gal that is addicted to KFC coffee and day time TV. I maintain myself with exercise and healthy living it is the least my partner can do and it is all going well!!!!....
I suppose you want to know how I went about the whole online dating thing?..
Well I was open to any women really but obvious looks are quite important (yes I am shallow) To a Point..
I went on dates with women from all backgrounds and ethnic make up, I do like to sample a few other flavors.
I did not just do the BS one line messages after reading a profile "hey baby you hot can I have ur number", I would reply in well thought out paragraphs I had zero worries about not having stuff in common.
Some of the best women I spoke with where totally at the other end of the spectrum interest wise (Even my wife now is totally different to me).. I can get on with almost anyone, I have a quick sense of humor that can be lost on some people, I tend to say what I think but emotionally I can connect well. The worst dates I ever went on where actually with English Women, It was always
What job do you do?
Do you have a big house
what is the salary like in your job
...
Best dates where people new to the city (London) and more often than not they where looking to get to know people and they where using the dating site for that. Which is fine, I had a good few nights out and met some great people and in that time found a great Wife.. Look outside the box brother it is a big world out there not all women are equal and never settle for anything other than what you want 100%.. This may also mean making changes to yourself, be it fitness, health etc..
Women do not want a Mr perfect, they want a edge some unexpected tendancies from a bloke and to be entertained, you can be Mr charming but honestly they get bored..
A fantastic read is this, it may well shape your mindset regarding long term decisions
dontmarry.wordpress.com...
Happy Hunting
RA
I went on a few dates and long and short of it I ended up having to make a choice between a Highly Educated Colombian Bombshell or A Petite Filipino girl who was in the UK on a working Visa for private med tech. I know what you are going to say "gold digger"..Nope within a few dates I found out she was minted and her parents owned just about everything back home in their province..
So I chose to go Asian, no regrets thus far, we are 5 years in and have a wonderful little boy, I have told her she is on a 7 year contract and has to maintain a certain standard, I am not being seen with a women that is 4'11" and looking like a typical western Gal that is addicted to KFC coffee and day time TV. I maintain myself with exercise and healthy living it is the least my partner can do and it is all going well!!!!....
I suppose you want to know how I went about the whole online dating thing?..
Well I was open to any women really but obvious looks are quite important (yes I am shallow) To a Point..
I went on dates with women from all backgrounds and ethnic make up, I do like to sample a few other flavors.
I did not just do the BS one line messages after reading a profile "hey baby you hot can I have ur number", I would reply in well thought out paragraphs I had zero worries about not having stuff in common.
Some of the best women I spoke with where totally at the other end of the spectrum interest wise (Even my wife now is totally different to me).. I can get on with almost anyone, I have a quick sense of humor that can be lost on some people, I tend to say what I think but emotionally I can connect well. The worst dates I ever went on where actually with English Women, It was always
What job do you do?
Do you have a big house
what is the salary like in your job
...
Best dates where people new to the city (London) and more often than not they where looking to get to know people and they where using the dating site for that. Which is fine, I had a good few nights out and met some great people and in that time found a great Wife.. Look outside the box brother it is a big world out there not all women are equal and never settle for anything other than what you want 100%.. This may also mean making changes to yourself, be it fitness, health etc..
Women do not want a Mr perfect, they want a edge some unexpected tendancies from a bloke and to be entertained, you can be Mr charming but honestly they get bored..
A fantastic read is this, it may well shape your mindset regarding long term decisions
dontmarry.wordpress.com...
Happy Hunting
RA
originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
originally posted by: Indigent
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
What do you want from a relation? if you got money be practical and get one of those sugar daddy arrangements with a university student, you get your stuff, she gets educated and all are happy not kidding themselves on what they seek in each other.
Did you not see the part where I said I'm not going to hand over money for young bimbos again?
Maybe sugargrannies.com orso? So that you can be the young fresh bimbo for a while?
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