'To be honest': What does the phrase bring to mind?

When I hear the phrase, "to be honest", I know I'm dealing with a liar. I start wondering how much of a liar the person is after that.

I would like to get people's opinions of the following substitute phrases:

"To be completely frank"

"To be completely candid"

I use phrases such as those to indicate that I am being more forthright than usual. Does that make me sound like a liar?

originally posted by: Profusion
...more forthright than usual.

You are either telling the truth or not.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Profusion
...more forthright than usual.

You are either telling the truth or not.

There are some brilliant insights into that assertion in the thread linked to below. I wish I could quote some of them here. If you read the thread you'll see that it's not such a simple issue.

Lying: Where do you draw the line?

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Ummm, yes, you better be."

I feel like both of those give me the same impression as the first which is a mixed impression of:

Either this person is about to lie to me. (We've all seen those cops episodes right? "Sir, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, lie lie lie lie lie")

OR

They are insecure about the topic and usually hold back or mask their true feelings, and are about to give me a glimpse into their mind for once.

Its hard to tell which is which sometimes, but in the end I feel like the "truth" always comes out, if it hadn't already.

-Alee

So you judge someone's honesty by their use of a figure of speech?

a reply to: Profusion

Honestly, I use this phrase when it's time to cut the BS and get to the point.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: Profusion

Honestly, I use this phrase when it's time to cut the BS and get to the point.

Right, more of like a "Okay the sugar coating is done, listen up" eh?

-Alee

a reply to: NerdGoddess

'xactly. It's a polite segue for the transition to impolitness

originally posted by: Profusion
There are some brilliant insights into that assertion in the thread linked to below.

It is not an assertion, either you are being truthful or you or not.

a reply to: Profusion
If you want to give warning that you're about to say something offensive, then "No offence, but..." is in common use.

Once upon a time in my first marriage. My wife and I were having a deep discussion about smelly feet.....her smelly feet and I said......Can I be Frank with you? And she said sure you can...I've been needing some strange!!a reply to: Profusion

a reply to: Profusionsadly all human beings are liers...my Cat has spoken...he and I agree...so anything you do or say will not be listened to...sadly now that my Cat turned me into a mere mortal human...every thing I say or do is a complete fabrication.
what really sucks is that when I speak, I run out of air and start to croak...
on topic, maybe try writing down the truth, rather than saying it? things are more solid on paper...make sure it is Green/ecologicallly sound like bamboo... that should appear truthful enough....just a concept...maybe it will help you.... maybe not....presentation of truthful matters need not be spoken as a public display unless you are dealing with law, matters...I might pm you.

a reply to: peppycat

To be honest, huh?

a reply to: Profusion

Why do we need to be "completely honest"? What about all those other times?

Statements used to convince others we tell the truth because they suspect we usually don't.

Like saying, I know on other occasions I may have fibbed but this time I'm really, really telling the truth.

Instead we say, to be completely honest...

a reply to: Profusion

If I'm using those phrases it's because I'm telling someone how much they suck. I might start off being more diplomatic in an attempt at professionalism, but thinking about how much they suck usually gets me worked up about the fact that I am still stuck dealing with this idiot.

So out pops the, "To be honest, you are the most incompetent human being I've ever encountered and you should do us all a favor and jump in front of a bus".

But that's just me.

a reply to: peppycat

I just hope everything turns out for the best.

a reply to: intrptr

My favorite saying of that type is:

"I wouldn't lie about this."

a reply to: Profusion

Hmm, I say it for a completely different reason.

There are many ways to say something and each way can have different connotations or different effects on people. So I usually prefer the more diplomatic or humorous way of saying something, rather than an abrasive or way to say it. For example, there are a lot of ways to remind someone they need to finish a task without sounding like a jerk. That's basic management skills. (It's also the difference between "You're horrible at this!" and "I think you'll be a better fit over there".)

But sometimes, I can't find a good or clever way to say something, I'm in a bad mood, I'm just throwing out ideas, or I think someone just needs to hear the unfiltered truth (or I'm directly challenging them). So I just say what comes to mind. This can often lead to misunderstandings though.

Ummm... I always say "honestly" or "to be honest"...
And whenever I do, I am always honest....

But I guess that's for whoever I'm talking to, to ascertain for themselves.



eta:

originally posted by: Bluntone22
So you judge someone's honesty by their use of a figure of speech?

Exactly, it's just a figure of speech.

when I hear that the first thing I think is " I assumed that you were already being completely honest with me" there are no degrees of honesty, you either are or you aren`t.