Barstar Lumberjerk An Almost True Story

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
When I said, "Eat me" I didn't mean it that way.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

*sighs*

He's so dreamy.

Bird is SO LUCKY that she has such a close personal relationship with this grammy award winning perfect pitch genius.

a reply to: Skid Mark

To late. Barstar likes the cut of your jib, and your flank steak.

originally posted by: geezlouise
Bird is SO LUCKY that she has such a close personal relationship with this grammy award winning perfect pitch genius.

Did you also catch that someone else managed to score some face time with the Great Man himself?

It was such an honor to have him regale me with his exploits. I will never be worthy of his friendship.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
You just want to see me bathe in A1 steak sauce.

a reply to: Skid Mark

I just want to see you bathe.


Barstar wrote a poem about it:

Scrubby dubby
Skid in the tubby

Washy washy
Then noshy noshy

I like having friends for dinner

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

D∆MNIT!

That's what I was planning to do when I met you too, but he beat me to it.

There's just no competing against the all time great Barstar Lumberjerk. He makes us all feel inferior.

originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
*sighs*
He's so dreamy.
Bird is SO LUCKY that she has such a close personal relationship with this grammy award winning perfect pitch genius.

Yes.
Yes, I am.
Very lucky.

And believe I don't take a second of the friendship for granted. I know that Barstar has graced me with his kindness and infinite beauty only as one of his many charitable and altruistic actions.

I truly am blessed to have become acquainted with such an honest and upstanding individual.

I am not worthy.

originally posted by: geezlouise
D∆MNIT!

That's what I was planning to do when I met you too, but he beat me too it.

I will try to be excited but if I get a far off, dreamy look in my eyes, well, you know why.

There's just no competing against the all time great Barstar Lumberjerk. He makes us all feel inferior.

Which is why I read his poetry. When I recognize the nut kick that is my unworthiness his verses make my spirit soar. He is a lyrical genius.

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
I truly am blessed to have become acquainted with such an honest and upstanding individual.

Truly a more honest and real person cannot be found. Sometimes I think he is more real than me.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

God, he's like Jesus H. F-cking Christ, really.

I feel so uncleanly with all my imperfections in comparison. And yet, it's ok because I'm enraptured by his second coming and the spell he's captured all of us in. So maybe he's more like Harry F-cking Potter... well that's ok, be can put a spell on me.

*goes pink in the cheeks just thinking about Barstar Lumberjerk*

originally posted by: geezlouise
*goes pink in the cheeks just thinking about Barstar Lumberjerk*

Add yourself to his long list of groupies. They honor will be all yours.

Here's a little verse he wrote to help you. He calls it The Panty Remover:

Vodka, you taste like nothing
Like me and my stories
Empty and without soul
A barren wasteland of flavor
Mix you with ice
Always so nice
Drink more my dear
Vodka with caviar is a dream
I also taste good with fish eggs

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

You are a awesome poet Augie!👍

originally posted by: Quantum12
You are a awesome poet Augie!👍

Me? I don't write crap man. That is all the wondrousness that is Barstar Lumberjerk.

I am not the kind of person to take credit for other people or overinflate myself on the interwebs.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Your poems are really good!

originally posted by: Quantum12
Your poems are really good!

*sigh*

I couldn't rhyme cat with hat.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

Awesome 5 Stars! lol

That was awesome loved reading it Chirp!

originally posted by: awareness10
Awesome 5 Stars! lol

That was awesome loved reading it Chirp!

What is your story about meeting the great Barstar? How did his amazing talent impact your life? Please tell us all and share a poem or song that he wrote.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

oh crap...

Well.. Barstar a man without integrity, who stood in front of his mirror daily thinking himself to be great and mighty in the eyes of the many, this was nothing more than self delusion, and i must conclude, not shared by the many, and not by me in the least.

His Narcissim became him, tragically.. he was nothing more than a slug in a pond wishing himself to be a Prince.

This was a problem... Not only for himself but for all those around him who could see him for who he was.

In short, i am too analytical to ever fall for such a man completely giving my will over to him and his demented ideals. Experience has served me well and prepared me for my journey into the unknown.

I am one of they who 'got away'. I warn others on their trek into the unknown wilderness. Love and compassion come first, there is no leeway for the selfish nor they who feel themselves to be of great importance over those who don't actually care.

That's my take on it, and possibly a futuristic story of my survival.

a reply to: awareness10

Sounds like he wanted to go hippty hoppity down the nature trail with you too.

Glad you saw that Barstar would have just made you another notch on his belt and then wrote some sappy poetry about it.