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Why Do Females Feel The Need To Do This ?

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posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 02:42 AM
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originally posted by: Reverbs
a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I dated a coworker for about 3o days before she beat me up and locked me out 2 stories on a balcony with no shirt/shoes/wallet/phone..
At my place.

I climbed down called the cops at my neighbors house and I looked so bad they instantly arrested her no questions except where did she hit you.

we worked together so I told my boss she got arrested.
they held her three days but instantly we were not allowed in the same areas. So....
She got fired.

could have been me or her or both of us..

while inside she destroyed the entire house and slammed her head into walls bruising herself.

she lied in court after going after me a sheriff at my house serving me a restraining order.. I'm like wtf?

but truth won in that one, but she lost her job.

Then the criminal assault case.

I recommended to the DA anger management. I thought that would help society better than jail time. The judges and DA were women. The first responding officer was a woman. She was like before anything. "in this state we take this seriously we don't blame the guy." I was surprised how equal and fair the courts were. It was my call the DA said she would go to jail automatically.


I don't recommend work relationships haha
because of all the court dates and money loss I lost my job
Not fun, but I've had worse.
Sweet hearted warrior.
Till I die.


Sweet baby Santa Claus...


What died in that woman's Wheaties?




posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 03:16 AM
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There are loads of reasons I think people do this

1. It is the truth and an honest reply e.g you mention bad weather and their first thought is genuinly that it will effect going out for lunch with their bf. Should they overthink their honest reply especially if they think it is just a friendly conversation there is no reason to hide this fact.
2. They are setting the boundry straight away because they want to still talk to you without you getting the wrong idea or they really don't want any form of flirtation.
3. They are assuming any strange man sparking up conversation is trying to chat them up and they are looking to see if you mention wife etc so they know you are just interacting in a friendly convo
4. They want you to know they are desired by another because if you come across as if you are flirting they might be slightly offended that you assumed they are single?
5. You are in a bar/club they don't want to waste your time.
6.They think you are about to attack them or crazy in some way so letting you know that they are meeting up with their bf means that someone is expecting them and will kick your ass so don't bother you psycho.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 04:01 AM
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originally posted by: VegHead
It's a preemptive move ... It's meant to spare the guy hurt feelings or embarrassment. Let him know you aren't available romantically right off the bat.

My husband tells me I'm really good at this particular social move.


So all they think about is being hit on?

Naww, I doubt it.

"Hey lady I'm not an astronomer, I hope you dont make me look at your telescope."

Nope.. it's an ego thing. "Hey you male, I am taken, so keep your attention on what I let you."

Yep.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 06:05 AM
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originally posted by: AmericanRealist
In the past, I simply would take it as a challenge. I would pretend I did not hear it, not even discuss it, and just keep laying on the charm. Sometimes they cheat, and sometimes they don't. Other times they just made it up i would discover.

Women get hit on ALL the time. But I suspect they would only bring it up in an introduction if the male counterpart is being too obvious with his intent.

So like many other things women say, I just assume they are lying and pretend I did not hear it. Although in my experience, this is rarely brought up in a casual introduction or meeting. Usually only when my intent became clear.

Either way, it would never bother me.


Ew.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 06:21 AM
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originally posted by: VegHead
It's a preemptive move ... It's meant to spare the guy hurt feelings or embarrassment. Let him know you aren't available romantically right off the bat.

My husband tells me I'm really good at this particular social move.

Social move, or narcissistic trait?

Could be either depending on the context.



edit on 9/8/2016 by Dark Ghost because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 06:40 AM
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Blue_Jay33

At work..I like being recognized for my work. Um.. I don't want to be thought of as a potential date by anyone there. It is important that I am seen for my contributions there instead of anything else.. (at least to me) So, I'll try to avoid any situations that look as though they might be a lead in to something more than a work related relationship. I usually do not pretend to have a boyfriend or husband ... I just make it obvious through my demeanor that I am not interested in anything more.

In social settings, I am usually out with my sisters or close friends and want to spend time with them..I'm not trying to find a date..so, I am less curt, but still will shut you down if you approach me while I am trying to just hang out and "be"

I guess it is all about the timing..when to approach and when not to.. most men don't know or care..they just see a woman and think it's ok to try and get a date..so, maybe that's not how you do it..but women are so used to having to combat that they just automatically assume???

thanks,
blend57



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 06:55 AM
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Funny thing is that female co-workers mention it in our first meeting, but then when they see I truly have no intent they don't seem to ever mention it again. They will let me know if they broke up with a boyfriend or separated from their husbands too, they are quick to announce relationship changes to me.

Sorry as guy I just find it all strange.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:05 AM
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Blue_Jay33

If I feel comfortable with you at work..know you are not going to try and make a move on me because you have shown as much through past interactions.. I will talk about my personal life with you just as I would another girl..it is a compliment to you because I feel safe enough to do so.

Just because I share with you that I broke up with my husband/boyfriend doesn't mean I am looking for you to fill the position..just means I am sharing with you something that is currently on my mind and important to me..nothing more. At least that is what it would be for me..

Can not speak for anyone else...they are their own person..and may think differently..

Thanks,
blend57
edit on 9-8-2016 by blend57 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:15 AM
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a reply to: blend57

Fair enough, for a woman a break up in a relationship is a big deal in their life and they will talk to anybody they feel conformable with about it, I think that means "friend zoned", for me, and I am ok with that because they are co-workers.
But actually I have had numerous female co-workers hit on me over the years, but I have just "friend zoned" them as off limits anyways.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:19 AM
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Don't listen to all the women on here OP. When chickies shoot you down by saying they have a 'boyfriend' or 'husband' what they are really saying is 'try harder, buckaroo, maybe use your awesome stalkerish powers to land a date with my hot ass'.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:21 AM
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a reply to: blend57

Nope.

That's fairly right on Blend, in my world at least.

I agree with those above who stated that it could be something in the OPs vibe.
If someone is very confident, outgoing, open and extremely friendly quite often in my opinion those cues can be misread.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:50 AM
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originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
Funny thing is that female co-workers mention it in our first meeting, but then when they see I truly have no intent they don't seem to ever mention it again. They will let me know if they broke up with a boyfriend or separated from their husbands too, they are quick to announce relationship changes to me.

Sorry as guy I just find it all strange.





I have seen this with some of my female coworkers and I always think how weird!

I also noticed that the same women who did this were also the same women who talked incessantly about how "Hot that guy is".

I think they are into the guy!



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:53 AM
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a reply to: TNMockingbird




very confident, outgoing, open and extremely friendly


Yeah that's me, I guess if a woman who usually experiences that type of vibe leading to being hit on from past experience they can only assume one thing. But with me they would be wrong.
edit on 9-8-2016 by Blue_Jay33 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:59 AM
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I can't speak for all women, but I used to do this. I'm pretty active on social media, and I get a lot of unwanted sexual pictures and messages. It's like the very first thing they do. Or i'll get a few nice normal seeming messages, and then if I politely say I'm not interested in meeting up or making a new friend, all of a sudden i'm a whore, and a bitch and what ever else. So I got used to telling any male that approached me that at the time, I was in a relationship, fairly soon into the conversation so that they didn't have any unrealistic expectations.

Then once I became more mature, I realized that:
1. not every man is like that (sending weird pics and messages and insults), and the ones that are have a lot of growing up to do.
2. Just because I THINK someone might expect something from me doesn't mean they do, or that even if they are expecting something, that I have to give them that.

Idk, other women might have different reasons. Even though I don't do it nearly as often, because its usually not necessary as I've discovered, some men really do just want to be your friend (or they are at least OK with just being your friend) or just want to have a conversation. Sometimes you have to profile. There are some guys who have seemed super friendly and polite, and the second they found out I was in a relationship they were never heard from again. SO SOMETIMES it can be a good way to weed out who is cool with just being your friend, and who only had one thing in mind.


But my advice is, dont take it personally. Some of us are even used to having stalkers, and so we just have to make it clear, some women just do it with all men.

It might be off putting or slightly annoying if it happens to you that often, but just brush it off, its nothing serious.

-Alee



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 07:59 AM
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I don't know.

Honestly, I may have been the world's most oblivious woman. I converse with people but I am horrible at reading their intent. Now I may talk about my husband, but if I do, it's because it's a natural thing for me to do, not because I am making any kind of move/counter-move type thing.

I think I've only ever once known I was actually being hit on, and that was a guy who was actually being sexually harassing. God only knows why, and I DID keep hitting over the head with my husband in conversation and he simply WOULD NOT take no for an answer.

Very uncomfortable morning of work.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 08:33 AM
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originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
The worst I saw was I guy double the girls age hitting on her, and she was like, "dude I have a boyfriend, and you are married with kids" And he was like "so what".

What a beast, some men are mongrel dogs that give the whole gender a bad rep.


.....and some women are catty bitches that give their whole gender a bad rep. There are bad people on both sides, here's a good example that my wife is dealing with.

Where she works both of her managers quit at the same time. They brought in someone else from another store to help run the place until they hire new management. This woman is rude and mean to the staff, especially my wife. She hires an assistant-manager who also was rude to my wife. For example she extended her hand in a greeting the first time they met, and the woman ignored her. Like I said, rude.

Turns out I know both of these women. I used to work with their replacement manager, and I've talked to/helped their new assistant-manager at previous jobs. When these women found out that she was my wife, their entire tune changed. They were nice to her, stopped being rude, and according to my wife, they also won't stop talking about how "hot" and "handsome" I am.

Point of this story?? That "mongrel dogs" are on both sides of the court, and that my wife needs a new job. lol



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 08:50 AM
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a reply to: Necrobile

Quiet, you! Are you unaware that the vast majority of heterosexual men are hormone-driven, sex-obsessed pigs that will pounce on the first available female they can get? The "my boyfriend/husband" line is merely a defence mechanism to protect women from men trying to get them into bed.

It couldn't possibly be that some women have such a high opinion of their physical attractiveness that they mistake friendly chatter for men always wanting to hit on them and get into their pants?



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 09:00 AM
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a reply to: Blue_Jay33

Short answer - one gets sick of "The Game".



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 09:05 AM
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originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
a reply to: TNMockingbird




very confident, outgoing, open and extremely friendly


Yeah that's me, I guess if a woman who usually experiences that type of vibe leading to being hit on from past experience they can only assume one thing. But with me they would be wrong.


That's probably it. I am not terribly good looking and I don't think I come off as flirtatious exactly- but I am just very open and truly care about people, and that comes through right away- people say they can see it my eyes, and it surprises them.
I think some people interpret that as overly familiar.....until they've seen me for a while and know I am like that with everyone.

But here's the thing- people who are like you recognize your natural friendly (non-amorous) intents and don't need to put up that defense. People who limit their care and openess to a very restrained circle of loved ones are more likely to misread your demeanor as sexual interest.



posted on Aug, 9 2016 @ 10:05 AM
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-It's just so much easier to wear a t-shirt that says 'Piss off, Not Interested.

No need for words at all







 
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