Why Do Females Feel The Need To Do This ?

a reply to: AmericanRealist

As a store owner and female retail sales associate I can promise you that professionalism and product knowledge closed a lot more sales than flirting. And if your customer is part of pa couple a girl flirting with the male will put an end to the transaction faster than a fire alarm.
And I find the way you use women a bit offensive. And the women letting themselves be used in this manner has me scratching my head.

originally posted by: Reverbs
a reply to: new_here

When a girl openly hits on me

Like tries to kiss me..

lol

it's not like oh by the way... I have a girlfriend..
Like maybe I'm on my phone texting her.

Haha, ok. But I have had a guy 'suspiciously' bring up wife/girlfriend in a way that made me re-examine how I came across.

originally posted by: Sillyolme
a reply to: AmericanRealist

As a store owner and female retail sales associate I can promise you that professionalism and product knowledge closed a lot more sales than flirting. And if your customer is part of pa couple a girl flirting with the male will put an end to the transaction faster than a fire alarm.
And I find the way you use women a bit offensive. And the women letting themselves be used in this manner has me scratching my head.

Well said. I got the same cringy feeling when I read it but couldn't find the words to say so. Me sleepy.

News to me.

If I get hit on, I usually don't mention my husband or if I'm married, I can handle myself and have enough self confidence to simply knock them back kindly, or if they are jerks they learn not to be pretty quickly

Mind you nowadays it happens few and far between...

originally posted by: new_here


Haha, ok. But I have had a guy 'suspiciously' bring up wife/girlfriend in a way that made me re-examine how I came across.

you are right. It's happened to me. Or I did that and then got the reaction..

and you were right about the embarrassment too.

But I err on that side having once given in...

It has to be clear at some point.

but for me it's usually "why are you smiling so much?"
oh my girl just texted me so sweet.

And And she's making me dinner oh yea..

If you're my girl everyone who matters knows it.

you guys matter to me sooo...

lol

I could see if I was asking for their number, or even asking do you have boyfriend/husband ?
There is none of that, but it's pretty pathetic when you are on the elevator and you say nice weather we are having and the woman answers, "yeah and my husband is picking me up for lunch." To me that means, "I don't want to talk to you at all." Actually it's a subtle way of being rude.
But I have to say ladies come on, help us out, keep that ring on, and then I know 100% you are off limits.
I have honor towards other mens wives, it's proper dignity and respect.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I have been told by many girls I have a very calming presence.
My energy.

So I don't hear it almost ever.

You probably have a more sexual vibe.

You can feel the energy in the air.

I instead get hi how are you? And then a giant hug.. Lately a deep 10 second hug..

obviously we both have our advantages and disadvantages..


LOL

a reply to: DAVID64

bro have you worked there? It can be dull in the mornings, and we like to have fun while striving for every penny to make our quarterly bonuses. Now maybe to most of the "professionals" and tradesmen, or college people an extra $400 a quarter is like "oh wow, I decided to buy a new smartphone cash" , but for the working family like myself and the rest of wal-mart staff the world over, that chump change was a windfall. Which makes me question why the eff are most of them so lazy. I gave it my all every day, just like I still do today for myself.

And its fun to work together to get props from the managers that'll have your back too for helping them clear inventory. Thats what us poor folk do to enjoy life. I don't miss the exploitation at all, but to be damned honest, it made some of the best friendships you could ever ask for. Oh thats why the always failing thats right, too many managers end up friends of the staff. I always used to complain about that, helluva catch .22


a reply to: Sillyolme

yea well, welcome to the human race of the real world. No apologies will be made.

I never do, but I've got a lot of kids and they're usually with me. Anyone crazy enough to hit on that needs medication. Perhaps more than one.



Even when I was younger and unattached I never did that or felt the need. I've always talked to people as people regardless of gender. And I generally considered flirting stupid. Still do. It gets on my nerves when people are fake in any way...chat about the weather excessively...things like that.

Each to their own though.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

You probably have a more sexual vibe.
You can feel the energy in the air.

Never thought of it that way, I once had a female co-worker ask me not to look at her a certain way and we were just talking like we had a dozen times before about work stuff, then 3 months later she asked me to move with her to a different city. And I never even gave my personal contact information or went on a single date just work interaction.
She wasn't my type, but she was attractive. And as far as I know she never had a boyfriend the whole time I worked with her, she seemed to be looking for one too. Besides I have always had a strict policy of not dating co-workers I have seen things get very messy for too many people over the years, even if the relationship lasts, there is always the favoritism angle you can get called out on from both sides.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

If I had to guess, I am going to say your eyes are close to that of your avatar?? In that spectrum anyways. Bout 5'10" - 6'2" , and you were an athlete in highschool, or perhaps shop??? ROTC?

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

STOP LOOKING AT THEIR BREASTS YOU AREN'T SNEAKY.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I dated a coworker for about 3o days before she beat me up and locked me out 2 stories on a balcony with no shirt/shoes/wallet/phone..
At my place.

I climbed down called the cops at my neighbors house and I looked so bad they instantly arrested her no questions except where did she hit you.

we worked together so I told my boss she got arrested.
they held her three days but instantly we were not allowed in the same areas. So....
She got fired.

could have been me or her or both of us..

while inside she destroyed the entire house and slammed her head into walls bruising herself.

she lied in court after going after me a sheriff at my house serving me a restraining order.. I'm like wtf?

but truth won in that one, but she lost her job.

Then the criminal assault case.

I recommended to the DA anger management. I thought that would help society better than jail time. The judges and DA were women. The first responding officer was a woman. She was like before anything. "in this state we take this seriously we don't blame the guy." I was surprised how equal and fair the courts were. It was my call the DA said she would go to jail automatically.


I don't recommend work relationships haha
because of all the court dates and money loss I lost my job
Not fun, but I've had worse.
Sweet hearted warrior.
Till I die.

a reply to: Aeshma

I suspect in his case, they will just smile back and ask him to help her get something thats in her eye.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I have to do this but it's for my safety, in addition to just being a preemptive disclosure. As a transwoman, some people can tell I have an interesting medical history for a woman and others have no clue. This means I get fun attention from straight men, bi men, bi women, and gay women (I happen to frequent some fun places, I guess).

Many of those people are interested in me for things they assume about my body, one way or another. This is why I quickly work into a friendlier-than-usual conversation that I am already seeing people and am "taken". At the very least, it slows down any interest but also opens up that dialog so they can find out more about me in case they had any misconceptions.

There are men out there who can be very dangerous to a woman like me if they get their fragile masculinity shattered by unknowingly hitting on a transwoman. It makes everyday socializing an anxiety-ridden territory if the person I'm speaking to looks in any way conservative.

So, that's why I work it into a conversation. And you know what? It's also why a lot of cis-gender women do it too. Safety.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I don't do it, but it seems I should.

You (the OP- sorry I haven't followed the rest of the discussion) sound like a normal guy. This is how I would expect normal men to be and think. It is why I am friendly and make no mention of my personal life and status when I first meet and chat with a man. I make no assumption of ulterior motive. People are friendly at first and attraction comes (or not) as they get to know the person better, right? Before then, there's no need to approach from that angle.

Wrong. Apparently, there are a whole lot of men that follow their instinct and appearences, gravitating towards women they don't know with the first motivation being sex. I hate feeding into that idea, which some men claim is a false stereotype about men! I still try not to look at each man I meet with that mold, but repeatedly, I have men misinterpret me to be flirting, or at least, as they say, not trying to discourage them (which apparently amounts to the same thing for them).

I have gotten myself into some very uncomfortable and even scary situations because of this misunderstanding. So often that I think I SHOULD wear a frigging sign on my forehead that says "I am happily married, in love, and loyal"....
but the only thing that stops me is my pride. I mean, it would be SO humiliating to make a big deal out of that right away, just to find out I was speaking to a guy like you, who actually WASN'T trying to get me in bed.

But then... I am in France, and I always wonder if that isn't a french thing? The Pepe Le Pew syndrome.....

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

Complicated...

They will say that immediately IF they are either...

attracted to you, and unavailable

Or

not interested in you in the least

Yet... some will withhold said information IF they want you, but are unavailable...

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
So almost anytime I meet a woman either professionally or causally, within the first three sentences they feel the need to somehow work into the conversation that they have a boyfriend or a husband,

Maybe you are standing too close!

Maybe women you meet feel that you are sending out (subliminal) signals that that they need to counter by clarifying their availbility. Try modifying your approach, or jsut accept it as a fact of life.

originally posted by: VegHead
It's a preemptive move ... It's meant to spare the guy hurt feelings or embarrassment. Let him know you aren't available romantically right off the bat.

My husband tells me I'm really good at this particular social move.

Thank you for doing it and thank you for being good at it.

A bloke appreciates this and it does not go unnoticed. Unfortunately, the problem you have is that this in itself makes you desirable. cant win can you?

I don't do that, but if a guy is making me feel like he is trying to show interest I will talk about my husband very casually.