originally posted by: SomeDumbBroad
I have never felt a whole lot about the subject of death and I was just wondering if anyone else struggles with this problem?
I remember the 1st time I felt uncomfortable about the way I acted when I was a child. My great-grandparents (whom I visited often as a child) passed
when I was 10 or so and I remember being confused by why everyone was so sad. They were dead, they clearly felt no pain so why did anyone else feel
pain? I was thoroughly perplexed. Several older family members passed and I still felt nothing.
-- snip --
The only reason I "snipped" was to save space. In no way is the rest of what you posted dismissed by me.
I realized later that I'd partially misunderstood before I first replied. That is the reason I am revisiting this discussion.
My hope is that I can possibly help with your concerns.
It can be a transformational moment when one internalizes the fact that self-doubt is almost completely the result of external influences that begin
in childhood and are continually reinforced as we mature.
Please don't misunderstand... This isn't meant to say that self-reflection is a Bad
thing. For years I've tried to source a quote I'd
read and the closest I've come is L. Ron Hubbard. I am positive that he was paraphrasing (& plagiarizing) someone else. The original is, "Only a
madman has never doubted his sanity." My gut feeling is that is was Voltaire, but I've never found it in any compilations of his insights.
Unless one finds death & suffering entertaining and enjoyable, worry about what is "normal" shouldn't be something to dwell on.
Just as each of us is a unique individual, each of us will cope with grief and mourning in our own way. Sometimes the behavior of family and friends
at a funeral is misunderstood because of medication from their doctor to help get through what can sometimes become a marathon of family and friends
and acquaintances that they feel compelled to attend from beginning to end (or as close as they are physically and emotionally capable of doing). What
they go through when they are facing reality at home and alone would be something nobody was aware of.
Someone like me has a reaction much like yours to the passing of your great-grandparents. When you hold someone and your memories of them in your
heart, in a very real way, they're not completely gone.
"Awareness" for lack of a better word, isn't necessarily a gift (especially for a small child). The first time I realized that "nobody here gets out
alive" was an evening when Mom & Dad were having Bible studies with a young missionary couple. I was barely 2 years old...
So... Just a thought from an old man who cares. Regarding your OP? Don't dwell on what is "Normal" and have faith that in those times (and they
come) you will do what is Natural.
All my best,