Lying: Where do you draw the line?

originally posted by: daskakik

originally posted by: Abysha
I think being a decent human is more important than brutal honesty.

You don't have to be brutal to be honest. That is were constructive criticism comes in. You don't tell someone they look like garbage, you tell them why that haircut, shirt or whatever doesn't fit them and maybe offer some alternatives.

YES!

for instance the reason my ex is talking to me now much more (one of my exes) is that she is trying to get a business going.
I'm telling her at every angle where she needs improvement and why, and where she is strong and keep that.
No fluff is allowed, but it's not mean at all. People actually smile when I tell them.

My old boss got a short hair cut, and shes a woman. I didn't like it, and she was asking around obviously nervous about it. I looked at her, and she was like "I'm not even going to ask yu you don't like it."
Nope I don't it makes you look goofy, but I love you anyway.

I say my true opinion. I could be wrong, but it is always truth (based on my perception) coming from me.
people love that.

originally posted by: Tindalos2013
a reply to: Profusion

I think there is no such thing as 'truth'. There are only varying levels of deception.

That is a deception/lie. There are objective measurement that is regardless of people deviating from it.

An all spanning measurement on all levels would even include data on the subjective view and the deviation each subjective view have from it.

originally posted by: daskakik

originally posted by: Abysha
I think being a decent human is more important than brutal honesty.

You don't have to be brutal to be honest. That is were constructive criticism comes in. You don't tell someone they look like garbage, you tell them why that haircut, shirt or whatever doesn't fit them and maybe offer some alternatives.

And maybe add other qualities that are positive.

originally posted by: Profusion

There are two verses in the Bible that refer to everyone being a liar.

Psalm 116:11
in my alarm I said, "Everyone is a liar."

Romans 3:4
Not at all! Let God be true, and every human being a liar. As it is written: "So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge."

Human beings are liars because they use words - and no word speaks the truth. The word water will never quench your thirst!

Words and ideas define (draw a line around) that which cannot be described truthfully. No concept is true.

a reply to: Itisnowagain

Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, all but one religion (only 1 can be right and i don't think any are) so yes almost everybody lies to themselves first and foremost then to their children.

So lying to friends, acquaintances or strangers would be that much easier.

Many jobs in retail, sales and especially PR and Marketing are built on lying to the potential customer or at least hiding relevant info.

lying is a good thing, it's how you become president of the mightiest nation on earth.

a reply to: johnb

Is the word 'water' water? The actual experience of water is not a word - it is simply a symbol, a word.
The truth is hidden in plain sight - sight being the plain act of seeing.

What is said to be 'all seeing'?

It is a lie that there is anything separate!

Is there a 'you' separate from what is being seen and heard?

Humans use words and then believe the stories words tell. No story is true because there is a presupposing of something which is not.

originally posted by: daskakik

originally posted by: Abysha
I think being a decent human is more important than brutal honesty.

You don't have to be brutal to be honest. That is were constructive criticism comes in. You don't tell someone they look like garbage, you tell them why that haircut, shirt or whatever doesn't fit them and maybe offer some alternatives.

Yes but I always position that so I don't sound like a bitch. For example, "You look great but do you want to know what would make you look even more awesome?"

Tactful constructive criticism doesn't require brutal honesty at all.

i dont have a line.
i really try not to lie at all. not to anyone. not white lies. does not always work though.
i try not to lie but not for moral reasons. my moral compass is in the tank. might not even have one anymore.
i try not to lie on principle. im an adult and i dont think i should have to lie.

if i get asked about someones hair and i think it looks like ass i will tell them.

having said i try not to lie....do i lie? oh yeah
no real specific examples but i do.

originally posted by: Profusion
I

I saw one of my colleagues in a shopping center. She had just got her hair cut, and she asked me for my opinion of her hair. I think she's not attractive, and her hair could never help. But, I told her she looked great.

Is there anyone in the world who would do otherwise?

I would do otherwise. I am very well known for speaking my mind and telling it how it is. I have done it throughout my life.

My mother used to come and ask me how she looked every time she went out with my dad to a ball or social function. She started doing this when I was around 7 years old and has done it ever since. Needless to say she always got a frank response. If I thought she did not look nice , I would just say so. If she looked good , I would say so. She never asked my sisters for their opinion. I know that she has always treasured my opinion and I always sensed the joy within her when she looked good and I said so.

In the last few months, I have told a few female friends that their new hair colour did not suit them; or their clothes. I alway think that I am helping whenever I give my opinion (wheter good or not)

I do not agree with your view that police officers are justified when they lie to get a conviction.

During my life, I have suferred for my frankness but will never give it up. It has been a running joke in my family that I cannot lie. My parent have always been keen to spread the news to all their friends and aquaintances . I suppose they were proud.

Even at work , some of the bosses have figured out my mentality. If they think that they are being misled by a manager or fellow-director, they'll just turn to me and ask a straight question for which they will get a straight answer to the embarassment of one or two people.

I have embarassed a lot of people by telling the truth. It is not my fault that they tell lies to impress others. I have no way of knowing what lies they have been telling.

originally posted by: Abysha
Tactful constructive criticism doesn't require brutal honesty at all.

That was my point but, it requires honesty.

a reply to: Profusion

Being honest and truthful might seem noble, but truth is often painful and difficult to accept. One should exercise caution before speaking honestly or truthfully as doing so can lead to much pain and heartache for the recipient.

A lie spoken with good intentions is better than truth spoken with contempt.

As for your police example: I believe it is a case of asking whether the ends justify the means: can one justify using lies to uncover truth?