posted on Aug, 5 2016 @ 10:26 AM
After a long break from ATS and an attempt to leave the conspiracy world behind me(which failed miserably)
i'm back to my old habitat.
Here's what happened.
A while ago, i decided that i wanted to be "normal". No more conspiracies, aliens, strange dreams. I decided that i had to "grow up" and become
like the people around me. Be part of the society. Go back to the Matrix.
The first step was to quit ATS. I got to keep my nerdy habits(coz that's cool now) and with the guidance of a "friend" i started my journey into
the society norms. First thing i started a facebook account. Wasn't long before my friend list started growing. I accepted almost all friend requests
and i blocked them soon after. Humans are weird and creepy. I was getting messages from people, who were not my friends, that they wanted to meet me
and go out with me. I had someone stalking me online. My friend list included some of my favorite musicians that now i came to detest, because they
are terrible people. I could rant for hours about fb, but i have to admit that i met 3-4 really nice people that i wouldn't have otherwise.
I'm telling you guys, facebook is a f*****d up place.
Anyways i was in a relationship, i was going out every weekend, i got to hung out with the "cool" people, i was involved in some special
events(making videos and being in the tech support). People wanted to be around me and i started working for a music magazine.
How cool! Right?
It wasn't long before my depression came back. It came to a point that i quit my job, neglected my health and i rarely left the house. I'm fighting
with my demons right now and i try to get my life back on track. I was trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I had everything. And then it hit
me(in the head...with a shovel)
This life is not for me. I cannot pretend that after seeing a strange dream, that it was just my subconscious. I cannot pretend that seeing a blinking
light in the sky, although i know it's a plane, it doesn't make my heart go a bit faster for a moment. I was happy here. In our little doom and
I missed you all and this time i'm here to stay.