posted on Jan, 24 2005 @ 08:29 PM
Well, I'm sorry to say y'all just gained the chance to read my ADD story. Or ADHD. Or whatever they're calling it today.
I had been on amphetamines since I was about 8 years old to treat my ADD. I will tell you flat out, I was one of those who needed the meds, I
legitimately have ADD. However, I believe most people on Ritalin, Dexadrine, or any of the other amphetamines (I think crystal meth is available OTC
as long as you're under 15 years old...) they give ADD kids don't need them. The parents have that hippy idea of "let your children become who they
want to be without dicipline" and then sure enough, who'd have thunk, the kid is a nightmare and won't listen to mom and dad. The rod of
correction...(though I don't think I'd use an actual rod with my kids, be I blessed enough to have them. I would use words, though, which can be
quite a bit more painful than any rod I've ever been hit with (...yes, there have been several))
Anyway, I was on meds since I was about 8. I started on this little pastel purple pill (no clue what it was), and then moved onto a dark purple and
hot pink capsul before I was moved to 1 40mg sr Ritalin in the morning, followed by 2 20mg regular release Ritalin, one at lunch and one after school.
For anyone who has followed the development of ADD, you'll probably recognise the name of my shrink, Dr. Mortimear (sp) Gross (heck, you can
probably place me within 15 miles if you know the hospital he works at).
I also had weekly sessions with a psycologist (FAR cheaper than a psychiatrist) for about 8 years. That guy sucked, though, because I never opened up
to him. I would blame myself except that I was a kid not looking for help and he was a child psychologist specializing in troubled teens.
So essensially, I was on my own to combat my ADD. I could either take the drugs or not take the drugs. However, whenever I didn't take the drugs, my
parents knew. It was terribly obvious. To give you an idea, I couldn't play a video game through a level without switching to another, and usually
that was after throwing the controller at the console (I remember breaking my SNES this way), picking up and throwing the couch, or other such acts of
violence for not getting my way in the video game.
I'm a dork. You may have noticed this from my posts if you've been here for a while. I'm a science wonk, and I love Star Trek. My favorite debate
topic besides theology is any branch of science, specifically physics. I am an uber dork. However, I was raised by a dyslexic jock father who fought
with anyone who made fun of his reading disability (back in the day before anyone knew what dyslexia was). He tought me how to deal with those who
didn't appreciate my dorkdum. And boy did I ever...Typically, every year of school from 5th grade until my freshman year, I had to fight every bully
in school once. When they found out I fought back, and well, they left me alone until they found out I defended my dork friends, too. (For those of
you wondering why the heck I'm going in this direction, this is a VERY common symptom for people with ADD.)
My freshman year changed my whole life, though. At my highschool, the freshmen had their own building, but would occasionally have to commute to the
other building to take some elective classes. I was taking electronics, and had to commute for the last period of the day my second simester. There
was this psychotic little # (sorry, there is no other way to put this. This is a second degree black belt kid who would like to go around and hit us
dorks in points of pain because everyone, including me, was afraid to make a move on him) who was behind me, though I didn't know it. A week before,
he had nailed my friend Robert behind the ear with a finger strike, and went to do it to me when I looked him in the eye and said, "If you ever do
that to me, I'm going to kick your ass." This was one of the rules my dad tought me; I wasn't allowed to throw a punch until an ultimatum was
established. He laughed, but didn't do it to me. He walked away. That should have sent warning lights and buzzers off all over my mind, but I was
Well, this Jason dude came up to me, who was one of the last kids commuting, and jacked me behind the ear. DANG DID THAT HURT! Long story short, I
turned around, punched him in the face, realized I was going to die, and laid him out hands down. Changed my entire world. This was someone who was
recognised by most as someone you don't mess with or he'll kill you. I just beat the crap out of him, and the whole time he was bending my fingers
back trying to break them. He had no idea how to fight.
Again, yes, this does have a point and is related to an ADD cure.
My whole perspective on life changed. All Jason had to do was intimidate people to make them afraid to fight him. He couldn't fight, but people
thought he could, and that was all that really mattered. My whole personality shifted that day, and I started learning how to be intimidating.
I learned a lot, I have to day. There have been a couple of occasions walking to someone's house in Chicago where I've been accosted by several
fellahs who want my wallet. I've also been mugged on the subway before. All 3 situations ended up with me walking away, the other guys walking away
saying , "F... You!", and me keeping my wallet, no punches thrown.
So what the heck does this have to do with ADD? Well, here's where I pull the two threads together and make a rope. After finding that a simple
mental shift could so dramatically change my world, I did the same with the ADD. I hated those pills. Amphetamines are the worst thing in the world,
in my opinion. Y'all know me, I'm extremely outspoken. Yet when I was on Ritalin and moreso when I was on dexadrine, I never spoke. I had very few
friends. The only ones I had I made in 5th grade through someone I got into a debate with on the bus about which was hotter, Mercury or Venus. I was
right, but my new found friend didn't believe it until we asked our science teacher which was warmer. HAHA JERRY! Just because it's closer doesn't
make it hotter! Sorry. The pills really sucked. Plus, I still didn't do my homework.
It was thanks to that fight with Jason that I started taking fewer and fewer of those pills, and when I did, I kept removing more and more of the
poweder (dexadrine is a capsule with a power in the middle) so I could learn the mentality on the pill. Slowly I extracted the aspects of my
personality I liked on the pills (and my parents liked) and applied them to my life. By my junior year, my parents had no idea when I didn't take the
So really really long story caped with a small anecdote, ADD does exist. Had I never had those pills, I would probably be unemployed or working at
something I hate. Yet, I hate those pills. They were my bane, and they were my salvation. Now, here I am, 26 years old, 12 years since I threw my last
punch in anger (started taking martial arts when I convinced a rugby team (well, 5 memebrs) not to screw with me...Realized I should probably have the
skill to back up my confidence )
As for the screwed up youth in America, I tie it precisely with the complete removal of any religious reference back in the 60s and 70s. There used to
be something taught in schools saying there was a greater good. Now there is no good, everything can be justified. When there is no difference between
good and bad in the eyes of someone, they call them a psychopath. Yet that is exactly what we are teaching our kids in school. And y'all are shocked
we're raising a bunch of psychopaths?