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'Friendship' based on lies?

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posted on Jul, 25 2016 @ 10:40 PM
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I understand that some people may be giving 100% wrong personal information when they try to make 'friends' online. What's the point?

Is their plan to tell their 'friend' at some point, "Sorry for lying to you the whole time. I'm a famous/rich/important person, so I'm sure you'll accept my prior misconduct."

What do you think of that? What would you do in such a situation?

I don't believe friendship can be based on lies. Lies destroy the foundation of friendship.

I'm of the opinion that only a sellout would accept the deal with the devil emboldened above. I'm not a sellout.




posted on Jul, 25 2016 @ 11:07 PM
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a reply to: Profusion

Bob Marley once quoted;




In an interview, with reference to his fame, he was once asked, “Are you a rich man, do you have a lot of possessions?” He replied, “I don’t have that kind of richness, my richness is life”.




posted on Jul, 25 2016 @ 11:11 PM
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a reply to: Profusion

A rich, famous, important person lied to you about NOT being any of those things?

Wow, usually it's the other way around. I say become part of the entourage and start rubbing some rich, famous, important shoulders.



posted on Jul, 25 2016 @ 11:24 PM
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a reply to: tikbalang

Thanks for reminding me to re-purchase an album of his. I had forgotten to do that so



posted on Jul, 25 2016 @ 11:31 PM
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a reply to: Profusion

Well I guess this would all depend on how much they misrepresented themselves to you.

Your ability/level to/of forgive/ness.

I mean for me if they only lied about their name and bank account... not a big deal.

I guess it would also depend on the said past misdeeds.



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 12:06 AM
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why are people so mean?...someone was being mean or jealous... for no good reason... you can rise above the fruitless insults or maybe you wrote this thread OP, hypothetically... or about your friend...
I got insulted just yesterday... and hag b$#%% the heck out of some woman hiding behind her trees and stuff... she tried to mess with my cat in the past so in'm going to call her a sell out... her kids are crazy too.
Its okay just defend your honor, man... as long as you keep it non-violent.
Your too smart for stupid insults..
Hope your story here goes okay.
Can you define a sell out?... or not, take care, friend.



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 01:29 AM
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Guilty??

Some are just how they are all the time. Why make it difficult?

Ignore them and still be you! Or get caught up in their shizzle and drown.



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 05:11 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Well hell.... Who knows?

To be honest, I have never had someone lie to me about something positive in their lives. Most people are either full of bravado about their success, or simply do not refer to it out of humility. Frankly, the whole situation you are talking about is one with which I am utterly unfamiliar.

That being said, I can well imagine that some people who have come across fame, fortune or a significance on the world stage in some other respect, may have troubles pertaining to those things that you and I, being regular folk with a different set of problems, might not immediately be able to accept as even BEING problems. It is perhaps worth mentioning, that forming genuine friendships when one has significant material resources at ones disposal, can be quite difficult, because of trust. All it takes is for one person to take liberties with ones time and money, and I can well imagine that could colour a persons ability to reach out and actually be honest themselves, about who they are when dealing with others, fearing being used.

Of course, I do not know what these things are like, because I have never been flush with cash, famous, or ever had any importance what so ever, save for within my social circles of course.

It might be that this person you are mysteriously referring to, has been messed around by people before, who made out to be their friends, but were actually seeking some sort of experiential or financial benefit from the relationship, rather than genuine friendship... while it is pretty low that they would assume that of you, based on the actions of someone else, it is also a totally common response, one which they may not necessarily have any control over.

Both women and men who have been hurt by their exes, can have a tendency to treat their next significant other as if they will automatically do the very same thing that their ex did. It is not necessarily their fault that they do this, since they did not hurt themselves and cause their own neuroses. This could be a state of psychology that they have been placed in by others, so please do not be too put out. Try and see the world through eyes other than your own.



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 10:57 AM
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I think it's wanting actual genuine friends... very hard to come by when people want to be friends for intentions other than friends, like stand in someones shadow... no one wants crap like that going on unless they are full of themselves they dont care who is around them and like the attention and all that bleh.

Some people want genuine friends that are not fake, that like the image or their characters and confuse the two.

Difficult business... it's hard to know, it's easy to end up alienated all Howard Hughes like hermit-ed up, because people have constant expectations, to where they try to force you to fit those roles instead of being yourself... but they don't care about who you are they are after who and what they want.

It becomes easier to just be alone, spend time researching hobbies and interests... and if you're lucky run across someone that shares the same interests, that isn't going to be all weird and can just be natural about who they are instead of contrived.

Many celebrities have to have that whole Disney persona of safe for ages Y-7 even if they live a MA life... that public PC fake nonsense, because you may not reflect the image your sponsors or slave owners by contract want you to have because it reflects back bad on the parent corporation.

That's selling the soul in my opinion... losing your voice, and the trade off is woo dollars, but if you want to be an adult youve got to watch your back, because some backstabbing sack of dook will be happy to sell them out or send them up the river for a tabloid photo that shows the side of reality and not the fake fantasy that a parent corporation wants as an image.

It's like uniforms and conformity when that happens, can't ever be yourself again cause someone is gonna become an adult tattle tale in that whole fake moral pander... yet it forces people to wear a mask, where they cant be real.

So of course, OP some people are going to screen friends... free country my ass, free to be judged up and down free to be enslaved to parent corporations and contracts, free to play pretend... free to get your ass handed to you as soon as you're caught just being yourself.

Yeah... it's like that that, yet no body knows it's like that until you've sold your soul and didn't know thats what you were doing. Signed away the voice remember? If you ever want work again you keep the lips sealed up too.

Is it any wonder when we see some people lose their sh-t or actually are seen as real from time to time? Like Lohan or Spears did... whats public gonna do? Judge them for being human beings and not some fake plastic piece of garbage bought and sold to pose as you want in your own mind.

Welcome to being a public figure. Where the duality persists and heaven and hell are made to be very real... believe in it or not.



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 05:52 PM
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There's a certain limit..for example a guy may lie to a girl about certain things to get her to be with him.
If the lies are minor, okay I guess. but major (such as denying criminal activities?) then no



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 11:07 PM
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originally posted by: peppycat
Can you define a sell out?... or not, take care, friend.



sellout

an occurrence in which you do something that does not agree with your beliefs, values, etc., especially in order to make money

LINK


I like that definition. What do you think?


originally posted by: thesungod
I mean for me if they only lied about their name and bank account... not a big deal.


How about making up an entirely fake past that's meant to lead the other person down a rabbit hole that goes nowhere?


originally posted by: TrueBrit
Try and see the world through eyes other than your own.


I'm referring to a hypothetical situation.

I understand what you wrote above. However, I think you side-stepped the main issue I was trying to bring up in the original post:

How can a friendship exist that's based on lies?

Friendship requires trust to make it work. Basing a 'friendship' on lies destroys the foundation of what the entire basis of the thing is predicated upon.

I see it like trying to construct a building while setting fire to it every night while it's under construction. It's beyond a "fool's errand", it's quite insane.


originally posted by: BigBrotherDarkness
I think it's wanting actual genuine friends... very hard to come by when people want to be friends for intentions other than friends, like stand in someones shadow... no one wants crap like that going on unless they are full of themselves they dont care who is around them and like the attention and all that bleh.


The solution to attaining 'actual friends' is lying to those 'friends'?

Why can't anyone else see how dumb and counter-productive that strategy is?
edit on 26-7-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 11:25 PM
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a reply to: Profusion I think it is a good definition and good to teach people and children not to do things they don't want to do for money... sadly there are so many poor influenced and bad role models confusing the masses...or not, perhaps...i do question reality when young folks mimic styles and possibly behaviors from the entertainment industry.
Thanks for the definition...everyone I know considers being a sell out as really good songs winding up on a commercial... for money? I don't know it is good to experience many different work and creative skills to have something to fall back on...if persons or children strive for fame and recognition or trust in life... everyone has there own will... and paths in life...whatever brings one to self knowing and or enlightenment and true happiness in Unity, then that's good.
Blah blah blah, sorry in'm being a wind bag.




posted on Jul, 26 2016 @ 11:28 PM
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I personally wouldn't have an issue with it. I think people hope to maintain a small measure of privacy on-line (yes, I know what you are thinking.) Plus everyone has aspects of their lives they would rather not reveal to just anyone they haven't had a chance to learn to trust.

Especially a celebrity. Sure celebrities have their public persona, but they need a private persona as well for sanity sakes. I would hate being famous for this very reason. No amount of money would be worth it to me to have to maintain that perfect public persona 24/7. Famous people are judged far more harshly than the average person for just being themselves and grunging out in sweats or discussing their personal feelings. If I go for a junk food run without makeup, I am not going to end up on a tabloid cover accusing me of letting myself go. If I air an issue I am having with my husband to my friend, I don't have to fear that the next magazine cover I see will declare my marriage to be in turmoil and on the brink of divorce.

As far as Profusions statement goes, I think you also need to ask yourself whether the person had intended on developing the level of friendship you ended up having with the person. I didn't come to ATS with the purpose of making friends in mind, I came to ATS to discuss ideas. Friendships were an unintended byproduct.

As far as your friendship goes, now that you know the truth, consider it to be the start of a new friendship and lay the foundation from there.



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 12:04 AM
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a reply to: peppycat

I believe people can sellout in any way one can imagine. For instance, staying with an abusive spouse just for money/luxury could be selling out.

Choosing a career just for money could be selling out. Choosing a particular job just for money could be selling out.

I suppose it depends on each person's definition of what selling out is.


originally posted by: calstorm
As far as your friendship goes, now that you know the truth, consider it to be the start of a new friendship and lay the foundation from there.


I don't know the truth. I'm speculating here. I have one supposed picture that this person gave me (that's admittedly many years old), and I have some clues as to what this person looks like that they kept repeating many times.

This person recommended a video to me of who I actually think they may be. I never would have known otherwise. So, I started looking at pictures of the famous person, and I noticed something odd...

There's a very significant biometric indicator that matches the picture I got and the famous person.

Assuming that the picture is 20-30 years old or so, it's exactly what I would expect the famous person to have looked like then. The probability of all of these indicators matching is about 0% UNLESS this person is trying to make me believe that they're the famous person when they're not.

In the end, all of that is moot because I have no intention of ever communicating with that huge liar again.
edit on 27-7-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 12:36 AM
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a reply to: Profusion


originally posted by: Profusion

How about making up an entirely fake past that's meant to lead the other person down a rabbit hole that goes nowhere?


Interesting. I guess that wouldn't be okay for me. That said I don't really "check up" on people, just facts. I mean I catch people lying about being in the military all the time. They usually just run. They don't confess to it.

Highly interesting moral delimma to contemplate.



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 01:06 AM
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originally posted by: thesungod
Interesting. I guess that wouldn't be okay for me. That said I don't really "check up" on people, just facts. I mean I catch people lying about being in the military all the time. They usually just run. They don't confess to it.

Highly interesting moral delimma to contemplate.


This person seriously discussed the possibility of marrying me. They also said multiple times, "What if I were rich, would that change things?" They said it as if it were a fact every time. It gave me the feeling that it was a fact. If this person is the famous person I think they may be, they are extremely rich.

Where's the moral dilemma exactly?

Is knowing that they're rich going to change anything when I know that they're such a huge liar?

That's not a moral dilemma to me. That's a question of selling out.

To me, it's a question of...will I sellout or not?

I don't see any moral dilemma here. Would you elaborate please?
edit on 27-7-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 01:27 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Not your specific situation, the in general situation. It is moral dilemma that is interesting for ME to contemplate.The confessing aspect without prompting.

Make sense?

Now. Since you have laid out the situation in full to me, this would not jive for me. I would not be okay with it.



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 02:30 AM
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a reply to: Profusion Thank you, that information changes my position quite a bit. I was under the impression that it was a clear cut and dry reveal and that they were no longer skirting around the issue.



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 03:49 AM
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a reply to: Profusion then there must be different degrees of selling out for whatever one considers familiar and at home... depending on what patterns and or habitual natures passed through family ties and cords that are in the very cells and DNA of folks... of course and the mind..it all depends on self realization in self discovery and sticking up for ones self or not...and realizing free will or safety exists and people want to help or intimidate...I still believe that the world is a kaleidoscope and you may not recognized yourself complete and whole in the reflection of another human, but with compassion either see how one can make a difference and or relate on even a minute level.
Speaking of violence or abusive natures within a union of relationship.
Choosing to earn a living is necessary to take care and feed, shelter, clothe and water oneself in order to have energy enough to do good works in helping others...or simply survive to exist and be happy one is alive able to appreciate the glory of this beautiful planet.
A hostile work environment is not worth the money, in my opinion...there are resources to help a person find good steady work...it's best to let go of fear and worries when life gets in the way of living.
The houseless folks I know have made it their choice to find comfort in nature. The support in charity is not an evil act and they shouldn't be looked down upon when they got out of the hierarchy of mean and rude trickling down system of many working environments... abusive natures of environments other than local, mom and pop shops and grocers... swap meets, fair trade markets situations.
Personally, I have no fear in Christ, Jesus...and my prayers have been answered in the past over such matters...he keeps my soul at ease and there is no selling out when he is in charge...you just move on and find comfort in knowing he cares.
Trying to think of correct word... will take days for my mind to recall it.



posted on Jul, 27 2016 @ 04:40 AM
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originally posted by: peppycat
Personally, I have no fear in Christ, Jesus...and my prayers have been answered in the past over such matters...he keeps my soul at ease and there is no selling out when he is in charge...you just move on and find comfort in knowing he cares.
Trying to think of correct word... will take days for my mind to recall it.


Do any of the words listed below help jog your memory?

Synonyms for security

aegis (also egis), ammunition, armor, buckler, cover, guard, protection, safeguard, screen, defense, shield, wall, ward

Related words for security

arm, armament, munitions, weapon, weaponry; fastness, fort, fortress, palisade, stronghold

Synonyms for protect

bulwark, cover, fence, fend, forfend, guard, keep, defend, safeguard, screen, secure, shield, ward

Related words for protect

avert, prevent; oppose, resist, withstand; battle, contend, fight, war; conserve, preserve, save; buffer, palisade, picket, wall


originally posted by: thesungod
Since you have laid out the situation in full to me, this would not jive for me. I would not be okay with it.


This thread is fascinating to me because I may be completely wrong. My guess is that the picture of the famous person was used by the person I was chatting with (although it isn't really them). They also used the first name of the famous person claiming that it was their real name...other things matched that almost couldn't be faked in my opinion...

I don't know what to make of this situation at all.


originally posted by: calstorm
a reply to: Profusion Thank you, that information changes my position quite a bit. I was under the impression that it was a clear cut and dry reveal and that they were no longer skirting around the issue.



It sounds like you believe that this person is really the famous person. Is that what your intuition is telling you?

I feel like I'm living in a Twilight Zone episode personally. I've hardly ever been so confused about anything in my life.
edit on 27-7-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)




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