Is Flirtatious Texting or Sexting Cheating?

originally posted by: Profusion


You've proven that everyone in this thread who says that flirtatious texting or sexting is absolutely cheating is being ethnocentric against French culture.

Since you've had the opportunity to read my phrase three times now, perhaps you can explain how you come to that conclusion, considering I said the french culture considers sexting or flirtatious texting as cheating, exactly the same as Americans?

(and your idea of how something is "proven" is quite curious... )



We researched the swinging lifestyle for a while, considering it, and I had a lot of discussions with both french and american swingers and found their common practices or preferences differed greatly.

The Americans would commonly get to know others before they had sex- they would have a party and people would chat before having sex; couples would have repeated "dates" with other couples they knew; they would do "wife swapping" in which the two partners in the relationship would be in separate rooms, or even houses, with others- sometimes for a whole weekend!

The french however, do not chat beforehand. They figure it is a bad idea to know names, to know anything at all about the other sexual partners, to do it with the same ones repeatedly. They like the black rooms where you don't see the face of others, masks, or meetings with strangers in which no conversation preludes the acts. The couples just about NEVER leave each others' sight- everything is done within view of each other.
They consider it very important to see it as sex for sport and not skirt close to getting to know each other at all, which might risk emotional attachments and threaten the relationship.

The french culture may seem to be more open physically, but emotionally, they keep their heart (and their relationships ) locked up tight.

The Americans do the opposite- we largely seem physically sexually repressed , but our emotions and mind are less closed, which could make us a bit more vulnerable in things like verbal or written flirting.

a reply to: Profusion

Cool...

I'm an easy going sort... but when people are intentionally hurting others, my wrathful will indeed show. It's balance though, as I'm peaceful and treat everyone I meet with kindness... unless they are the sort that hurt others intentionally.

I don't surround myself with idiots of that sort though, to me they are animals in human form or basically hell beings... that facade sociopathic sort gets my ire up more than any other. Simply because they are lower than dirt in their intentions and yet try to be above others in control and have power over others.

Worst of the worst in my opinion.

I often speak of liberation beyond the nature of the world of duality, so people can escape that garbage for better... as being reborn into such nonsense as this over and over when the solution is easy... yet that sickness is intentionally perpetuated over and over? Holding others in slavery and bondage life after life, people in ignorance over and over.

This is why gods mean nothing in the path of liberation... sure you can pray to them hope you make it a little better in the next incarnation from that fealty yet, slavery to belief is still slavery to the wheel of becoming.

Im not a moralist, I'm an ethical sort... your body is your right to do with whatever you want to do with as your vehicle through life... but the utmost respect for others and their right to do the same with theirs. Requires 100% honesty when people come together in a consensual nature.

I really dont care if people agree with this or not... you've got a form that carries you for a very long time, it has a vault filled with thoughts and feelings and experiences... you may hold valuable or torturous. Those violating others, making experiences horrible... making life a living hell for sometimes years perhaps their whole lifetimes... absolute hell and torture, for a few fleeting moments of selfish pleasure?

Yeah I cant get behind such atrocities... rape etc creates the walking dead of zombies, it kills people on the inside.

If someone cannot be honest, and upfront with intentions... it's not cute, it's predatory and fake.

All this alpha, beta nonsense, is stemmed from that men are dogs and women are bitches, nonsense of programming. Human beings not dogs... if someone has this whole alpha/beta nonsense mentality, they are brainwashed idiots.

Equanimity doesn't play those mind games, pull strings of peoples programming... it cuts them loose sets them free.

Thats the job of those truly awakened, one can never be chained or programmed again... empathy sets free it is a labor of love. Hate and greed bind, the hateful often use peoples needs or wants against them.

So be careful out there, be smart, and be safe.

Why should you do this in a relationship? I mean love and partnership is between two persons. I don't need other ppl to sexting or flirt with.i can do it with my partner. .. so i think no.

a reply to: TrueBrit

Swinging to me is two people sexually bored with each other and are so connected in co-dependence they consent to look outside of the union... not a fan of that myself knowing intimacy and time spent doing things together is just as satisfying.

So, is flirtatious texting cheating or not? Is sexting cheating or not?

Yes! I would not disrespect my partner with such ignorant actions UNLESS she OK's it. Just ask you partner how she/he feels about this texting/sexting. IMO, it's mental cheating and damages the love, respect and TRUST between partners.

Is pornography okay or not? Does it depend on what it is or does that matter?

I got into some porn when my sex drive slowed down to see if I could rev myself up and also learn a few new and improved moves. I did learn a lot but did not tell my wife I was watching porn to get "better" at my game. I could see that watching porn hurt her feelings and I loved her (she passed away) too much to hurt her so I stopped or reduced my porn interests for her sake. IMO, respecting my partner is all that matters otherwise I'd just stay single and watch all the porn I want!

Do you want a partner who is okay with your wants and needs, no matter how far out there it may seem or do you need a partner who understands you might need to look elsewhere to fulfill some of your needs?

I want and had a partner who I can respect and love. We must both be willing to allow each other to do whatever seems right for BOTH of us which might include: fulfilling so called needs outside of our union but I wouldn't want that.

If you think that anything short of flesh to flesh sex is not cheating, that can be construed as a reasonable conclusion. If you think that even a small amount of flirtation through text is cheating, that is also a reasonable conclusion. Some readers may ask how both can be reasonable conclusions. The answer is that it's what you can live with.

I agree and both partners need to agree on what they can and will "live with" and even be willing to change if needed.