Days of my life

Most people have a schedule in which daily events occur. My houshold misplaced thiers. The days rolls by and nobody knows if dinner will be cooked or bought at a fast food drive thru. Bedtime has evolved into oh whenever your ready hit the hay bag. Nobody does chores and the dogs have started scratching the refridgerator demanding better food. Its a place of total brain loss.
And no it was'nt the tv. Maybe the video games and computer. At the beginning of my day I sit and try to have a few minutes for just me....this never works out. Somebody needs a butt wiped, a pill, or can't find something I prolly threw away last year.The phone rings, somebody knocks on the door, and I come running fast as I can just to step in doggie doo on the front door mat. Its usually a dang bill collector that was just about to leave a disconnect notice on the door. I return to the phone just to hear its a telemarketer that needs my bank account number because I have been preapproved for a credit card with a five thousand dollar credit limit. That do not call list aint working yall.
By the time everyone is awake and living in real time, everyone is pissed of about something and the yelling matches begin. The oldest son needs the computer or his video game system needs work, the youngest daughter is screaming to the top of her lungs cuz she can't reach the toilet paper thats sitting right beside her, the dogs are on a contined bark-a-thon and then...my mom yells my name....is it time for my pills???
If it were'nt for being so inclined to see the comedy in all this i'd need pills too. This very minute i'm asking myself why I gave up smoking pot. I use to wonder why people wished they could go back to being sixteen again, now I know why. Cuz those good memories have been buried in the pile of mush for brains we have left after giving birth to our children.
I've also figured out why we have children, we will need somebody to care for our old crankie butts when we no longer can. At that point it becomes clear as to why prescription pain killers are needed. Your back with that child that did this to you in the first place. Life is a butterbean and we all have to choke em down and the wash away the after taste with some buttermilk.
Can someone please tell me if there is any legal way out, or would I have to be killed if you told me?
I use to read, that was MY time for me. Erma Bombeck was the one lady that seemed to have a grip on her life and it seemed to be a shadow of mine. Her words helped me see the funny in all that is. Now the poor woman is dead and I have Jeff Foxworthy. He's correct in so many things he says about us rednecks.
A while back I lost my job and my car was repoed, I can't tell you how hard it is to get a ride these days. I did manage to get a lift to the welfare department to apply for foodstamps ,only to be turned down thirty days later. The lady told me to go to the soup kitchen, I asked her if she would gimme a lift..lol. Well I guess now i'll either get thrown in jail, or beat up real bad. Theres not much else that can happen to one person in a lifetime.
I know one thing you should never do. Thats apply for disability. My mom has tried this and believe me she aint able to do nuthin, and they have had her on record for over a year and all they can say is ...were waiting for a judge to come from another state to help us out. We're just way behind with all thats going on with politics right now. I ask the other day if she died could I get her backtime. They thought that was funny, to me its was'nt. Who do they think is paying for all them pills? I'm tired, old, and very much in need of a vacation seeings how I aint had one since I had kids.I know your thinking how can you be tired if you don't have a job. I can assure you I got more rest when I held a steady job than I do now.
If you have ever watched the movie Orange County you'd see a little of what my life is like. Take away the old rich messed up husband and the nice house. I tend to get silly late at night. Sorry about the spelling errors,I knew I should'nt have quit kindegarten.
I do hope you people have enjoyed reading this short story as much as I did writting it.

That is quite a day you've had...