posted on Jul, 21 2016 @ 03:28 PM
My image in the mirror
reflects my 68+ years
but I wonder what others see
when they look at me?
Do they only see my physical,
the wrinkles, the sags,
the puffy eyes and their bags,
does my gray convince them?
People often comment about my
optimism and my happiness.
I have honed my persona
and carefully hidden my sadness.
They don't see me turn off the news
or change the channel to avoid the gore.
They dont see me when I weep over
those that are suffering in war.
I watched as the children tried to steer the shopping cart down the candy aisle
The mother refused to be redirected and admonished them that she needed to get
the things on her list first. One by one they attempted to convince her to deveate from her shopping list. I followed at a short distance, observing
her resolve that was slowly eroding. She renewed her promise that they would all get candy of their choice. For a moment she silenced them. But
shortly they were back at it. Her eyes caught mine and for a moment she signaled her apology. I smiled back and offered my understanding. The children
saw this as an opportunity to renew their pleas. She no longer could hold her resolve and she swung the cart toward the candy aisle and the children
won once more.
A lifelong commitment to appear acceptable
has become exhausting and unsustainable,
too many fits of anger,
and too many failures that couldn't be hidden.
My persona is no longer finely honed
and much of what was hidden is now exposed.
I too have turned my cart down the candy aisle
and I have surrendered to make people love me.