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Death.. beyond the Vale

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posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 01:17 AM
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Beyond the Wings of weathered pale,

Where darkness bleeds, does hate exceed.

Entwined together entrapped in mind,

The proud stand gathered before the gate.

With songs of praise they fall to hell...


Prisoners of their own demise,

With quickening haste...with quickening haste...


Only those truly awake,

Understand their quickened fate.


edit on 7/20/2016 by awareness10 because: (no reason given)




posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 01:21 AM
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That was great!



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 01:26 AM
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a reply to: Night Star

Thanks Night Star, i was bored, i haven't written much of anything in so long i thought i'd give it a shot.




posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 05:55 AM
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a reply to: awareness10

Your a awesome writer!



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 06:00 AM
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a reply to: awareness10

I like your use of quickening... as it conjures the reference to movement in the womb. Not necessarily the mortal womb either.



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 06:48 AM
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a reply to: Quantum12

Thanks Quantum!



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 06:50 AM
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a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

I appreciate your analysis muchly!



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 06:54 AM
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Nice story/poem it was good.



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 06:57 AM
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a reply to: DarkvsLight29

Thankyou



posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 06:59 AM
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a reply to: awareness10

That is fantastic!

I would love to read a story by you.

Perhaps you will enter a writing contest?




posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 07:08 AM
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originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: awareness10

That is fantastic!

I would love to read a story by you.

Perhaps you will enter a writing contest?



Thankyou TN i appreciate your kind words.

I have thought about writing here for a few yrs, perhaps i will give it a go.

I miss writing greatly.


edit on 7/20/2016 by awareness10 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 23 2016 @ 03:36 AM
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a reply to: awareness10

Your poem is incredible beyond words. It reminds me of the description of hell given in the film What Dreams May Come.


You were expecting physical danger? What could it do, kill ya, huh? No, in Hell there's real danger. Of losing your mind.

What Dreams May Come


I believe we all have to be vigilant or we risk falling in. None of us are above slipping up and finding ourselves in a terrible place.





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