posted on Jul, 24 2016 @ 09:47 PM
Before I greet you all and read a line I need to share with you something that ran into my life today.
I need to share the bitter sweet and awesome. (awesome is defined as full of holy fear).
Because if I tell too many in the real world I may jinx it and would have to break down multiple times.
I am writing this because I need your prayers.
Two years ago I resigned from a job at, lets call it a "Home", due to privacy clauses I am prohibited from providing any open reference.
I resigned due to extensive prolonged harassment that led me to react in a very inappropriate manner which resulted in me being written up three
times. One of the complaints was a down right lie.
But I chose to leave because I could not bear the being written up for the first time in my life.
I loved the place and the people I served. I was unconditionally devoted to them, very contrary to my co-workers. They hated them, openly.
Fast forward to today.
A costumer comes up and apologizes for bothering me.
"Costumers are never a bother, you pay my bills"
"Well some can be annoying?"
"If I find a customer annoying it is I who has a problem"
"What a nice attitude" she says.
I ask her if she would like any thing else.
"Well how many hours do you work here?"
Confused I say part time and blurt out "Why?"
"Well I manage a kitchen and I want you to work there, I need some one like you"
Just like that, I am stunned and ask where this is.
It is my old job, I start sobbing uncontrollably and she is horrified asking me what is wrong.
A co-worker takes my spot it is obvious that I am out of my wits.
This kind woman takes time to sit down and listen to my story, I hide nothing for her about my behavior.
I never dream about people in real life, ever. But I still dream about "them" I wake up sobbing, I can feel a gentle hand and hear their voices. I
loved them. So much.
I never talk about it to any one, ever, it causes too much pain, I can't even visit, I would fall apart. I have pushed the memory into the regions of
a whisper of a prayer. "Please let me go back, please"
And now it is all too real again, my being is torn in pieces, I can't handle the memories of their dear faces, laughter and gentle hands holding mine.
I loved them so much but I couldn't handle my temper with my co-workers. Fool.
Just pray for me, that what ever happens is the best for all. I am a total mess right now.
Oh please don't tell me "a job is a job" this was more than a job.
I know what "a job" is.