posted on Jul, 20 2016 @ 10:55 AM
Very valid points. It would have looked like a stalker if she wasn't flirting and smiling with me. My persistence didn't turn her off, what turned her
off is that if I didn't move quick enough. That is the problem, that she loves me but was forced to get some other guy because I couldn't talk right
in front of her, I was like a deer in headlights. And the whole time she didn't know that she is the only one I have met that I would buy a ring for.
So the chance was there, I truly believe wth all my knowledge that We were Meant to Be, but since I didn't move quick she had to move on over time.
However if things went like this for years that would be more pathetic than it already is.
So at this time I have been avoiding seeing her and have met some other girls, and I have been getting my happiness back. But I also want to go see
her so bad, because there is a good chance she is waiting to see me and if I can get my game together we might have a chance. But, there is also a
chance she may be moving on, in that case if I try to see her I will end up with a deep pain over my chest and it would become unbearable again. But
also, the gamble seems worth it possibly, to crucify myself in the name of Christ, to put myself through torment for the meaning of what I think is
right. It would be justified to demonstrate that if another girl wants me I don't care because of the chance for true love. Or do relationships work
that way? A mentor of mine said no, there is no possible way it would work now after what has happened.
But if she has any feelings than me moving on with my life should make her miss me, so I'll move on then if she appears to miss me I will put it all
out on the table and then if rejected again, somehow I need to leave her in the past forever, however that would go against my intuition and my heart,
and I was taught to follow my heart and intuition more than my mind..