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Some of my horrid jokes

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posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 05:52 PM
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What do you call an angle that got rekt?
A rektangle

If I put a red "t" on a t-shirt, would it be considered a red "t" shirt?

Whenver I watch a movie and I see someone lose an arm or something, or get beat up badly, I say, "that must've costed an arm and a leg."




posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 05:56 PM
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a reply to: lazyfortress

What did the 0 say to the 8?



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 06:00 PM
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a reply to: MiddleInitial

I don't know. What did the 0 say to the 8?!



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 06:00 PM
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Check out Jimmy Carr. Similar humor. Can't link to it, too racy.



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 06:01 PM
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a reply to: MiddleInitial

Watch out, because 7 8 9 ( seven ate nine)....



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 06:03 PM
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a reply to: jeramie

"Nice belt!," said the 0.
edit on 16-7-2016 by MiddleInitial because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 06:31 PM
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I think I see why stewardesses won't respond to your emails.



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 07:43 PM
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What's the difference between a capitalist, a communist, and an socialist?










Answer: NONE they are all out to get your money.



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 07:50 PM
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originally posted by: neo96
What's the difference between a capitalist, a communist, and an socialist?










Answer: NONE they are all out to get your money.


Wow. Even in a thread about humor you had to drag the Pit in here. One might say(as Shatner did) "Get a life".



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 08:02 PM
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a reply to: intrepid

The op did say horrid jokes.




posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 08:09 PM
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Q; Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A; He was f'ing dead.



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 08:38 PM
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Did you hear about the carrot that died?

There was a big turnip at the funeral...



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 08:44 PM
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a reply to: AbdulAlhazred

Your joke beets mine



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 08:50 PM
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a reply to: lazyfortress

Why did Santa only have 7 reindeer on Christmas Eve?

Comet was home cleaning the sink.



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 11:28 PM
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What might you call a low-IQ lion?










A leotard.



posted on Jul, 16 2016 @ 11:28 PM
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Picture in your mind a soup factory with a great hot vat of broth, noodles, peas, carrots, whatever. The "main" ingredient has yet to be added...

A worker ties a long cord to the leg of a young chicken, throws the chicken overhand to the far side of the vat, and pulls the chicken back as fast as he can, before the chicken gets scalded.

The soup is now chicken soup. The chicken is now a pullet.
edit on 16-7-2016 by Lazarus Short because: dum de dum



posted on Jul, 18 2016 @ 09:35 AM
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a reply to: schuyler

-___-








That hurts...
edit on 18-7-2016 by lazyfortress because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 18 2016 @ 09:52 AM
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What does a cue ball and a mail order bride have in common?













The harder you hit them,the more English they pick up!!

~meathead



posted on Jul, 18 2016 @ 02:52 PM
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originally posted by: intrepid
Check out Jimmy Carr. Similar humor. Can't link to it, too racy.
How are you a a member???

Is this a mandella effect as I could have sworn you used to be a super moderator?



posted on Jul, 18 2016 @ 02:55 PM
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a reply to: lazyfortress

I took my kids to the zoo the other day and the only animal there was a small dog.

shih tzu



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