sure signs of head games

Ever have to deal with person that goes around in a circle... in thought and speech. They want to argue, they don't want to argue, they want to win when there is nothing to win.
How to deal?
They are cutting you down in words and tone, lie and say they were about to give a compliment...
Pure evil garbage,
Wanting power over another... for no reason other than a power trip and or jealousy.
Implying your stupid, then acting dumb their own self as to what they said or implied...
Don't let them slave you around... in thought, speech or action..
Thanks, I'm still upset
Life crap.

originally posted by: peppycat
Ever have to deal with person that goes around in a circle... in thought and speech. They want to argue, they don't want to argue, they want to win when there is nothing to win.
How to deal?
They are cutting you down in words and tone, lie and say they were about to give a compliment...
Pure evil garbage,
Wanting power over another... for no reason other than a power trip and or jealousy.
Implying your stupid, then acting dumb their own self as to what they said or implied...
Don't let them slave you around... in thought, speech or action..
Thanks, I'm still upset
Life crap.

Best thing to do is not react. Ignore or avoid this type of person if possible. If a friend then maybe it's time to find new friends. If it family avoid them. If it's a boss or co worker do your job bust distance yourself. Don't engage or seek approval of this person. Hope this helps!

a reply to: sirlancelot it is a family member and a boss... so as a family member I had to react... after years of ever so subtle slights and outright insults I lost my cool and there was no avoiding the constant need for this person to pretend she is my authority or smarter than me... with annoying chatter, round and round no point or destination in her train of thought... just ruthless inflections in the guise of friendly conversation and sisterly love...
Yes you are very helpful, thank you...I do appreciate your words
I am definitely avoiding her until she can stop her hidden hate for me
She is older, and yet people wondered in the past if in'm older, simply because of her actions verses my actions.

originally posted by: peppycat
a reply to: sirlancelot it is a family member and a boss... so as a family member I had to react... after years of ever so subtle slights and outright insults I lost my cool and there was no avoiding the constant need for this person to pretend she is my authority or smarter than me... with annoying chatter, round and round no point or destination in her train of thought... just ruthless inflections in the guise of friendly conversation and sisterly love...
Yes you are very helpful, thank you...I do appreciate your words
I am definitely avoiding her until she can stop her hidden hate for me
She is older, and yet people wondered in the past if in'm older, simply because of her actions verses my actions.

Yuck thats the worst combination. Having worked for family I know it's hard to deal with hypocrisy. Sounds like she is jealous or insecure and feels a need to assert her fears in a passive aggressive manner.

Check this out. Bad Boss Link

a reply to: peppycat

Poor peppycat. Kitten thinks what she is trying to say matters to the narcissist. Try and understand they don't care what you say to make your point. Their whole game is feeding of your energy trying to convince them of something. They will do that until you give up, emotionally drained and frustrated.

The best thing is to give up sooner than later. Its not that they don't get what you're saying, they just don't care, except how you feed them your energy.

Edit:You want to frustrate them> Don't respond anymore. Say meh, I don't have to respond to you. Watch the fireworks.

a reply to: intrptr I had to quit and said she is not my sister..then she said, ''if that's what you want, ...to disown me''
I felt bad and said,'' let me know when you want to speak truthfully''
And your right, she just wanted to drain me with knowledge of...paper work, garbage input about management... so once she learns organic real speaking instead of that of a flea,
I'm not going to pretend to be intimidated by her... as I see that is what she likes.
She can either learn to teach whatever she knows or pretend to be an authority that does not want a student to understand the teachings... and stop saying it is too complicated for me to understand what she is saying
I told her she has little concept of subtlety...
She actually agreed to that for a second... then went on to try for a senseless fight about nothing..
She can fight with herself...or her man...i'm out of that mess, she still has friends if she doesn't leave everybody in the dust achieving work knowledge... management mumbo jumbo.
Thanks for your thoughtfulness
Hope in'm not bleeding you dry with blah blah blah!🎌🎆🎏

BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder

or as mentioned, its close cousin in the mental world -

NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Google it, read some accounts out there, and you will find that you cannot win. Because winning, no matter the issue, is all these people are about.

a reply to: EdwardDrake thanks I will Wright theses two down print up the info and send it to the male half... he seems to be a source for these disorders of hers.
Very helpful stuff, thank you.

Is this a work problem?

How skilled are you at office politics? Make her pay.

a reply to: peppycat

Hope in'm not bleeding you dry with blah blah blah!

Not at all, sounds like you got it.

I just thought of the Foreigner song. lol

I know that type of person. They typically don't like me since I don't react to that kind of nonsense.

a reply to: bbarkow she is focusing a lot on what she used to do and uses a negative tone in what I am guessing to be rehearsal/practicing with me what she knows... and then I will agree with her and then she wants to argue with my agreement in tone of voice and words. I say calmly, ''i am agreeing with you..?''!
And she gets mad some more?!
I appreciate your interest in this matter...i'm so frustrated... I can't just slap her with a white glove..so I resort to... she starts raising her voice... then my voice gets louder and. Then she gets louder more angry and I yell and she accuses me of raising my voice... she started the voice raising! If she wants to see who can yell the loudest, that's what she got..I feel bad for her... for reasons of losing her mother at young age and never fully grieving.
Seriously, I turned into a cussing wench and called her out..oh she's so much more sophisticated...?I guess..she is white and says she is black... and I have mental issues?
Crazy day I had on Thursday, thanks for letting me rant.
Feeling a bit better...

a reply to: peppycat

What would she say if you said to her - very calmly but matter-of-fact-ly - "I really want to help you with this. Please tell me specifically what you need from me." ?

a reply to: bbarkow not sure that would work, since she doesn't seem to know that she is rehearsing for something...I mean I could write her a letter, suggesting she get back into studying, something so as not to waste her brain away, getting older...she is very young in wanting to retire, imho.
I have had to work since 15 and so has she...she was taken in by a friend of hers and that friends mother is settling into the passing years...this friend of hers, needs attention and appreciation, yet is also a handful...blah blah blah, she hates any advice!?!
wants me to tend to many things that she should do in quiet of the mind time
thanks for letting me rant, she is like my patient of the mind studies right now and she hates it when I see and know things without schooling.
I could of gone to school, when I was a manager, myself and she wouldn't help take care of our dad when he got a stroke and I was working and attending school and she was only working and in a relationship with good man, sorry i'm still let down by this life..and try not to place blame.
what I am getting at, is..,if she wants to grow old and forgetful..not letting me help her, I still would like an apology..but its way too complicated with family feuds for most of my life...and I just wanted to work and go to school, get somewhere make enough money to meet someone and start a family...my family has blocked this every which way...I may as well find solace in the streets at this point ...i feel like their slave and yet I love them and want only love for them...I might not ever speak to her again, I did leave a pricy sweater she admired when I left work..and if she tosses it out, then it is truly over

i'll have to call her, trying not to sound mad or threatened or threatening or I could call her male half(boyfriend)
Thanks so much for following this stuff, I usually keep it all in, but I feel like I'm going to die soon so, I may as well try to feel better..not suicidal just exhausted beyond reasoning.
All I want is to end this debt to this planet.
Maybe I was born insane.
Thanks for the free therapy.

a reply to: peppycat

I see you've met my mother.

a reply to: Autorico lol... oh know is that the one in've been ranting about, no offence...i'm sure she has a soft and kind side too, with clear thinking, love for everyone and stuff... maybe your her favorite child?
I have never been a favorite personally, in'm female.
Thanks for that, hopefully in'm laughing with you or at myself.

a reply to: peppycat

Lol, that description in the OP is her to a T. And ya, I guess as an only child, I am the favorite.

What I would like to know is: how do you deal with someone who repeats what you say, mostly out of context, and considers it a valid argument?

a reply to: Autorico great question... much contemplating on that one....! For now I forget everything and chill with iced tea....🌊🌄☔

I'm going to try and call this person, see what she says and perhaps be first to apologize..when the time feels right, if I can find her mans number, I might call him... wish me the best..as luck is futile..except in battle before time started...6'000years ago...?
I know this from reading material, thank God in the name of the lord Jesus Christ.