Hi long time lurker opening up.

HI !

I have been waiting for a long time to make this first thread, im not good with words and English is my third language.

What i think u should know about me ?

Im currently 27 years of age, male, from a place called "Estonia" the birthland of Skype or south of Finland just across the sea.
People here are among the most un-religious in the civilized world. I have seen myself as an atheist for most of my life. Some time ago(2 years) i started soul searching due to emotional trauma, now i think i am a Buddhist since i agree with most of what they have to say about anything. I believe we live a in a place driven by consumption and maintaining a certain norm of life because " u have to be better than the person living next to you". At this point in time im not sure if i have everything figured out or maybe i might be loosing my grip on "reality" a bit. I don't have anybody to ask since the people i interact with are my close friends who would consider me crazy if i came up to them with the subjects i have in my mind.

I have spent many years in these forums and nowhere else have i found more open minded people than here and i am real grateful for that.

Do i have a message?

I'm looking for a enlightened person, someone who has walked the path and maybe is at the end of hes / her journey, someone to ask all these stupid questions i have. I work hard to see reason in talking to people except to entertain one. Seems like most people are out there only to buy the next big thing or to follow the next trend, everything seems fake and really not worth it (for example: when i see a faimly doing some stuff together i jokingly say in my head wow look another person transporting other people around for events and calling it a family).

Dont get me wrong im not negative or anything i am the most positive person ever. My birthdate reads 12.12.1988 and i feel really different from most people. The term "awakened" comes to mind. I would be really curious if there were some people around who could read me my fortune or something similar. Im really tall 207cm thanks to this i have learned to be humble because of all the s#it i have gotten through childhood.



A story from my childhood?

I deeply believe in the supernatural. As a child ( i was about 9) i went to sleep at a relatives house (couch) and woke up at night to see a dark figure standing up next to me, being sleepy i thought it was my nephew. When i woke up in the morning and went to get coffe he just arrived at home and nobody else was home, this still gives me the chills.

I have done meditation with great results, a feeling in the body where u leave everything behind, when you are finally able to not think about anything and just let the universe come to you, the ohm meditation with the 432hz . It blew me away. The hardest part after receiving each of these unbelievable experiences is the fact you opening up to it and you realizing just how off track and clueless most of the human population is (not blaming anyone here its how it is).

I cant stress this enough but i have been researching for 2 years now only for myself and now stuff only seems to be on repeat on every channel i know, its like i have finished that journey. feelings of something else out there. Since i don´t really have anybody to share this stuff with my brain is slowly trying to tell me; "ur going crazy". I feel like everything happening to me is for a certain reason. I think there are no such things as "good or bad experiences" i think everything is something u just learn from. Time is non linear, at one time its there the next u only knew it was there in your head.......

I think this about sums me up.... Hi !

If you really feel what i wrote and believe u could help me on my journey to the unknown please message me, since im running out of places to look.

You obviously took the red pill. I'd say you're doing just fine.

At this point in time I'm not sure if i have everything figured out or maybe i might be loosing my grip on "reality" a bit.

Like Neo in The Matrix, right when he sees reality shift a little... hey, he goes wassup wth that? Then when he wakes up, he still doesn't know anything, even less, its only over time he discovered what he thought was the real world was really fabricated for him. Its a life long process of discovery, life is life long, you are on your way.

Enjoy the ride.

a reply to: intrptr

Im not sure if this connects but i really love the phrase " the more you know the less you know".

Thank you and cheers this is exactly what i was looking for i guess

Hey nonzenz123: Welcome, first.
I offer no special advice or outlook, alas.
What I do offer is that what you express in your op is exactly what many of us feel, daily. I don't currently have a cure or fix, but your continuing meditation surely can't hurt. It helps to center you, I think, keep you grounded in your own sense of soul/truth/whatever is meaningful. Peace of mind.

We live in times of turmoil, obviously. France, today. Dallas, a few short days ago. Orlando, a week or so before that. I don't know what to say or even think about all that. My heart hurts.

About your personal feelings since young, my guess would be you're an old soul, reincarnated many times, here, perhaps. Maybe all of us are, but some seem to come to remembering, and some never do. I don't know what lies in the difference of knowing, other than knowing can be really, really hard at times.

I feel increasingly as though I'm living in different dimensional realities at the same time. A sort of aeon flux. You aren't crazy, I'd be willing to bet that. I'm not., either. But then, maybe you have to be just a little crazy to endure what's currently occurring, and the knowing, all at the same time.

My best advice is to keep reading, my friend. Always be civil, no matter what you receive here or elsewhere. Seek no revenge, and keep attemtping to learn and reach out. What you give out will come back to you.

Good luck, Godspeed, and welcome to ATS.
tetra50

originally posted by: nonzenz123
a reply to: intrptr

Im not sure if this connects but i really love the phrase " the more you know the less you know".

Thank you and cheers this is exactly what i was looking for i guess

I said it sounds like you are doing fine because you said this...

Seems like most people are out there only to buy the next big thing or to follow the next trend, everything seems fake and really not worth it (for example: when i see a family doing some stuff together i jokingly say in my head wow look another person transporting other people around for events and calling it a family).

These are 'waking moments'. When you begin to question what you have learned.

Carry on.

heh-heh. Intrptr nailed it right there, imho.
if you've gotten far enough to figure that out, and that what makes you different from most you encounter, you're likely gonna be alright.

originally posted by: intrptr

originally posted by: nonzenz123
a reply to: intrptr

Im not sure if this connects but i really love the phrase " the more you know the less you know".

Thank you and cheers this is exactly what i was looking for i guess

I said it sounds like you are doing fine because you said this...

Seems like most people are out there only to buy the next big thing or to follow the next trend, everything seems fake and really not worth it (for example: when i see a family doing some stuff together i jokingly say in my head wow look another person transporting other people around for events and calling it a family).

These are 'waking moments'. When you begin to question what you have learned.

Carry on.

all of this just leads to the assumption we are only here to experience. Which i feel really comforting or maybe even too suiting

Also 2 days ago blows my mind

I won't be long Wiping that smile off your face. Welcome to ATS by the way.

a reply to: nonzenz123so glad you made it, here. There are many kind and enlightening folks around every corner in between each nook and cranny....I can pm you about the things I read, in nature... tree work and the like...mostly casting stones such as(~) and opening portals...that's what I do for work outside of ATS.
Where I am from, it is not so crazy sounding as it is.
My main focus is gathering clouds through smoke and mists...then busting clouds, so I am very busy on that.
I have graduated under a certain tradition thus far, by a teacher and might study more in August.
Let me know if you would like more info in pm.
Peppycat😖
Hope you are well and balanced~peace friend.

a reply to: peppycat

This would be great im open to all kinds of information.