posted on Jul, 3 2016 @ 08:47 PM
In keeping with ATS tradition, and to stray away from the more political threads I am involved in, I want to give you all a personal experience, one
of the main reasons I found myself on ATS years ago. Now mind you, I am not sold on the events or their implications, some of this could of very
likely been a early childhood dream, however, this hasn't sat right with me for a long time, and I am just going to tell you the story.
When I was a child my parents were alcoholics, my father freshly out of the army would fight with my mother often (not physically) in our ghetto
apartment in Philadelphia, gun shots outside were a common occurrence, and I have several memories from this time in my life. I was almost two years
old at the time still very much a baby becoming a toddler, my brother is twenty two months older than me,and here is my first childhood memory. I am
at a small table in the living room next to my brother, a candle is lit, and my mother is crying and my dad is next to her, which was impactful and I
was concerned for my mother, she explained to my brother and me, that her and my father would no longer leave us to go out drinking at night that they
were going to change, she then put us to bed.
Next, I remember my brother waking me up and beginning to pick me up, it was the middle of the night and dark, though with enough of a moonlight hue
that i could see what appeared to be an opaque entity, formless, and yet somehow perceivable, in the room with us. it was comforting, familiar, and I
knew I had this seen this entity before. My brother quickly whisked me away, and took us down the stairs and up again to the apartment next door ,and
he began knocking on the door, a very tired and concerned woman answered the door, and my brother told her," my parents left us again" ,and she took
us in where we waited for my parents car to return, and that's the end of my first memory.
The thing about this "entity" in the darkness is that I remember it appearing in another memory ( more likely dream. obviously) and at the risk of
sounding crazy here goes.
I remember, standing in front of the world (as if the globe was in perspective) next to this formless entity, that was very loving and kind. It was
presenting a choice and that choice was to live a human life, there were others around though I don't remember what they looked like, the thing was,
the choice was solely mine to make, and I watched the life that I would live every moment played before me, and it was to be a sad and painful life
which the entity was understanding and kind.
That's all I remember from that, now of course that was most likely a dream, the strange thing is in my teenage years I confronted my mother about
that memory at the table and them leaving us, and it was true she confirmed it, she was dumbfounded and sorrowful that, that would be my first memory
as I was very young, and also they changed their lives and sobered up. I've always wondered about this progression of events, and sometimes when my
logical mind is at ease I do play with the possibilities, so I hope you enjoyed a very personal story of mine and perhaps some of you have similar
experiences, thanks for reading.