what to do when a housless soul on the side walk is annoying..?

Hello there again friends,
Everyday day I have to walk passed a woman I have shown nothing but kindness to... now she is some sort of mortal enemy
I can't seem to pass her without useless chit chat
I know I mean, but come on really,... stand there with her speaking of nothing for how long?
I offer her things in past and she accepted them..and now in'm going to give her my bug funeral
A sow bug was in my home leaving a dead one behind and I put it in a purple box with a raspberry in it,
Even though black berries grow pretty wild or everywhere in town, but she ain't from here.
Maybe this is a rant, sorry guys
I wish she could find someone to love, instead of wishing to fight me,
Fighting with a woman is insulting to me.
Thanks for reading.😊
She can find her own black berry bush, for all I'm concerned.

a reply to: peppycat

Everyday day I have to walk passed a woman I have shown nothing but kindness to... now she is some sort of mortal enemy
I can't seem to pass her without useless chit chat

Then you were showing kindness out of politeness, not really feeling it. If you don't want to talk, say not today as you swing by.

Don't feel compelled to stop or feel guilt for not.

How is she a mortal enemy? I'm confused...

You are giving her a dead bug in a box? And something about a raspberry??

*scratches head*

Not sure what to say...

- AB

Odd. If she's homeless, there's a reason for that. No need to 'fight' with her. Just say good morning, and if she tries to detain you, tell her you don't have time for chat today, and keep walking.

No need to be ugly to this woman. Better to ignore her altogether.

a reply to: AboveBoard it is so hard to speak with this woman, is all in'm saying... she bugs me and my walk into town..she can find work or a man, the choice is hers, women aren't taking her in and giving her loving comfort... and she doesn't care to find work.. she just overload on alcohol and bug me on my way into town or to my work space... in the city as a caregiver.
Folks offer her free food and I have given her water and medicine...i'm really annoyed because she and I speak differing languages... and it is difficult to understand her body gestures..I might of picked up on it a bit earlier today, though.
Thanks, in'm venting, sorry I know in'm difficult to understand, myself
Appreciate you reading and reply😇 in'm feeling better about my issue now.

a reply to: peppycat

.and now in'm going to give her my bug funeral A sow bug was in my home leaving a dead one behind and I put it in a purple box with a raspberry in it, Even though black berries grow pretty wild or everywhere in town, but she ain't from here.

.................................................What?

LOl....I thought the same thing...... What ? I don't get the bug and a raspberry symbolism .? a reply to: DAVID64

OP...sounds like you tried to help, and now you're annoyed because this woman doesn't really want help, and is not doing anything to better herself ... She's just using your kindness and others....so....you can't help someone until they want to be helped. This lady seems ok with being homeless and jobless....so...it's not your problem any more. You tried ,but you can't fix someone who won't fix themselves ! I suggest you take another route into town, or by pass her by taking the next street over ....if you can't do that, then do not engage in chit chat...just say politely, " I'm sorry I'm In a rush. No time to talk today " or something of that nature ....and brush by her . .....she will eventually move onto another victim to talk with ...soon enough .

Maybe she is mad at you for giving her a raspberry with a dead bug on it.

a reply to: peppycat

Okay, you sound frustrated by a homeless alcoholic woman who may be expecting gifts and conversation from you.

If you are feeling frustration, it is likely that your personal boundaries are being invaded and you are being asked by her to feel guilty about her situation and obligated to help her. That is part of her illness if she is an alcoholic. She needs other people to take responsibility for her problems and she avoids taking responsibility for herself.

Does that sound familiar?

If you are in the United States, you can give her the United Way phone number "211" on a card. It is free to call from anywhere. She can connect to services through them - they will give her a plan. She may choose not to help herself.

(If you are not in the US - United Way is a world-wide organization, OR, there may be other similar places you could send her.)

At that point, you can simply say "did you call 211?" and you may get excuses or "but they don't help me" kinds of answers. Just nod and say, "well that is the best I can do."

Here is the website. You can even look up services in your area. After that, its up to you how you engage further, but you can do so with no sense of guilt or obligation. That is her best chance of getting real help, from what I understand.

United Way 211 Services


Give her the 211 number and release any guilt or anger/sense of obligation you feel. If she chooses not to help herself, then you are free to do as you wish - you can give her an occasional gift of food, medicine and conversation, freely, out of the kindness of your heart with no sense of obligation, or not.

IF you do see her, always make a point to mention the 211 services. You may want to look her in the eyes, listen to her problems for a moment, then firmly set your boundaries ("I have to go now. I hope you follow up with the United Way services!")

I worked for a church and we had a lot of homeless people come by and ask for money. We sometimes decided to give out grocery store cards and such in "care packages" but mostly we gave them the 211 number and info. Our church donated TONS of money to local charities that the United Way folks in our area would direct these people towards, as appropriate.

Good luck.

- AB

a reply to: peppycat

Anyone think the woman MAY actually have REAL problems that LED her down a path to that bottle with a very slippery edge?? No? I've seen it happen many times. People love to jump to the wrong conclusions when it comes to alcohol and those who abuse it. Often times it's people who have close relationships with the bottle themselves, but wouldn't admit it for anything. It's always easier to think the worst of someone with these problems.

I've known some wonderful people who due to disastrous things in their life have ENDED up in a bottle rather than STARTED there. It's not necessarily their fault, but rather a fault in them. I think I would get in touch with a program or people who deal with these things and let them take it from there. It's a 50/50 chance she would even ask for the help she apparently needs if given the phone number and left to her own devices, but if offered help from someone who knows where she's coming from she just might take it. I'd rather give someone benefit of the doubt than to condemn her not knowing her story. That alone can make/break or actually save someone. And too, at least she'd be on somebody's radar if she declined and ended up in trouble later on.

Yes, I probably have way too much sympathy, but I prefer that to not having any at all. Ces't moi....

PS Perhaps her annoyances are her way of asking for someone to see past it and give her the shove she not only needs, but truly wants.

a reply to: peppycat

I can see this being annoying, but you did show her kindness, and that's a good thing. She's likely lonely, and many people aren't kind. If she's fighting, maybe just ask why she's upset? Maybe it's just hat you listen, so she's ranting in your direction.

a reply to: intrptr thanks, in'm not sure if she comprehends. English, in'll try it.
Earlier yesterday she called out my name again and I yelled no!
She also tells strangers my name, and I never consulted her on this issue, so I will think about what you wrote, thanks.😊

a reply to: angeldollbi'm always sweet and kind, but she is difficult to pass, sometimes she yells from across the road, even.
I understand the need to speak to another soul, I. Just get tired of it and want a little peace.
She actually seems to prefer the outdoors
And had a place behind a bear statue, but two native men took it over for a bit until I left change in front of the area, then they disappeared and she got her place back, so sad...a big struggle had occurred ,
Thanks, if your interested l will let you know about her search for peace and safety in her preferred place.

originally posted by: peppycat
a reply to: intrptr thanks, in'm not sure if she comprehends. English, in'll try it.
Earlier yesterday she called out my name again and I yelled no!
She also tells strangers my name, and I never consulted her on this issue, so I will think about what you wrote, thanks.😊

Kind of weird, huh? She calls out your name, like hounding you for attention... and money, probably.

Now that you have proven you can be pressured, she might be playing that. Prove you can't be, just keep walking. Get her used to the idea you can't always be hustled for bit of change.

I used to be 'homeless'. I used to give some people that were worse off than me something, sometimes. A fold up plastic poncho, wool cap or gloves, a mini flashlight. That stuff is more useful than a couple dollars. The rest of the time, just wave them off, they know what time it is. Its okay not to save them from their 'plight', every day.

Edit: You're not going to fix them, anyway, just making their day that little bit easier once in a while is enough.

a reply to: peppycat

I feel for this homeless person. Such a shame that there are people in the world with no one. And no where to go. What will happen to her in winter?

Perhaps she is suffering from mental illness as well? There is a homeless shelter near me and it stays packed. Some of the folks have to stay in the woods if there is no room on some nights. Women and children get priority but they are housed separately. Anyway they are provided meals and medicine (no narcotic) and must leave by a certain time in the morning for either work or the pursuit of work. They will even work with the local housing authority to find permanent shelter. Is there nothing like this near you? I'm saying could you reach out to a shelter, if there is one, and they could go and speak with her and offer assistance.

Maybe this is a simple idea but if none of the above works could you just simply change your route to work so you don't have to be annoyed?

If you would, let us know what happens to this woman.

A difficult situation to be sure. Sometimes we entertain Angels unawares..... But the rest of the time........... But I see your compassion flowing out from everywhere. There's a saying : If you carry someone forever, they will never learn to walk. It seems a matter of choosing the path of least resistance for this individual however..

I will say though..... and I'm assuming English is your second language, parts of your dialogue are somewhat difficult to grasp/understand/decipher.

gremlins in my PC, double post....

a reply to: Plotus thanks for understanding.

a reply to: LadyGreenEyes thanks I can handle ranting, she has like three or four words, hi my name, how are you today... stuff like that but with hidden meaning.