A year ago I was away from my wife for 4 month, we dint plan to have another child (to be honest we are closer to getting divorce than contemplating
having more kids) but here he is.
There is not much i can say, I been awake since Sunday and by now I'm in pretty rough shape (cant complain the wife did all the work) but just some
The wife had a hard time, even as this is baby #2, the first child was by c-section in our original country, back there she had her family to support
her and in here just her crappy unwanted husband, the birth had to be induced and she spend 24 hours in pain before being taken to the delivery room,
where she spend another 14 hours before the actual birth that took around 1 and a half hours of pushing. You are there seeing these small woman giving
all she got for over an hour and be amazed of the woman resilience to find strength to continue, after an hour of pushing the doctors told her they
could not allow it to prolong anymore so they had to use forceps, when she heard that she only thought of possible damage to the child and she pushed
harder than ever just when her strength seems to had faded. the love of a mother for their child is a real powerful force.
During these 3 days I never really worried about the child, seeing the wife in pain and not being able to do anything directed most of my concern to
her, during the birth i started to worry when she kept pushing and nothing happens, you are there and if you don't see the clock you thing its just a
moment when in reality was close to an hour. when you see the nurses and doctors start to move more frantic around and the wife seemly pushing weaker
and weaker every time is when you start to worry, at the end an older female doctor came and started to scream to the wife and it just hit you that
despite being surrounded by all those machines beeping, we are still primal animals and the force of the matriarch to guide in the darkest hour seems
to put everything in place.
And then when the child is finally delivered it feels so good to hear him cry, i dint think of him being in pain or anything, it was just a relive to
hear he was finally out, he was with his mother for about half an hour so happy and secure, he dint cry after he was in her arms. Then the nurse needs
to do the measurements and the others to clean the wife so he starts crying again. When she finish what she was doing she tells me to put him the
diaper and my doubts starts, why don't you do it i though i'm a crappy parent i wont do it right, but then the first stupid proud moment came when i
finish my bad handiwork of putting the diaper (she basically had to do it again) when the realization came that I put the diaper without him pissing
me all over, i was like SUCCESS
i know its stupid but being a useless breather just occupying space over 40+ hours it felt good to have a small
Then the worst moment came for me, she told me to carry him while the other finished with my wife, I saw him so small and brittle and my sleep
deprivation only allowed me to be filled with doubt and like a mindless zombie i just said, so i grab him and give it to my wife? the nurse saw me
like dude come on i just told you you need to hold him while we finish and right away he starts to cry, then the best feeling in my life happens, I
just grabbed him, he opened his eyes and saw perhaps a wall but it felt he saw me, and he stoops crying
, there is no words to describe the
felling of him recognizing you as your father and the relive of that giving him comfort
all was good in the world in that moment.
Sorry if you read this and it was poorly written and it dint left you anything, I just wanted to share that feeling of being a proud father before
going to pick the other kid (he is alright too i guess
), it was a hard 3 days when i felt more useless than usual married with random acts of
compassion that left me feeling good, like the family that is taking care of the first born because we are alone in here, or the friend of my wife
that i have just said hi 2 times in my life that brought to me the best porkchops i have ever eaten in my life despite me telling her over the phone
that i was good with a sandwich of the vending machine and she should not worry about me.
Also, a lill more than a year ago when I was away from my wife and had no intention of having a child I made this thread of a dream I had where i had
Yeah, i'm not bathing my new son, nope i might be Nostradamus or something
, also i'm old fashioned and that's the work of the mother
anyways... (just kidding)