The Self-Censorship Problem

a reply to: Profusion

Last night we watched a female entertainer who exhibited a form of that effect. The response was immediate. Instead of drawing attention to her obviously gifted talent, she drove people away who listened to her and went "Ehhh!"

We all realized she was expecting all to recognize how good she was performing when the effect was the opposite. She was great...hugely talented....but by the 3rd song, we all were un-interested, bored and looking at our watches.

If she wouldve self-censored herself and the image she thought we all should already have had of her...she would have won over a large amount of new fans. She did not...and I wouldnt go see her again.

She lost a huge amount of potential new fans. And that happened because she expected everyone to fall over her. Self-censoring or editing her performance to GET new fans should have been easy for her.

Instead...she didnt and had the obvious and egotistical attitude everyone SHOULD already be fans and falling all over her. We dont see that often in music performances, especially from "unknowns" and new groups or singers.

A form of perceived "self-entitlement"...and she was clueless she was having that effect on listeners in her audience.

Worrying is for the birds. No one on this site is paying your bills or steering your life. Say what you have to say and bump the rest.

a reply to: Profusion

People like you because of your open, honest opinions. Frankly, I am not sure how many people remember the exact wording of specific posts. I only remember a contributor's "tone," and only that after I have read very many of their posts. There are contributors I agree with, and contributors I disagree with, but I value their input and sometimes someone will say something that changes my mind about a particular topic. I don't think it is necessary to censor yourself other than to maintain decorum on the boards, but I don't remember you ever saying anything rude.

My experiences in trying to be likable, take it for what it's worth:

1) Give an inch and they'll take a mile. In other words, giving up who you are, even a little, makes you miserable and encourages others to treat you like a welcome mat.

2) Being polite is good, but it's possible to politely disagree...even if the people who disagree with you are awfully impolite about it.

3) No one can ever hope to please all of the people all of the time.

Alms for an Ex Leper

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