There is Potency in Doubt

What is the more powerful motivator: when somebody has faith in your ability to achieve some goal, or when somebody doubts your capabilities to achieve that same goal? When somebody predicts your success, or when somebody predicts your failure? This might seem like an easy question to answer, but when you think deeply about the topic, you will find it's close to 50/50. Can such a question be answered satisfactorily considering that the personality, level of ambition and character flaws of the individual may play some role?

I personally believe external doubt is the more powerful motivator. Why? Because more people have gone onto achieving great things after being initially doubted by others compared to people who have failed after being praised or assumed to achieve success. I'm not talking about internal doubt or confidence in achieving our ambitions, but rather the external perspective of a third party. I am also not referencing support or endorsement — that another person's support will remain despite whether you achieve your goals or not.

More specifically, I am talking about fundamental human psychology. We tend to have a greater desire to prove somebody wrong when they judge or doubt our capabilities. In a way, I suppose I am acknowledging that third party perspective that is doubtful is helpful to a certain degree. Not the "you are a loser and won't achieve anything in life!" kind, but rather the "your chances of becoming a successful architect are very slim, focus on something more realistic" type of statements from others.

Of course, it's much wiser to uphold a realistic mindset than it is to uphold one that is excessively optimistic or excessively pessimistic. "You can achieve anything" is about as harmful as saying "you can't achieve anything". "You can achieve a great deal if you put a lot of effort into reaching your goals" is better advice.

That from an internal perspective.

There are people who go one step further and they purposefully throw bigger obstacles in your path to cause you to fail. Sometimes they know exactly what works.

I have lost my competitive personality completely. People doubting me did help, but for once it would be nice to have someone help instead of hurt.

Because it is better to know you have true friends than it is to know that you can do something that others have already done.

Though my father said something recently that encouraged me - quite the opposite effect to what you would think.

"You, unlike most people, have the true ability to do anything at all you want. When you finally decide that it is not immoral to play the game, your level of success frightens me. But hear this: Those who try to force you to live life their way, unless they are going to strip down naked and lie in the coffin with you at the end, F*** 'em."

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I think that it is more important to get to the state of mind that what goes on in the mind of your neighbors doesn't effect your performance.

Be your own motivation. If you doubt you can do something, go do it.

And then you will learn not to doubt yourself.


I honestly need to take my own advice on that in at least one aspect. Doubt is actually what is killing me. And I am super confident about almost everything else. It is the type of thing that will drive me insane.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I tend to think that is not so much a reverse motivator, but a an observation that one takes note of but continues in pursuit of the goal nevertheless.

You can achieve anything" is about as harmful as saying "you can't achieve anything"

I disagree as I am of the "you can do anything you aspire to" mindset. What you conceive in the mind you will go about putting into practise, using the necessary tools. How can it be harmful as the negative "you can't"?

"You can achieve a great deal if you put a lot of effort into reaching your goals" is better advice.

This is a given, once your plans are put into action - but who listens to such whimsical advice? For a start this isn't helpful as it's too wishy-washy, its not specific and unmeasurable.

Overall your thread is good...my understanding of the first 2 paragraphs is that for you personally you like to prove people wrong once you embark on a goal and perhaps this may be a powerful motivator for you. "You will strive" for the prize in spite of their doubts. And that's a valid viewpoint.

a reply to: TarzanBeta

But hear this: Those who try to force you to live life their way, unless they are going to strip down naked and lie in the coffin with you at the end, F*** 'em."

Wow, just wow - treasure these powerful words form your dad!