originally posted by: Dwoodward85
13 years ago I got two German Shepperds. Playboy and Midnight (named by my sister) and in that time we spent so much time together we had fun, played
ball, went for walks we shared good times and bad times and experienced things together that I couldn't share with you on this website. They basically
had a great life and one that other dogs and even people only wish they could have but then a year ago their hips started to go. Both started at about
the same time but Playboy, was getting it worse but he struggled on and then a few days ago he started to be sick and in one of them he was sick and
had a little blood in it. I called the vet and they told me that they couldn't take him until Tuesday because they were over booked but to feed him
only a little bit of food and plenty of water to clear his stomach out so I did but then Saturday rolled around and it was clear that this was it, he
was finally leaving me.
I laid down with him on Sunday night and rubbed him, stroked him, told him he was the best boy in the world and he was always a good dog and that I
loved him, the family loved him and I'll never ever stop thinking about him. I spent about twenty minutes with him on the floor until I noticed that
he was starting to fall asleep...at least that's what I thought. I kissed him and told him that I'd speak to him in the morning but when the morning
came round I couldn't speak to him. I woke up and found him gone, he'd died in the night hopefully in his sleep and it's killing me. I'm near breaking
point here and don't see a way of getting through it.
I don't have people around me that could make me feel better about him being gone. No one who I could lean on simply because it's not done with our
family. I've experienced losing a dog three times before this in my life years ago and got through it but I didn't feel this bad and so I've come here
looking for help. I know this is a conspiracy site and not really for people upset about their dogs passing away but I'm near the point of snapping
and don't want to get to the point where I do something that I regret. So I'm asking for people who've gone through this and felt it this hard to tell
me how they get through it.
The like above is one to a picture of him because I don't know how to put it on here, if someone was kind enough to do it in a reply I'd appreciate
it. I'm just looking for...honestly I don't know. I might be using this as a means to rant about it and show that I freaking hate that animals
especailly dogs are taken so young and no I don't believe all that dog years rubbish. He was thirteen and to young to go. I miss him so much that it
actually hurts inside, my stomach feels like I've been kicked in the stomach.
So without sound childish, please help.
There is nothing childish about asking for help. You feel like you've lost part of your soul, and that is perfectly understandable. It is the ultimate
unfairness; we are given these beautiful creatures to be our companions, our confidants, our therapists, our children, our loves...and not given
nearly enough time with them. It is heart wrenching when they have to leave us behind.
You speak of long walks with your babies, of playing ball and doing all the things that dogs love to do. Well...you did everything right. Did you know
that dogs do not comprehend time as we do? They don't measure it. Every moment they experience is full and real. They are present for everything,
unlike us. They experience everything so much more because they are not bound by a human state, as we are.
One minute to us may seem like hours to them, just as it does to a small child. An afternoon walk, in the open air, with birds and bugs and
tantalizing scents and the pure joy of being alive and in the company of the person they love most, is a great adventure for a dog. No matter how
often it happens, the novelty never wears off for them. You gave him so many adventures, and so much love. He carries that with him, and he always,
They also know when their bodies can no longer carry on. And they know that we cannot bear to see them like that. Do not feel guilty because your boy
left this world without you right next to him. He likely planned it that way, to spare you the pain of seeing him depart his physical body.
He is still with you. A part of him will always be with you, but right now...and probably for a long while to come...he is there, worrying about you
and looking for a way to comfort you. Let him. You can talk to him and he will hear you. Trust me on this.
I don't know why it hurts so much more with some animals than others. I think perhaps it's guilt. I felt indescribable guilt when my cat Tigger passed
suddenly in 2014...he was walking along and just fell over dead, no warning at all. He was five years old and perfectly healthy...but he had a brain
tumor that I was unaware of. And he died trying to run to me. I beat myself up for a long time over that...tears are streaming down my face now as I
type this. But he is still with me, and he never really left in the first place.
One thing you should definitely do is devote as much time as possible to comforting your remaining dog. They take it far worse than we do, even if
they don't show it outwardly.
I won't offer platitudes...they won't help you, and often can make it feel even worse. You feel this pain because you need to feel it, you are meant
to feel it, because it is meant to show you something. What that something is, only you will know, because this is your journey and yours alone. But
do not feel guilty. Feel angry, feel enraged. Feel sad, nostalgic, scream, cry...but do not feel guilty. You loved your boy and you love him still and
he knows that.
Look for the signs that he is still with you. Look for a message...he has one for you. And above all, take care of yourself. Allow yourself to fully
grieve, no matter how childish it may seem. Do what feels right to honor him and yourself and the great love that you share. Sometimes it helps to
plant a tree or flowers for them. If I were close by, I'd offer to perform a ritual for you. If you know anyone who can, you may consider asking.
If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to message me. I'll listen to you rant. I don't mind. I cannot take your pain from you, but I can
listen. Please be safe. You are not alone. Blessed Be.