Funny (skeery) Story

The timing on my story is probably bad, but oh well...when is my timing ever good?

Last year my wife and I went on an Alaska cruise on Princess. It was a 7 day gig leaving out of Vancouver up the Inside Passage and back down the Outside Passage with 3 stops. It was an awesome cruise. Unfortunately, that's not the story here though.

We decided to go to Vancouver a couple days early to see the area because we'd never been there (and to ensure we made the cruise!!). We made reservations and packed our stuff. We arrived without a hitch and made it to our hotel. We'd arranged for a cab to take us out to dinner that evening. We were ready to go early so we decided to have a couple cocktails in our room. I needed to go find a soda machine and the ice machine. I took a quick shot of whiskey and headed out.

I found the soda machine in pretty short order, but there wasn't an ice machine. I decided I'd go back to the room and drop off the sodas and then get serious about finding the ice machine. On the way back to the room I thought I saw an alien out of the corner of my eye. Yes, you read that correctly, ATS'ers...an ALIEN! He was all the way down at the end of a really long hallway and I only caught a quick glimpse of him. He was a big sucker too!

I chuckled to myself; my eyes must be playing tricks on me I thought. I dropped the sodas off to my wife and took a quick look at the whiskey bottle to make sure I'd bought the right stuff and not some kind of moonshine or sumthin. Yep, all good. I told my wife I saw an alien, we laughed and I left to go find ice (right after taking another shot...hey, we're on vacation and I'm not driving, right?)

The ice machine was one floor up from ours, I found it eventually. I come back with some ice and we enjoy a couple cocktails together. She gets a real kick out of my alien story (I swear I saw an alien!! I've got pretty dang good eyesight too.) Anyway, a little while passes and it's almost time to go. We make sure we've got our wallets and junk and start to head out.

I go out the door first and walk out into the hallway. "HOLY CRAP!!", I say, and immediately dart back inside, slam the door and lock it! My wife asks me what the hell is wrong with me(?) I tell her, "There's a dude in the hallway in some crazy uniform like get-up low-walkin' down the hall carrying an M-16 at the full ready position!! For REAL!!" I'm tellin' her GET DOWN (between the beds)... "There's gonna' be some kind of a shootout for sure!!", I say. She thinks I'm jacking with her, but quickly realizes I'm dead serious! I'm telling her 'GET DOWN!! Seriously...GET DOWN!!". By this point my head is on a swivel, I've got my combat knife in one hand and a mag-lite in the other and scanning the room for cover. I'm in full Rambo mode at this point (SERE combat training fully kicked in).

We're down between the beds, and she's talkin' some smack to me about being drunk. I'm busy tryin' to figure out a battle plan. So this goes on for like 5 minutes. After a couple more minutes I still don't hear any shots. By now for sure there'd be gunfire. So quietly go over and peek out the door. Nobody there; I poke my head out and look down the hallway...it's empty. WTH? Wife's starting to get grumpy by this point, "Quit screwin' around and let's go, we're gonna' be late!" she says. "I'm tellin' ya' I'm not nuts, that dude was for real!" I said to her. And she knows I know my firearms back and front, I handled them daily for years.

So we finally head out, very cautiously. I'm clearing every doorway and hallway before we proceed. We make it to the elevators. I'm just waiting for this crazy MF'er to jump out of a door any minute and unload a mag down the hallway. The elevator shows up, we get in. My wife is lookin' at me like I'm a complete nut-job by this point, shaking her head.

We get down to the Lobby level and the doors open. "Coast is clear" says me. I was really surprised how calm everyone was for being under siege like they were. Seemed like just another Friday night. We walked towards the front door and this great big freakin' ALIEN steps out of a hallway leading to the banquet area. This dude must have been 7 feet tall!! No kidding! "SEE!!! THAT'S THE SAME DUDE I SAW THE FIRST TIME!!" I tell the wife. About a second later another dude steps out of the hallway, he's the dude with the uniform and the gun! WTF...OVER?? This time he's just got the rifle slung over his shoulder.

Well, unbeknownst to us, the hotel we were staying at was one of the places where the wildly popular TV show Stargate SG-1 was filmed. The show had been cancelled years ago, but apparently they were doing some sort of a 're-visited' special. All the actors were there in makeup and costume (and these were some serious costumes too). Well, that mystery was solved. The dude low crawling down the hallway was just practicing his scene, and the Alien dude was staying on our floor. Talk about feelin' silly...but after a couple drinks and a couple shots it damn sure looked real to me!!

Probably could have gotten some pretty good autographs from the cast, but I never really watched the show so I didn't really know much about them or who to ask.

Now whenever we stay in a hotel I jokingly step out of the door, dart back in with my back against the door and tell my wife I just saw an ALIEN! She usually jumps on the bed and says she's taking cover (under the sheets).

What a HOOT!!

Bahahahaha! That cracked me up! Great story! OMG! LOL

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Wow, the hotel should have made sure all their guests were informed about costume actors in the building! You armed yourself with a combat knife ready to protect yourself and your wife! Just think if another hotel guest unknowingly attacked one of these actors thinking they were going to prevent a mass shooting! With all the mass shootings in the news, people are becoming much more aware and alert to the potential of some nut job arming themselves and going on a shooting rampage. Something that definitely went through your head when seeing a stranger acting suspicious walking down the hotel with an M16!

I'm sure it was funny after the fact, but it sounds like the hotel was negligent on informing their guest about these actors when they signed in to stay for the night.

Wow...good read but one question....how did you get the knife to Vancouver?

I've got my combat knife in one hand and a mag-lite in the other and scanning the room for cover....I got to assume you drove to BC...if you flew the TSA missed your weapon...no matter the TSA is an expensive joke and worthless as the people it hires!

Cheers

a reply to: JaMeDoIt

No, we flew there. It was in my checked bag. Nobody said a word and I didn't think anything of it, didn't think there were any restrictions on having it in your checked luggage. OOPs!! Dumb luck I guess.

a reply to: WeRpeons

We actually did talk with the hotel about it the next day. They were very apologetic. It was one of those "ass-u-me" things. The manager stated he assumed everyone there knew. He said he believed nearly 100% of the people staying there were there just because of this event. I do have to say, when we returned from dinner the place was packed with all manner of fans (adults) all dressed up in costumes of their favorite characters stumbling about. It was like a giant alien party. It was like a Star Trek convention kinda'.

I guess I never really realized how popular that show was. I never got into it, but I guess a lot of other people did. From what I understand, much of the series was actually filmed in BC over its run.

Lol fantastic story, would have been cool to see everyone from the show/fans dressed up.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Well...

What did you think about Alaska?

BTW, I usually need three shots to watch SG-1 too!

bwaaahaaaa

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

I love Alaska, I'd spent much time there before the cruise, but it was the first time for my wife and she loved it too.

The cruise was fantastic! SOooo much better than any Caribbean cruises we'd been on previously.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I love talking to the tourists as they pass through! They are in awe of my everyday view. And I get to "brag" about running through it all (able to go out there by any means).

AK is great but you have to be patient. If you want NYC then this is not for U.

So jealous that you got to Forrest Gump through SG-1!

Glad you enjoyed the AK!

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

My ex-wife was from AK so her family lived in Anchorage and Eagle River. Her brother used to run all the campgrounds in SW AK from Juneau to Talkeetna. Spent many months fishing the Russian and Kenai rivers, hiking and climbing all over. Have had several projects there over the years too. Lived outside Valdez for a while.

I always tell people..."If there's one place you miss in your lifetime, DON'T let it be Alaska!"

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I've been hanging with the tourists for a couple weeks now. Met some folks from: New Zealand, Australia (anywhere in the world you go chances are you run into one!), England, Croatia, Wales, France, some place called Canadia where they speak Canadian, East coasters (both coasts!), desert SW, Japan... and that is only this month! It is like travelling and most people are fun to chat with.

Glad you know the place! The people from Boston said they were going to take a couple weeks and wander around. And that is what you need, a couple of weeks! Months... years even. There are a few places I have yet to visit in my own state! People never really get how huge the place is until they get here.

Even the day cruises out to the glaciers is a fun one! Lots of wild life. And great questions! Here's one. Captain, "Over there is blah-blah glacier..." Tourist, "Captain! Captain! I have a question!" "Yes?" "That is pretty (points at glacier). But how far above sea level are we?" Captain, not missing a beat, walks over to the railing, looks down, turns back to the tourist, "I'd say about 12 feet..."