Watch me mommy, watch me. What's going on with the kids??

Now here is a curious notion.
This week my cousin is visiting and along with her, her grandson who is six, and having him around has caused me to think on some things. They are only vague thoughts and I thought I would bring them here and see if any one else has impressions like these.

The best way I can zero in on what I am considering is by citing that old Mad TV recurring character where one of the comedians dresses up like a little spoiled rotten kid called Stuart. In the skits he is constantly demanding attention, always wanting to be watched, to be seen. He does the stupidest little things and pouts and runs off to his room to hide when his mother does not see.

That is this grand-nephew to a tee, yet to single him out only diminishes my query. And I am pretty sure that my close proximity to this child and the nuisance he presents might be all that there is to it, yet still I wonder.

I see this all the time, kids at the pool saying watch me watch me watch me. Just jumping into the water needs an audience. I have seen kids stand at the edge of the pool and wait for some one to see them before making the jump. Or kicking a hacky sack, see me see me. See what I can do.

Now certainly this is probably little more than a child's sense of being at the center of the world, about a child’s need to be part of the whole if not the center of the whole and nothing more. Most likely. But still I wonder.

I know this has been prevalent for most of my life and my life goes back to the pre-TV days. When I was young and in school, when we accomplished something, a skill, or a talent, were singing in the school choir or excelling in studies we were always rewarded with applause and admiration, and this I suppose has always been the case. But now it seems that every little breath, every little dance and mud pie must be praised, well not praised but rather 'witnessed' as if in not being witnessed, it has no value, no reality.

And I am wondering if before the time of TV and movies where everything is witnessed if maybe this need to be seen and applauded all the time might come from the plethora of cameras all around us. I wonder if before this tech, was it so necessary to be seen doing something mundane or did a kid just do it with no need to be seen doing it. And if this might be true, would this not mark a massive change in the nature of how consciousness is developed in recent times. This feeding of the ego?

And I wonder at all the people now who are pining to be actors, to be celebrities, to be stars. At all the people posting on Facebook with pictures of their dinners and selfie after selfie after selfie, and updating them almost daily to keep the world informed of present appearances.

Anyone else wonder about these things?

I think it's like, watch me mommy so I don't drown...lol

I have seen my grandchildren acting the same way...huh, never really wondered about it, because I always thought it's normal for children to behave that way and wanting the attention.

I think it's because a child does not have a strong sense of reality, so children need to have an adult saying good job or you did great.

Or at least, that's my opinion.

Can't go into more philosophical stuff cuz I kinda drank a little too much

a reply to: Nikola014

Yeah, me too. Thats pretty much how I have always considered it too. But now, as I try to consider the massive changes that seem to be transforming society and civilizations around us, I wonder at just how much people are changing too, not only on a simple physical level but on a deeper consciousness level.

"watch me mommy"

changes into

"Here hold my beer"

in a few years.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire I think you may be on to something here. When I was little, bringing the camera out was sort of a big deal (with film on a roll), like for birthdays when a kid is supposed to feel the center of attention. Now cameras are every where and every day is a reason to take photos.
I remember in my neighbor hood as a kid, there were times we ran a bit wild and didn't care if our parents could see us... we were too busy having fun, feeling a freedom that kids don't have as much anymore it seems these days, in my opinion.
Times are definitely different for kids these days... parents more protective and focused on their kids maybe...? Don't know how else to put the change in parenting attitudes.

a reply to: Dumbass

Hey, as long as kids drink in their own house, all is good

Now here is an addition to that first post. My grand-nephew is now in my office with me as I type. He is cutting paper and wants me to watch him cut paper. Now that is one thing, but here is the rest of this bit. He has his I pad with him. At six, he has an I pad. And on that I pad is another child of the same age, cutting and forming paper and doing it all for the camera.
You see? I just have to wonder. Is it just that I am old now and not in touch with younger generations or is it possible that we are undergoing vast alterations to human consciousness that most of us are still unaware of.

My children do this to, the "watch me while I do a flip in the water", not the spoiled brat part. It is a bit annoying, because I AM watching them. But, I have to remind myself that one day they will not be asking me to watch them. They will be grown and not care much. I also remember those days when I was asking my parents to count how long I could hold my breath, how far I could dive, or my inferior cartwheels that must have been laughable.

I think it's simply part of being a kid.

Star for the Stuart reference.... "Let me do it!"

a reply to: Dumbass

Definitely. And maybe it also turns into "watch me watch me, vote for me because I am so huuuuuuge.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Isn't it something that our children/grandchildren have stuff at least I don't even know what is...Ipad? Tablet? Iphone? what on earth is all that, and why do they even need them, is for another topic...

I think you're right. I honestly do believe we're all being heavily influenced by social networks, and the youngsters are the most vulnerable...

Thank you for giving me something to think about, other than politics...

But let me post something more constructive.

As a single parent I noticed that attention seeking too yeah. And I wondered about it. My conclusion is that it is part of freeing theirselves from the parents. As a baby and a toddler they were watched over and cared for. When they get older, its not that you careless or so but if they do something stupid and fall down well you laugh and say I told you so long ago. So I always saw it as trying to keep the attention as it was before because they noticed it changed because they grew.

BTW is see it stronger in single kids families, probably because of the need of sharing the attention.

I am in no way saying that all kids from a single kid family are like that, but when it is in their personality it can enhance that effect.

originally posted by: chelsdh
My children do this to, the "watch me while I do a flip in the water", not the spoiled brat part. It is a bit annoying, because I AM watching them. But, I have to remind myself that one day they will not be asking me to watch them. They will be grown and not care much. I also remember those days when I was asking my parents to count how long I could hold my breath, how far I could dive, or my inferior cartwheels that must have been laughable.

I think it's simply part of being a kid.

Star for the Stuart reference.... "Let me do it!"

Yes, very likely. Yet, in the past I think that we out-grew those stages, that we grew up and left that need behind. But I wonder if this is still the case, if maybe this need has become so great that it is carrying over into and overly affecting the adulthood of younger generations today.

I prefer to keep considering it as you have said, but as I have said, I just have to wonder..

a reply to: Dumbass

Maybe. But, if so, someone will invariably yell "Dumbass!"

Anyways OP, my kid does this on occasion, most typically on days when I am really busy and not giving enough quality time. May the kid just needs more hugs and to feel more cared for? Maybe it's happening more because adults are more distracted by working more or various media devices?

a reply to: Dumbass Very constructive Dumbass. And I think you say it well,that the totally encompassed baby does not want to let go of that sense as they are growing older. That is I think the traditional course of childhood development. I just wonder at what other things might be creeping into the picture that we are still to knowledgeable about.

originally posted by: HoldMyBeer
a reply to: Dumbass

Maybe. But, if so, someone will invariably yell "Dumbass!"

Anyways OP, my kid does this on occasion, most typically on days when I am really busy and not giving enough quality time. May the kid just needs more hugs and to feel more cared for? Maybe it's happening more because adults are more distracted by working more or various media devices?

Excellent observation Beer, and no I won't hold it for you, your beer. I had not considered that in my queries. Parents too are more carried off into their own worlds of work, play and other distractions and kids need to maintain the sense of family cohesion around them. Good point, thanks.

And one more thought on that. It may be that the children are always watching the grown ups looking up to the vast number of things that the grownups can do, what they are capable of, and want to demonstrate that they to, can do more than they used to.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Well, I do see it continuing on longer, with the "selfie" movement. It disgusts me, honestly. Of course, children like to take pictures of themselves, my kids certainly do, but there is a point where it's not cute anymore. I actually heard my niece (15) tell her mother "Go on Instagram and like my picture so I can get more likes!"- Now, I'm not savvy with Instagram, but I gather the more "likes'" you get, the more people see it, and more opportunity for EVEN MORE attention. I think it's gross.

This niece, who is SO obsessed with being looked at and popular, is now begging mommy and daddy to move, because no one wants to be friends with her anymore. (Not sure, but I think she got a little too uppity for her small town and nasty words came back around to bite her in the butt!) To top it off, her parents are actually considering private school ($600/month) or moving.....

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
Is it just that I am old now and not in touch with younger generations or is it possible that we are undergoing vast alterations to human consciousness that most of us are still unaware of.

I'll go with you being old.

Could be that parents are not into the "children should be seen and not heard" style of parenting.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

I think whether or not a kid is "Stuart" depends on a few things. (Disclaimer: Tons of anecdotes based on my own observations so please be liberal with the "grains of salt").

Age/Experience of the Child:
Our son is 4 years old and although he doesn't constantly badger us to watch him, he does from time to time. Here's the thing I noticed though... what seems mundane to an adult may be incredibly exciting for a young child. For me, running through a waterfall at our local pool facility is nothing except a way to cool off. From his perspective though, it is literally an adventure. It's not so much as "look at me" so much as it is "Look at THIS!!!!"

Is it CONSTANT or Occasionally?:
Just this past weekend we attended one of my son's friends birthday parties at one of those bouncy-house places with all those crazy climbing structures and slides and all that. Not only did he not once want us to "Watch me mommy and daddy," but he actually got a little annoyed that mommy (not me - wink) was cheering so enthusiastically.

The size of the world:
One thing to consider too is that the younger the age of the child, the smaller their world is. Depending on how close extended family is, in many instances the first few years of a child's life consists almost entirely of their nuclear family. Just like a puppy want's to impress his masters, a young child want's to impress his/her parents. I think that is why they say "watch me!" so often (sometimes).

Can't remember the last time I thought of "Stuart" so kudos for bringing up that little golden nugget.

Or its just a child seeking attention from a person they are in a significant relationship with, no different to make up or shaving and antiperspirant.
Humans are relational, even young ones
We need each other

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Interesting idea. I think that kids have always wanted people to share in their accomplishments (who doesn't?), and that behavior is nothing new. Showing off a new skill, or some project, is pretty normal behavior. That said, it can be taken too far. I am not sure I'd limit that to kids, either, or, for that matter, even claim it was mostly kids doing it. These days, with all of the social media madness, and the devices, what we are seeing is more and more adults demanding attention, and not just for accomplishments. 'That would be alright. Many, though, want attention for everything they do! Literally everything. People post the most ridiculous status updates - going to the store, bought doughnuts, on my way to work, making chicken for dinner - and on and on ad nauseum. If they don't have those to post, they search for meme after meme, posting silly little pictures with some catchy phrase printed on them, hoping for someone to like "their" post. I have relatives whose posts I don't ever follow because of this. Once a month, maybe, on FB to keep track, and I could spend ten minutes, literally, scrolling through such nonsense, looking for anything important.

"Watch me, watch me!!", seems to be more from immature adults, at least from where I am standing. That said, the kids will surely pick up on this. Mine don't do the social media thing, so maybe I don't notice it as much. Video chats with the grandkids, well, we don't do those as often as I'd like and I want to see all they want to show!