posted on Jun, 7 2016 @ 10:28 PM
a reply to:
Profusion
Briefly . . . before I head off to bed . . .
1. Folks with significant RAD (Attachment Disorder) handle rejection poorly because of their inherent, brain damage associated insecurities and low
self worth. This tends to trigger an almost endless cycle of repeated rejections by similar types of people such folks are endlessly attracted to
(until the pathologies are seriously worked through).
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1.1 It's been accurately stated that we tend to try and work through with our spouses and bosses those things we failed to work through with our
parents--even if it were the parents 99% 'fault.'
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2. Going out and finding the same sort of spouse/significant other to begin the same dance again that recently ended in failure is an example of the
above. This can go on and on and on through 4-16 or more failed significant other relationships. Though many men tire after 3 divorces and forget
marrying to continue the dance. It's at least a little financially cheaper that way.
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3. REJECTION sometimes IS mostly the rejected party's resonsibility, fault, triggered event. NOT ALWAYS. Sanity is getting some professional help to
learn what one can about one's own part in it and to grow out of such tendencies, habits and dynamics.
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4. Worrying about being rejected; clinging; obsessing; etc. are common ways some TRY to prevent rejection but which actually INCREASE THE LIKELIHOOD
AND SPEED of REJECTION.
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5. 2 people desperately needing each other as in an "A" frame leaning relationship are in trouble to start with. If one leaves, the other falls flat.
Two people who are mostly mature and can handle being comfortable in their own skin; be happy being alone . . . etc. etc. can then successfully share
a common outlook on the world from a shared experience of the world that is open-handed--giving fitting space while being deeply and enduringly
committed to one another.
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6. REJECTION can be one of the most horrible experiences for the terminally insecure and immature. It can feel like being 2 years old in the middle
of a major train station when a parent suddenly disappears. However, it's usually not quite that bad and can be overcome with time . . . and better
choices of friends . . . and maybe professional help.
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7. Some of us find a solid, emotional, dialogue enhanced relationship with God helps make human rejection much more tolerable and easier to learn
from.
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Good topic.