posted on Jun, 17 2003 @ 10:50 PM
RIPN-Washington, DC-June 17, 2003
Senator Orin Hatch of Utah today made statements in a Senate Judiciary Committee Hearing that people who download copyrighted music should have their
computers destroyed. In a surprise move Intel and AMD both quietly voiced support for the Senator's position.
Said an Intel spokesperson, "With lagging sales this could revitalize the computer industry." Imagine if only a small percentage of P2P users have
their computers destroyed under Senator Hatch's plan, that could amount to millions of new computer sales. A short time later, Intel announced it's
new processor line in development, the Pentium C4. AMD not to be outdone, announced the development of their new CPU the "Amatol."
Peter Wotcha, a Wall Street analyst for the brokerage firm of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe said, "This could be the saving grace for the computer
industry ... Everyone has been looking for the next killer application, and no one ever considered the hardware before." Literally.
Within hours various other manufactuers jumped on the bandwagon. Lan Li has announced the development of a exposive proof case complete with Kevlar
panels. Based in part on NASCAR racing technology used to prevent exploding engines from harming drivers, Lan Li expects the cases to sell quite well.
L.L. Bean known for it's clothing line has announced they will be carrying kevlar Dockers as well as Kevlar socks.