Alien comes into your home.

So the questions is,

What would you do if an alien comes into your house and said, "I'm running from your government"?

Would you try to hide him?
Shoot the alien and hand it over?
Call the police/military and run?
Try to knock it out?
Blow up the house with the alien inside?

I'm not talking about alien from alien film, more of an intelligent being that can talk.

E.T phone home. Probably something smarter than E.T movie.

a reply to: makemap

1. Earn its trust

2. Find a good disguise

3. Find out what he/she/it enjoys, bribe its loyalty by providing these things to it

4. Make it my business partner for some new ventures

5. Teach it about all my favorite meals

6. Invite it to my wedding

7. Ask about space ganja

a reply to: makemap

Phase 1: Collect its underpants

Phase 2: ?

Phase 3: Profit

a reply to: makemap

I would make him a deal, "take me with you when you leave this planet, and i will help you" ...unless he tells me they got goverment too, then screw him

a reply to: makemap If this alien looked like a human, I would put up my dukes and yell,'' what the f do you think you are doing!'' hopefully, I would be able to call emergency quick!
If the alien looked like a grey or something, I would yell,'' In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command you to leave!''
If the weird looking ET came and knocked on my door asking for refuge, I might talk to it a bit, but not let it in. I would probably call out for the Lord and then post my experience on ATS... maybe I'm just prejudice against ET's from the horror stories I have read about being poked and prodded and other nasty business.

a reply to: makemap

Crap myself then faint.

Or faint then crap myself.

Either way, I'll need laundry done and a cool cloth on the forehead.

It always ends like this at my house.

a reply to: makemap

The last time this happened I was a bit annoyed because the Girl Scouts had just bothered me with the cookie sale so I shot the alien and burned its remains.

If it occurs again I may have a different response but you never can tell.

In general I try to be open and nice to aliens but like people they can piss me off.

One turns up every time I sell something on Gumtree. Always asking for "best price", "Is for the children", "I come long way for this". Same accents you get in call centres strangely enough. Never any mention of government though.

makemap

I would say, "Roger?"

Hmmm....

I would ask if it knew how to make tea and would it mind doing a few light household chores.

If it agreed to look after me for a bit and wasn't judgemental I'd let it stay.

If it was useless at the above, or badly behaved in any way, then it's on its own. No sanctuary from me.

a reply to: mojoharry

I believe OP meant Alien, as in "Extraterrestrial", space being. You're talking about the types of Aliens that certain POTUS candidate generalized and called rapists

I can't believe nobody has said "Probe it"

So.... Probe it.

And hide it from the government and make it give up all its technology.

I'd teach him to play cribbage; and we'd talk.

a reply to: makemap

You made the theoreticalien a "him", so that rules out sex stuff. I would probably invite him in and spend several hours peppering him with questions. If the answers were interesting enough, this would lead to days, weeks, months, possibly even years of the same. I would suggest that he invent futuristic stuff with me which I would then patent. Some of the proceeds would be used to buy large tracts of land which he could hide out in, as well as several fast vehicles (cars, boats, Gulfstream jets, helicopters, etc.) to have around just in case he needed to escape.

I would also turn him into a Chicago Cubs fan. If he declined and said he was a Cardinals or White Sox fan, I would shoot him in right in the middle eye, then call several news organizations, then call the gub'mint.

a reply to: makemap


Is she hot?

1.) Take pictures.

2.) Make a thread on ATS called 100% PROOF ALIENS EXIST

3.) Go down in history for disclosing the truth.

4.) Write a book and go around the globe "telling my story."

5.) Profit

6.) Share profit with alien.

7.) Help build a spaceship

8.) Take the money and leave the planet

9.) Exchange human currency for space bucks

10.) Go bankrupt buying space hookers

I would offer it a drivers license, free health care, tax free work, subsidized housing, food stamps, and.... Oh wait.. Wrong alien... My bad.

If an alien comes into my home I would say the following...
1.Leave my cats alone!*
2.Stay out of my fridge.
3.Don't even think of coming into my room.
4.You are not getting me into that UFO.


* The alien Alf liked to eat cats.

I would marinade it in Soyvay/ OJ and fire up the barbeque