Every time I tell the truth I get a negative response.

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: JoshuaCox
Dude, for some reason you must think that this was my thread. Nope, I was just letting you know how I knew what the thread was about.

Fair enough, my bad.

originally posted by: blkcwbyhat
a reply to: geezlouise

you must be married! Seriously,never tell a woman the truth,always lie to your boss,blame the guy under you.Honesty IS the best policy,if your in a position to never get fired.If your the low man on the totem pole,CYA!!

Sad but true...

I had all this stuff written out and I still do but I feel like a big loser so I'm sorry I made this OP guys but thank you to everyone who was kind and dared to believe me for even a moment... and to everyone who refuses to even give me the benefit of the doubt, I hate you so very much.

I don't love you all,
Lou.

originally posted by: geezlouise
I had all this stuff written out and I still do but I feel like a big loser so I'm sorry I made this OP guys but thank you to everyone who was kind and dared to believe me for even a moment... and to everyone who refuses to even give me the benefit of the doubt, I hate you so very much.

I don't love you all,
Lou.

I went through this whole thread again and tried to find where anyone didn't believe you. I couldn't?

But in any case, I guess this thread is illustrative of the problems we've discussed in the past on the whole "I love you" to strangers thing, and why some people find it uncomfortable! Because every extreme calls for it's opposite.

That extreme emotion sort of seems like a trap - love you today, but if I don't like something you do tomorrow, my hatred shall fall upon you! Moderation is awesome.

a reply to: geezlouise

The sad thing is many wont empathize with you simply because they cant unless theyve been through it, however if they care about the issue then they can have compassion to try or attempt to understand. Yet others are simply going to judge you like its your fault or simply that youre damaged. When if you make it through such things but reclaiming your power by reclaiming your body and mind and become confident in who you are, people are still going to be people and judge you no matter high or low you feel.

Making others opinions or feelings more important than ones own, is a comprimise of will one of submission allowing them some dominance even if its something as simply as hey where would you like to eat any specific flavor craving? As innocent as that may sound some will see it as some dominace power play, do it enough in a submissive role and you allow them to dominate, or vice versa. So we basically treat people how we want them to treat us... and well the things we share with them of course are the very things they will judge you by.

Of course there is a healthier way just called acceptance, like even if you have a douche friend they likely still have some redeeming qualities that makes them a friend. If not then why keep such a person around or allow them into your life or realm? The interesting thing, is that kind of friendship is not typical to closer interpersonal relationships like partners of some sort, from business to sexual to marriage etc. people have deal breakers and obviously laying all that with as you say honesty out on the table and hopfully they respect you enough to do the same then you know where your intentions and theirs lay.

A lot of people like to assume even if they dont know you... in snap judgements instead of taking the time to know you as a whole being, and people also come to expect things by the way weve taught them to treat us or the way society has from previous interactions of someone similar as that snap judgement assumption.

But addressing more as to what you are saying, about being honest and people judging you for what has occured... there is obviously nothing wrong with saying this is what occured to me and this is what ive learned and this does not define me as I am stronger than this. The nice thing about being honest is it takes the abusers power away each and every single time, the more that know? The less places they have to hide. The less people they can victimize or put through the similar hell in trying to cope that youve had.

Been through nearly similar crap myself abused mentally, physically, and sexually... so I can not only know, I can have compassion, understanding, and empathy. Its rough, and im glad to hear that youre not using drugs as a coping mechanism to feel better as oh so many do, as thats a trap because so many abusers see that as an opportunity for just more abuse... its a cycle of sickness... and yup it is very much hidden underneath day to day society. So speaking up and speaking out raises awareness and can help prevent such abuses, by people hearing your story keeping a closer eye on their children around people they dont know well, or guarding themselves just a bit more so people that are preditory dont see it as a weakness and fiegn like they care only in an attempt to prey on you as well.

All of that is a sickness to society that needs healing and advocacy and raising awareness is a part of that. Of course people want to also blame drugs when thats not the cause, thats the coping although the sick will use drugs to make it a cause to make someone have to cope from abuse in self medicating.

When someone is healthy and in balance they can moderate and use them in a celebration of life without issue, ive seen this in many well adjusted people countless times that arent using them to cope... of course some are addictive to the body itself and not just as a way to cope psychological dependence.

Theres a really huge difference in the two modes of celebration and self medication... if it to escape pain and suffering to cope its a self medication and someone should really try to heal those wounds by finding better coping skills, nothing to cope with and life is good thats obviously not going to lead to dependence as the person is already happy unless the body of course starts craving it. I personally dont care for such drugs myself... not even when prescribed painkillers when injured I try to avoid them and cope with the pain until I cant. Leaves me not needing them all by the time whatever has healed.

Of course cannabis not addictive physically at all Ive no issues with that and dont care for alcohol for getting drunk or buzzed, though I enjoy a glass of wine or drink from time to time.

So things can be moderated and not used to cover things up in coping... that can put people into being abused. Ive had crap dropped in my drinks and wholly not ever have appreciated that, thats an assualt on its own. I dont care to go out on busy nights as since im usually sober, its easy to see predator after predator looking for that woman just a bit too tipsy or drunk and it absolutely sickens me to see it so I avoid the entire scene of it.

But yeah raising awareness and being honest about it is an important thing. You reclaim your power, you regain your strength each time you point it out on the way to being whole and secure and self confident. Many hide it dont raise awareness of it and thats almost a free pass as its PT Barnum to them as a sucker or person ignorant to it becomes the new victims of it.

So more power to you, stand strong because you are. Those sorts that are abusers they arent strong, they are weak and insecure they cant even function normally so they have to operate abnormally. So youve already won the fight... every time you shine a light on it? You win it for someone else that says whoa that could be me or someone I care about. Ive had exs that have gone through so much abuse, not just from the abuser but from their families as well, disowning them blaming them for what happened, when if it was concentual it wouldnt been abuse now would it? Non issue then right? Other than perhaps regret if they were just trying to use you for some reason.

But eh, I hope this has helped... you didnt seem to have much expectations of any empathy because youve seen how cold and cruel people can be, well youve got a friend... those that know what youve been through having gone through it or similar I am sure would be happy to embrace you as a friend just the same. Theres nothing wrong with you. Those abusing have an issue those continuing cycles after being abused have an issue, those not seeking help to stop abusing have an issue. The victims of them are just trying to maintain, but once one gets their power and self confidence, they know their purpose, and it becomes their very armour against such atrocities... and will defend others as they would themselves.

Dont let anyone put you nor anyone else as an innocence in a virtual living hell. The balance I speak of typically comes after sorting it all out and being whole, to were no extreme can hide in balance and harmony within oneself... thats knowing ones purpose and reason for being, thats self actualization, and theres absolutely nothing that can shake that strength once known. I encourage people to reach for their dreams and aspirations the things that fulfill them that make them happy, of course in things that dont harm or hurt others in some sort of abuse.

Maybe me yammering on about my experience of emerging from all of that helped take your mind off your own for a bit or theres something you can relate to, and as you continue to heal and grow in your strength some more of it will make a little more sense... if not it is what it is and I hope it at least helps others in some way if not.

But you arent alone and thanks for being strong and casting that light...

originally posted by: BelowLowAnnouncement
Putting the paying part aside for a moment; If I saw an adult tickling a child on their lap it wouldn't have even crossed my mind that the person could be a pervert getting kicks. Shows how devious these people can get, to twist such an innocent thing into a disgustingly subtle perverted act. #ing gross old prick. Thanks for sharing.

There is a difference, and even as a nine year old I knew there was a difference, I just didn't know that sexually that was got him off. I didn't like him, I didn't want to sit on his knee, but I had to, would be told to, grabbed and planted. Made to feel ridiculous if I didn't comply. That is how grooming works. If you know what to look for, the signs are obvious. I used to visit with my Nan (Grandmother) with my brother, we stayed there during the holidays. When i hit nine, my Uncle Frank suddenly decided that we had to visit seperately. Then I was told, by my Nan, that I shouldn't lock the door when I take a bath in case "Uncle" Frank needed to get in. There are always others willfully and ignorantly complicit, facilitating.

He died soon after all that started, I don't know whether it could be considered a beginning of something, or whether that was as far as his "thing" went. I don't lose sleep over him one way or another. The by-standers on the other hand, pretending because they are scared of the fuss, or however they justify not seeing what is right in front of their face, especially the women, that troubles me greatly.

My Mum's best friend, it came out about four years ago, that two of her kids had been "molested" by family members. The boy by his paternal grandfather, a girl by her maternal uncle. With these revelations, others are spurred forward. My Mum's friend had been abused by her father, as had her brother and sisters. The father, of the kids has just been sent down for abuse of children in a care home he worked in as a social worker. Generation of silence, dismissal and punishment for speaking out. All it takes is one to be heard and acknowledged, and the skeletons pour out of the closet and as the OP points out, they're all set free...and can hopefully finally find some repair. Everyone gets in a tizz about stranger danger, but as with murder, the perpetrator is generally a trusted friend or family member who is taking power from getting away with it right under your nose.

a reply to: Anaana

Oh Ive seen tat many times... the enablers of sorts, where they dont even want to comprehend such as even existing that just to mention the topic or see it they either get aggitated, pretend such tings are fiction, becuase the reality of it is just too much to bare.

When women do it I think its in a cognitive disconnect if theyve been through it and try to bury that pain by disbelief and would rather stay in that dream world of make believe than face it and heal... because life goes on and if they had to be strong or everything falls apart then to them they may think how would anything better if they can escape to some state of disbelief and keep some semblence of stability.

Of course if its bad these days... in the 70s women and children still basically had zero rights... no support for women or children except other family members and no women really in professional careers so it was all male police or all male doctors, male judges, etc. and that sweeping a womans place is in the home and if she had a child out of wedlock that was a heavy brow beating or disownment if she didnt get married or if she didnt stay with a monster because of the children... so seeing how women despite all the male bravado are really strong and enduring having put up with so much for so long being shadow or second fiddle... even James Brown sang its a mans world... that was the truth in those days.

Te evolution has been into equality and for good reason, as that old way people whine about losing trapped and stuck so many women and children in horrible situations they couldnt escape from and since women didnt really work unless it was a "woman" job where could she get sympathy when such trouble occured? Cops would be like haha give er one for me ehh? Judge like whats wrong with you wanting to break up family? Doctor like is your uterus out of alignment with your horoscope haw haw, while the women that did work were constantly sexually harassed... but oh no that sexual over tone or slap on the butt was meant as job well done... or if you want a tip or a raise it was seen as some sexual enuendo i got your raise or tip right here... and nothing would be done.

Its rare I make male friends I dont like the guy talk that always occurs whether you know them or not, like some secret wink... Ive had church deacons say some vile crap about women to me, and I was like what? Seems everytime the coast is clear time to talk crap about women and I hate it.

Sure some women have some of the same behaviors, sure some women will dish out some payback deserve it or not, because the majority of men treat them like toys and oh another one is right around the corner... she nuts, shes menstral, shes crazy, and boy what I wouldnt do it her. What you meant like have a conversation with her about something besides food sex or sports?

Um sorry for the rant but this has been my actual experience as a man and one that thinks they are absolute pigs for the most part ive ever experienced being around them. seeing how the thread is about truth... thats the truth. A damn shame but not my shame.

a reply to: BigBrotherDarkness

I love you more and more.

Once, when I was very little in elementary school, I was playing with my friend Heidi and this little boy who had a thing about me came over and started to choke me. Heidi watched in horror. It was only when I started to go limp and play dead that the little boy let me go... and as soon as he had, I made a run for the closest recess aid and told her about the incident.

The recess aid said I must be lying, but I said I had a witness! My friend, Heidi! She saw it all! So the recess aid came over and I urged Heidi to tell her about the incident, but the little boy had gotten behind the recess aid and was making death threats at her... so Heidi told the recess aid that I made it all up.

I was then punished for it and made to stand against the brick wall of the school for the rest of recess, along with the other bad kids. I cried a lot and the recess aid that watched the wall, a man, snickered about how everyone in prison claims innocence. I didn't know what that meant at the time and I screamed for the meaning, but he just told me to shut up.

This wasn't the first time that I learned how unbelievable I must be. But as I stood there on that day... I felt something growing strong inside of me. An anger, of course, but it was based in the knowledge of the truth. I knew that I was right, that I had not lied, that I was honest... and it was everyone else who was ignorant. I would not lose sight of that, I would not cave to the majority of people surrounding me living in total darkness and ignorance... and I never did.

I don't know what my purpose is yet and I told someone elsewhere that I was really angry when I wrote this OP and I posted it in an attempt to punish the world for hurting me... but it didn't work out, lol. It never really does. Maybe I'm just an emotional exhibitionist, lol. I just watched "Welcome to Me" after I wrote this thread because someone told me to and I loved it because I feel like her. But now I feel like an after school special or something, lol.

Anyway, I know everything you have said is right, about spreading awareness and drugs being used as the coping mechanism and people not understanding anything and I know in the end that I'm a believer in the things that people say, because I know how unbelievable I myself have apparently been. I will never consciously hurt another in similar unbelievable positions. In fact, many have called me naive due to my believing in people immediately, which is odd, considering how deeply paranoid I am, lol. But, I will let my mind be changed about people and make judgements and be hateful towards attitudes that personally hurt me, so it's not like I'm being totally vulnerable, and I see it as merely just standing up for myself whenever I have to.

Thank you for being you, I believe that you do understand where I am coming from. Much love.

originally posted by: geezlouise
Every time I tell the truth I get a negative response.

I'll just ignore the rant and respond thus;
Many people conflate being 'honest' with 'telling the truth'!
Depending on the character, some will bludgeon you with their 'honesty/truth'!
That is their bi-polar insane intent.

Some exhibit the unconditional Honesty that is a Virtue of unconditional Love (along with the other Virtues);

True, unconditional Love is ALWAYS recognized by It's unconditional Virtues; Compassion, Empathy, Sympathy, Gratitude, Humility, Charity ('Charity' is never taking more than your share of anything, ever!), Honesty, Happiness, Faith...
ALWAYS!

(Never bludgeoning!)

The 'world' is your mirror!

"We do not see the world as it is, we see it as we are!"

a reply to: namelesss

Then color me negative and cross out unconditional while you're at it, too.

Cause just like my body has conditions (it must remain within a specific temperature in order to function properly, it must be fed the correct nutrients in order to function properly, it must rest a certain amount of hours usually during the night in order to function properly, and so on and so forth), my heart and mind also have conditions.

And if you love your body, you will hate the poison that enters it. Cause there's conditions that you must consider carefully whenever you hope to keep something in an acceptable state. You will hate destructive forces and do all you can to protect the thing you love, you will take care of the thing you love... like giving your vehicle the proper oil changes it needs so the engine runs smoothly. And washing your car, etc. True love is conditional. And unconditional love just may be for perverts who want to love children, animals and trees. May be. Just something to consider.

originally posted by: BigBrotherDarkness
a reply to: Anaana

Oh Ive seen tat many times... the enablers of sorts, where they dont even want to comprehend such as even existing that just to mention the topic or see it they either get aggitated, pretend such tings are fiction, becuase the reality of it is just too much to bare.

When women do it I think its in a cognitive disconnect if theyve been through it and try to bury that pain by disbelief and would rather stay in that dream world of make believe than face it and heal... because life goes on and if they had to be strong or everything falls apart then to them they may think how would anything better if they can escape to some state of disbelief and keep some semblence of stability.

Of course if its bad these days... in the 70s women and children still basically had zero rights... no support for women or children except other family members and no women really in professional careers so it was all male police or all male doctors, male judges, etc. and that sweeping a womans place is in the home and if she had a child out of wedlock that was a heavy brow beating or disownment if she didnt get married or if she didnt stay with a monster because of the children... so seeing how women despite all the male bravado are really strong and enduring having put up with so much for so long being shadow or second fiddle... even James Brown sang its a mans world... that was the truth in those days.

You know it is very easy to lose sight of this, how far we have come. My Mum had a child when she was seventeen. She was told if she loved him, she would, so she did. The classic Fairy tale union. He never knew that a child was the consequence. For as long as she could she kept the secret, from everyone. She took hot baths and drank gin to no avail. A girl from school had the year before nearly died after taking a crochet hook to her "problem", she didn't want to die. My Mum terrified, in the end, unable to hide it any longer, broke down and told her Mum. She was, of course, told she was a disgrace to her family. She wasn't hugged, her tears were not wiped away. She was swiftly packed up and off to a relative distant enough that the neighbours wouldn't find out. When her time was close she was sent to an Anglican Mother and Baby home to be delivered of her baby while being told how sinful she and that baby were. My Nan arranged an adoption and she never saw or heard from Sarah again. You don't ever get over something like that. Just never.

Years later when my Nan had to go into a home and I was clearing out her bungalow, she had advanced Alzhiemers (spell?) at this point, I found photos of Sarah, and letters from her adoptive family. My Nan had never shown them to my Mum. That she kept them perhaps shows that she cared about her lost grand-daughter, that she didn't give them to my Mother, perhaps that she was protecting her. Didn't matter either way, my Nan's brain was mush, too late to start talking about it. My Mum can never heal because it was never, not ever, permitted to be discussed. And even as an adult my Mum felt forbidden, physically withheld, from breaking that taboo, by the time that spell was broken it was too late to get the closure she needs. It just all hangs there, twisting her up inside.

Learning about the implications of epigenetic memory has been quite liberating, personally speaking. I carry a lot of female baggage that I have no direct experience of. I have found some explanation for that there. If you study Western history you can see the wider implications of some of the responses that might be hardwired into our individual systems. How many children did we lose before one made it to adulthood? How many rapes? How many husbands did we see killed before we and our children were sold into slavery? Compliance to authority, however unjust, must be hardwired into our survival mechanisms at some level. But, we have come very far, women are now able to support themselves, choose their own careers, own property and manage their own finances, all things my Nan could not do until Widowhood. My Mum had a few more choices, but none of the skills needed to make those choices. She didn't even know about sex, when she had her first period she thought she was bleeding to death. I can't imagine that level of ignorance, or having that level of shame.

originally posted by: BigBrotherDarkness
Te evolution has been into equality and for good reason, as that old way people whine about losing trapped and stuck so many women and children in horrible situations they couldnt escape from and since women didnt really work unless it was a "woman" job where could she get sympathy when such trouble occured? Cops would be like haha give er one for me ehh? Judge like whats wrong with you wanting to break up family? Doctor like is your uterus out of alignment with your horoscope haw haw, while the women that did work were constantly sexually harassed... but oh no that sexual over tone or slap on the butt was meant as job well done... or if you want a tip or a raise it was seen as some sexual enuendo i got your raise or tip right here... and nothing would be done.


Its rare I make male friends I dont like the guy talk that always occurs whether you know them or not, like some secret wink... Ive had church deacons say some vile crap about women to me, and I was like what? Seems everytime the coast is clear time to talk crap about women and I hate it.

Sure some women have some of the same behaviors, sure some women will dish out some payback deserve it or not, because the majority of men treat them like toys and oh another one is right around the corner... she nuts, shes menstral, shes crazy, and boy what I wouldnt do it her. What you meant like have a conversation with her about something besides food sex or sports?

Um sorry for the rant but this has been my actual experience as a man and one that thinks they are absolute pigs for the most part ive ever experienced being around them. seeing how the thread is about truth... thats the truth. A damn shame but not my shame.

We have come far, but we still have a long way to go before it is back to how it should be. Women profit from their own objectification now, they're "empowered" with choice and that is the choice that some still choose to make. It doesn't help, but it is their choice, that choice though has the consequence of sex continuing to be a commodity which generates inter-gender rivalry based solely upon appearance across the board. The locker-room mentality facilitates that. All that hazing, rugby songs and circle-jerking is aimed at degrading morality down to fraternalism. They're the back bone supporting the sex industry. They're gate-keepers even if they don't know it, and their wives and mother's facilitate them by indulgent smiles because they're categorised as "angels" and therefore gain satisfaction from being "better" than those "other" women.

But, that's just the middle-classes for you. Team sports and professional careers. I find that outside of those spheres you find a much better class of men and women.

originally posted by: geezlouise
I had all this stuff written out and I still do but I feel like a big loser so I'm sorry I made this OP guys but thank you to everyone who was kind and dared to believe me for even a moment... and to everyone who refuses to even give me the benefit of the doubt, I hate you so very much.

I don't love you all,
Lou.

You don't see clearly it seems. How can you come to a forum like this and expect normal people to listen to you? This forum is plagued with perverts all over the place. Some were probably fapping at the OP.

I am surprised that the OP wasn't deleted and you were banned. It seems you are to ignorant to understand all of this.

I do believe you though. Hopefully you will give this some thought.