Every time I tell the truth I get a negative response.

a reply to: geezlouise Hi Geezlouise I wish I could somehow take away some of the inner turmoil you are experiencing. It does help to get it out and talk about it, but as someone who has found a really good counselor in the past, I do recommend finding the right one for yourself. Shop around for a counselor, if they in any way shoot you down or twist your truth... then they are no good.
You need someone you can be open and frank with, feel safe and comfortable doing so and someone that can help you to clearly help organize your thoughts and emotions so that you can deal with them and hopefully move on into being able to find real friends and people that listen to you speak your truth with open minds and open hearts.
It may take time to find one, but there are good counselors and good people out there.
Take good care and pm me anytime.

First off, icky that that happened to you or anyone, and I am very sorry for your encounters with filth.

Secondly, however much I love chasing 'truth' and hate to say it, Truth really is ...er, less definitive and way more relative than most would admit.

In cases like these, though, I have to agree that the Truth about such perpetrators is as close to concrete as it gets ... meaning they are repulsive. And all you say has some Truth, especially about people shying from uncomfortable ones and shooting messengers.. .totally.

BUT absolutes make people crazy, and burning rage makes the target of that emotion more powerful... I would advise a level of distance and forgiveness ... before savaging them and erasing them from the world.

a reply to: ignorant_ape

Probably a validation of my feelings would be enough for me, personally. But I don't know what it will take to feel validated, really- I'm still working on that.

As for a more worldly solution? Why, the arm in the sleeping bag of course. Or in other words, after one has stopped denying the truth and received it... then a change of behavior and a change of environment will naturally be sought out next. In this case I think it will lean towards implementing the all seeing eye and faster consequences for our actions. Aka, more of god in our present lives instead of god residing only in our afterlives.

And I can go on and on about that but that's all really just a fantasy of mine. But lets face it... you'd think twice before committing a crime if you thought you were being watched and likely to get caught, wouldn't you? Maybe it would even stop you from committing the crime- but I do understand it wouldn't stop you from trying to find a hiding place/loop hole. Still, it'd make it harder, wouldn't you say?

I really wasn't kidding when I said I was a fan of the all seeing eye in this sense. As long as it's not the evil eye of sauron, it's all good with me.

As for my immediate personal situation... just validation would be nice. Ty for trying.

a reply to: geezlouise

Geezlouise, "You are a terribly real person in a terribly fake world. That is why i believe you are in so much pain"-Author unkown.


Hi there, I just wanted to stop by and tell you that you are loved and there is still good people out there. Obviously I don't know your situation, but I can relate to the frustration behind your words.

Remember, The Darkness wants you to feel alone. On the other hand, it's totally ok and healthy to let your feelings out.

I hope that made some sort of sense. Much love to you and big internet hugs geezlouise.

Can I just say sorry, and don't approach a person that has done somthing that bad.

Although deserved, their life would be over. The stigma attchd to it? Some people will kill you for that reason alone. They won't be safe in prison.
-for survival, as they see it.

I would try and cope, or go all in, but have backup, or at least pm me, I know jiu-jitsu

a reply to: geezlouise

I remember your introduction thread. You broke some of this down in that thread. I hope you continue to have faith in the truth and those that perpetuated this are dealt with accordingly. Many blessings and best wishes keeping that faith.

a reply to: geezlouise

Lou,

after reading this post went back and looked at you older posts. Not sure why I did that, probably because your writing style is very captivating

Here's my 2 cents and a random complement from a stranger:

You are very talented artistically. Your writing and your paintings are very impressive. To me, your art shares a portion of your pain but more importantly, your art expresses that you are way stronger then you give yourself credit for.

Just so you know, some random guy in ATS thinks your hella strong.

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: JoshuaCox

Child pornography...and child preditors......It's right there in the middle paragraph as plain as day.

In what way does the world allow it? It is illegal everywhere

a reply to: JoshuaCox

People know and don't say anything.

Look at the whole PSU scandal, it started in the 1970's and continued into this century
Or
one parent knows that the other does something wrong, yet they say nothing
Or
How many teachers do you think are child preditors? If one is attracted to kids, isn't that the job you want? Kind of like straight guys wanted to be a playboy photographer(before they stopped posing girls naked). Yet how many teachers think or know something and do not tell

a reply to: JoshuaCox

You're clearly being blatantly ignorant and if you continue to be so, I'm going to continue to judge you out in the open like this over and over again... deeming you blind and unworthy of further communication.

I have a friend who was victum of a child pornography. He told me that he agreed on it, and they paid him money, and he doesnt regret it at all.

Child pornography =/= child predatoring.

Child Pornography is illegal business . The ones who make it probably don't even like it, but they do it anyway for the # ton of money they earn. But its not traumatic.

P.S. Before anyone tries to lynch me, i am talking about the non sexual kind of child pornography. The rest is just rape.

a reply to: ZeroFurrbone

I hope the all seeing eye is on you, if not now then shortly in the future. Whew! What a thing to say @"But it's not traumatic at all."

originally posted by: geezlouise
It's to the point where I can't blame the perpetrators for what they do anymore. The world simply allows it. And by the world, I mean you specifically. Yes, YOU! It's all your fault. Everything everything, it's all your damned fault!

You're so ignorant you would sit there and tell me that you would've done everything differently, but I know you. I know you better than you know yourselves... and where I dare to breath the truth, you all deny it till you're blue in the face. But I know you would have done the same exact thing that I have done... only you would not have made it this far. You would've been destroyed beyond all recognition.

Yet here I am, almost as evil as the perpetrators all because I just say no to drugs. Here I am, just as invisible as they are. I'm the devil that you don't want to believe in. I'm the chunk of reality that you deny simply because I make you uncomfortable.

Well! I'm not finished here yet but you can continue to try to turn a blind eye to this. You can sweep me under the rug but I'll continue to cry out even as the mob appears and leaps forward to cover my mouth in a hurry. Cause there's always the point at which you arrive when you just... snap. And you realize you're gonna get hurt no matter what so why not get hurt over what you know is right.

Someone you know is a victim of child pornography.
Someone you know is a child predator.

They're just not talking about it.

That's right, rage against me for speaking the truth; only you would go so far as to call me the devil! And if you're going to hurt me, world, then go ahead and hurt me. Cause every time I tell the truth, at least I am set free. And I'm all that should matter really, only because no one else is going to care about me. But just in the case that you're curious and want to care, if you wish to shed even a smidgen of your ignorance... then telling the truth will set you free from a prison of lies. But first you must be able to discern the truth from the lie. And then you must learn that suffering in silence(which is the prison of lies) is not any better than suffering loudly(telling the truth will set you free)! And I dare you to consider how it might not benefit any of us much longer to continue to sit there and deny it.

No one's going to hurt you or anyone feeling or doing the same as you because too many who do the things you mention that they know isn't right are waiting to turn their life around for the better. And no one gives up repeating this message here in this OP because they know it's a duty. If 100 read what you say, and 98 of them cut you down or ignore you, 2 of them hear and change for the better. And those 2 turned around, because of something that you said which triggered a choice in them to be made on their own free will, to stop and really want to stop their harmful behavior just because your plea and pain struck the right cord in their heart. At that point it was all worth it.
We must show kindness and bear a gift when they make the change. They cannot be forgotten because that's what drives many to do wrong in the first place. Those who have a heart to quit their harmful actions should never be abandoned or forgotton.

a reply to: WhiteWingedMonolith

Someone did say I was Satan when I talked about the expression, "someone you know is a victim of child pornography."

That expression alone has a story of it's own, oh yes it does. So yes people will try to hurt you, they have tried to hurt me emotionally and psychologically. I have not been physically assaulted so that's good, and hopefully my family won't be assaulted either. But I have faced opposition in all manners of different slights, snarky comments, and even being given the cold shoulder in person. But you're right, if there's even just one other person out there who is feeling anything like I am... I think it's worth all that opposition and all the hurt. Cause it's a kind of validation I guess, that I am seeking.

Ty for contributing and ty others for being kind.

a reply to: geezlouise

I'm confused as to what kind of validation you're looking for.

World can be an ugly place. There's perpetrators and victims, always have been, always will be. There's nothing worse than adults taking advantage of innocent children, or any children for that matter.

I've never known a child pornographer or perpetrator, although I imagine that's the type of thing they'd keep to themselves, nor have I known an open victim, although I have had multiple friends who confided in being sexually abused by family growing up, brothers, uncles, father's friends, nasty stuff.

Seems the common theme I see in talking with them is to somehow cut the weight, cut the cord and don't let it hold you back throughout life as it can act as one helluva anchor. Not my place to begin to tell you how to do that as I frankly have no idea what it is you've been through and suffered.

Whenever I see your avatar, I automatically think 'Little love bug'. I have seen you so filled with love for others. I have seen your creative expression in how you portray your thoughts and feelings. Whatever you experienced in the past, never should have happened to you. You are a strong woman and should stand proud and I validate you as a person and worthy human being. Much love to you Lou!

originally posted by: geezlouise
The world simply allows it. And by the world, I mean you specifically. Yes, YOU! It's all your fault. Everything everything, it's all your damned fault!

Politely speaking, leave in a fornicating way.

If I knew of anyone abusing a child in ANY way like that, i would be on to my local law authority immediately.

What happened to you has nothing to do with me, so don't put that on me or anyone else here. That's your problem - don't make it my problem.

There is some philosophical meanderings that could be done on the issue of truth, and expressing it,
but as this has gotten closer to the specifics of the inspiration, it's hard not to address some very down to earth aspects.

I too, don't exactly see a sweeping generalization possible about society as accepting child pornography and predation.
It is illegal, many programs of various sorts are put in place to try to stop it. The cultural ethics and mores condemns it.

I think the problem you might be refering to is the one which arises from humans being so afraid of something that they have a defensive coping system that puts up a blinder if it gets too close- it happens elsewhere, but not HERE, not with people I LOVE, it remains a far evil and threat- like starvation, dying of diarrhea, being killed by a nine year old sniper, malaria, land mines.....

To imagine it as a close and imminent threat is so scary that even in the face of evidence, their minds will go into rationalization and explanation mode- "it looks like that, but it isn't really..."


In the United States, the land of extremes, on such issues, you get a huge split in peoples attitudes opposing each other.
There has been many cases of peoples lives being destroyed because of false accusations. People get rightly passionate about it, and the kids? They pick upon whatever you are focused passionately on and get on that train. They're eager to please, and thirsty for attention. It is easy to unknowingly plant false memories in a child without being aware that you led them subtly through each step of their creation/memory.

Since we've seen a lot of that, especially in the eighties, you had the backlash- the distrust of such stories.
(the pendalum swings back and forth between destructive extremes)

That said, consider carefully (maybe this thread can help you work it for yourself) what it is you want.
In very intimate circles, you often have the problem of the closest people refusing to believe. It is common that a mother will not believe her husband has molested her child. Or even if she does believe, she finds a twisted way of siding with him anyway and blaming her, or downplaying the event.

My sons last girlfriend, who was in most aspects PERFECT for him, we were so happy! She was beautiful, smart, kind, funny.... like my son, her mom was from California and she had exactly the same background as he.... most of all she and he got along well. Until she told him about her being molested for many many years by her stepfather. She had sexual loveletters written by him to her when she was very young, to prove it.
She couldn't live with it anymore. He supported her and they went to her mother to tell her. The mom ended up telling her she would not support her, she intended to stay with her husband, despite believing it. she just decided it was some sort of mistaken affair that happened once and is over - even if the "other woman" was her 8 year old child. "I'm sick of you two making such a big deal about sex!" she proclaimed and washed her hands of it.

The situation broke up the couple, because the girl struggled with what to do, my son wanted to help her and became obsessed with getting the parents to acknowledge a terrible evil had been done and ..... I don't know. I don't know what they wanted, exactly. But eventually the girl decided she could not have a separation with her mother, so in order to keep peace, she would never mention it again.

My son could not live with that. He sounded like you in the OP. She got tired of him being obsessed and furious. He's still screwed up.
Heck, I should introduce you two- he's just looking for someone to champion on this issue. He's still researching the stats wanting to be an activist.

I am rambling. This touched that personal situation.


My mom did a lot of family counseling in cases of sexual abuse. Something she said to me once is that a large proportion of accusations are actually false memories. But she also said- it doesn't matter.
I mean, in matters in a court of law, if trying to press charges- but for those trying to aid the victim, the memories being false or real is irrelevant because they have the same long term effects upon the psyche. You can develop PTSD from a false memory. So the treatment is the same either way, and the acknowledgement of the persons experiences and emotions associated is the first and most important step.

There is no way a society can make that crime disappear entirely. No matter what you put in place to stop it, some will slip through, and you'll even get the taboo effect- in which it actually grows larger in a covert way as a direct result of the effort to oppress.

But you can heal yourself, if you turn your attention towards you and your well being. Whether or not you love or hate others is irrelevant when you do that).

a reply to: geezlouise

Your truth might not be my truth. It's all subjective. All you can give is your opinion, which is far from the truth.

ETA: Sometimes you step into a pile of poop by not reading the thread. I will leave what I said up for history's sake and now will clean off my shoes. My apologies.