I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and recovering alcoholic

I'm new to ATS. I wrote a song when I was 18 that unknowingly predicted my mental disorder and my problem with alcohol. I called it Awaiting Impact... It's basically my conscience trying to convince my ego that it has a problem. It might help someone you know that is struggling with alcohol. Here's the link to the song and the lyrics. soundcloud.com...



'I've just been waiting here, outside in the cold. If memory serves me clear, you said that you would show.'

"Oh well, the past is over now. Let's move on with our lives."

'You know, the choices that you make have effect on other minds; when you're going through the days and you can't stay sober, thinking it's OK, and that it's not overrated; you're wasted. So, why don't you think it out and listen to me now?'

"Cause, I know there's something wrong."

'I know, there's something wrong...'

(Please, hear the feeling that I put in this song, cause it won't be playing long.)

'...and let's face it...'

"Face it?!"

'...you're wasted. I can't keep waiting here to be your hand to hold. Just embrace the fear and let it sink in slow.'

"Well, the past is over now. You can restart..."

'This time, just remember that make impacts on other minds when you're going through the nights acting like you can't take it, and don't see the signs screaming, [LIFE IS...'

"...WHAT YOU MAKE IT, DON'T WASTE IT...]"

'So, why don't you think the same, man?'

"Hear me when I say, why don't YOU think it out, and listen to ME now?"

'Cause, I know there's something wrong...'

(Please, hear the feeling that I put in this song, cause it won't be playing long.)

'...and let's face it...'

"Face it?!"

'...you're going through the day and you can't stay sober, thinking it's OK and that it's not overrated!'

"You're wasted when you're going through the night acting like you can't take it and don't see the signs screaming, [LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT...]"

'[...DON'T WASTE IT CAUSE YOU KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG!]'

(Please, hear the feeling that I put in this song, cause it won't be playing long.)

"Then, let's face it..."

'Face it!'

"...I'm wasted."

a reply to: kyfriedcaleb

Catchy tune.

Hi, I am a physicist, glad to meet you mate! How are things now? I hope you feel better.

Cool, a physicist. I'm sober now, but on antipsychotics, antidepressants and anti anxiety medication to help level me off haha. Just thought I'd share a little of my story.

Thanks for your concern too. Can you tell me what the flags mean?

The flags are indication of appreciation of the thread. If you like the thread you're reading, add a flag (just click once on it). If you don't like the thread, don't add a flag.

You cannot add a flag to your own threads though.

So, do you like science?

Double post, sorry

a reply to: kyfriedcaleb

Are you a friends of Bill?

a reply to: kyfriedcaleb

Welcome to ATS. Pretty good writing and song there! Im a 1st Emergency responder, recorded musician and published author as well.

ATS is a great place for your thoughts. You for sure will gain a lot of support and friendship here. We're all here for our own reasons! Yours is no different.

Would like to read/hear some more from you! Peace!Good to have your input here!!



Mysterioustranger

a reply to: swanne

Thank you and I'm wanting to go back to college for environmental science actually.

a reply to: mysterioustranger

I appreciate the support very much, I'd like to hear some of your music too.

a reply to: kyfriedcaleb

Environmental science is cool. The Earth needs more people who actually give a care about the environment.

Wow, that song was great!!!!

Hello and welcome

I too suffer from bad anxiety. It comes and goes. Lately it's been back pretty bad......u have my support. I know how much anxiety and depression can hurt. How scary it can be too.

Very intense lyrics, I really feel the pain and frustration you've put down. Welcome to ATS and I applaud you for sharing your feelings and being real about life. It is what you make it. If you are unfamiliar with the Rollins band, you should make your self very familiar with the Rollins Band. Henry Rollins is someone who I feel would really speak to you. His spirit and words have helped me through some really nasty stuff. Cheers

Very intense lyrics, I really feel the pain and frustration you've put down. Welcome to ATS and I applaud you for sharing your feelings and being real about life. It is what you make it. If you are unfamiliar with the Rollins band, you should make your self very familiar with the Rollins Band. Henry Rollins is someone who I feel would really speak to you. His spirit and words have helped me through some really nasty stuff. Cheers

Sorry double post

a reply to: kyfriedcaleb

Hi Caleb. I'm a songwriter-type as well. I like your song and the production. Keep doing it.

I was a big problem drinker starting around 14 and (thank God) coming to an end just before I hit 30. Dealt with lots of problems secondary to the drinking. What a roller coaster...I'm so happyy to have stepped off it.

I'm new around here too, so from one newb to another, cheers and keep all the good stuff happening! See you in the forums.

hi caleb, im a musiscian, lyricist, random drinker and schizo-effective although i believe its more of a form of aware technology trying to deceive me. Welcome to ATS. be careful posting about hearing voices if you do, some here just constantly tell you to seek help. I look at things with a scientific eye and refuse to be called mentally ill.

Yea, my schizophrenic story is definitely for another post and it's something I don't agree with either. I'll definitely check out the Rollins Band. I've got more songs but my financial situation won't allow me to record anymore for a while. Hopefully the stars will align again soon, the support from you all is inspiring.

Welcome! That was actually a pretty decent song. Even though it's not my kind of genre, I can still appreciate the songwriting and the composition of it all.