So, there I was... sitting on my behind, watching a particularly enthralling episode of Forensic Files
,and my phone starts ringing.
I answer the phone, and some dude with an Eastern European accent explained to me that he was from Dish Network, and I need to get a new Hopper in the
next 7-10 days, or we would lose our dish service.
I do not wanna miss my weekly Game of Thrones
Now, I may not be the sharpest Ginsu in the drawer... but I'm no butter knife, either.
I explained to the gentleman (I will call him that for now) that we get our Dish Network service bundled in with a local telecom company's phone
service. I asked if he minded if I called them to verify this, and he became angry, stating that the local telecom company that we go through does not
have this valuable tidbit of info, and we would be screwed for weeks without service if we didn't act.
Now, as an aside, I had a Cheech and Chong
moment. After hearing this load of crap, it reminded me of this bit that they did. I can't remember
the exact dialog, but I will do my best...
The pair spot what appears to be a dog turd on the side walk.
"Hey, man, is that $h.t?"
"Looks like $h.t... "
"Does it smell like $h.t?"
"I dunno, let me smell... sniff... yup, smells like $h.t"
"Does it taste like $h.t?"
...upon tasting said turd "Yup... better walk around it!"
I had this in my head, started laughing, and hung up on him. 5 minutes later, he called again. So, as a mild mannered sort of guy... I used my best
demonic growl... at the top of my lungs: "You fool! I am Gozar the Gozarian! Gozar the Destroyer!"
The line went abruptly silent. Not a Bill Murray fan, I guess...
I called our local telecom company; they confirmed that this was indeed a scammy scam scam. A scamizzle my fashizzle...
So, Dish customers be alert... and the world needs my lerts... and loofs.
If they call you, you now have a heads up
And, before you ask (and some will), yes, you may use my Gozar the Gozarian bit. (Which works GREAT on those Girl Scouts that sell cookies... and
elderly people in Walgreens... I digress)
edit on 11-5-2016 by madmac5150 because: Cant sleep, the clowns will eat me