9 small things you do that people use to judge your personality

Mike Nudelman and Shana Lebowitz

Mar. 23, 2016, 9:57 AM

"From the moment two people meet, they're sizing each other up.

Whether it's a date or a job interview, the small stuff matters — from the firmness of your handshake to your taste in music.

Below we've listed nine of the most common behaviors people use to judge you."
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www.businessinsider.com...
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2. Your punctuality.
Being on time is a sign that you're organized and proactive. Late people can be seen as procrastinators. [also as grandstanding attention seekers.]
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6. Your eye contact.
Psychologist Adrian Furnham, PhD says confident extroverts tend to look more often and for longer at their partners.
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9. Whether you bite your nails.
Research suggests that those who bite their nails, pull their hair, or pick their skin tend to be anxious perfectionists.
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I was a bit surprised at some of the items included in this short list. Yet, on reflection, I felt they were likely more accurate, than not.
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I'm a little skeptical about yellow lovers finding happiness easily but maybe that's what the research really shows. Guess I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. I just vaguely recall that Luscher had some different data on yellow. I just don't recall what it was.
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And, I'd not heard the one about how one asks questions indicating how much of a giver or taker one is. Interesting.

Anyway--it's a quick and short thing to read and may give some potentially useful insights.

Cheers.

a reply to: BO XIAN

The music thing is nonsense but the others have some merit.

a reply to: MagnaCarta2015

I don't know if the music thing is nonsense, or not.

I don't know how big a sample that study used nor how the sample was selected. Purportedly for whatever sample or population they studied, it held true. I can give them the benefit of the doubt on that score.

Music is certainly emotive. And emotions are processed differently by most folks. Yet, there are clusters of individuals around types of music that correlate in terms of personality variables. I just don't recall reading extensively in that area.

So, I don't have a background to compare this study against. I collected some info on that for my dissertation but I only analyzed about 4 variables out of more than 1,000 collected. LOL. And those 4 variables had nothing to do with music.

Their contention is plausible. I just don't know one way or the other.

Well, I own cats and a dog. I like lots of colors. My taste in music runs from classical to country and in between. I'm always punctual and don;t bite my nails. My constant eye contact unnerves people.

Conclusion: OCD schizophrenic.

And Business Insider stuff is clickbait.

a reply to: schuyler

Therefore you relegate it automatically to the nonsense universe?

Not my style. I consider stuff on its own merits regardless of the source or channel.

a reply to: BO XIAN

Maybe the studies on music are valid, I based my conclusion just from what I see in the gym and athletes I've met..not very scientific admittedly.

a reply to: schuyler

I've been accused of having piercing eye contact that routinely sees right through people. Many dozens of students felt that way. LOL.

Certainly counseling clients felt that way.

I could sometimes tone it down but it was a big part of just how I am in the world.

a reply to: BO XIAN

You had to tone down your eye contact overall? Or just how piercing it is?(is that even possible?). If people are complaining that your eye contact is too often &/or too piercing then it seems as if something is wrong with them. I mean it's not like you can force people to maintain eye contact with you.

a reply to: SmurfRider

I think it's 'worse' the more intensely interested I am in the other person and/or what the other person is saying.

I've learned to tone it down some. Not easy, at first. I try and notice when I'm that intense and pull back slightly from that intensity.

I may also look away a bit more often vs 'fix them' in my gaze so intensely.

I agree it's psychologically/emotionally their problem.

However, if I'm trying to build a closer connection and that's pushing them away--I try to adjust.

Yeah, it is pretty automatic. LOL.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

Always had issues with eye contact and if I did manage it, it usually ended with me rolling them.

Got a lot of flack for it over the years. Sorry I don't want to look at you or anyone else in the face for very long if it all.

Ah the joys of autism. And my limp wrist handshake. Don't want to touch people don't want to look at 'em. *chews fingernails*

a reply to: corvuscorrax

We all have to deal with our particular 'cross-eyed bears.'

Some things we can grow beyond, with effort. Some things we have to tolerate, make the best of and go on.

I've always been 6' 1" . . . now I'm 6' 1/4" LOL. Not going to change that the rest of my life--except maybe downwards. LOL.

Have never been very autistic. Some might have thought so in my early toddler super shy years. But, no.

So, I don't know from personal experience how challenging it may be to overcome the eye contact and touch things.

I do know that overcoming both can have a lot of social and relationship connectedness rewards for the efforts involved.

It may be comforting, familiar etc. to stay as one is on such scores. But it is also limiting in terms of relationship connectedness, closeness, emotional bonding. And those rewards can be enormously significant and wonderful.

Anyway--thanks for your meaningful comments. I'm sure many can identify with you.

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Oh, the "cross-eyed-bears" thing is a Christian joke. A euphemism for "the cross I bear."