This is going to be really personal. I'm probably going to regret it and feel embarrassed later. Anyway..
My mom has always been neurotic; we have always clashed. However, now, it has suddenly become mind-blowingly apparent.
She has been disabled for almost a decade now. She has always been a pretty straight person. She didn't smoke, drink, or anything worse. She's always
been a Christian. But now, ever since she was injured, she has become addicted to pain medication. I am aware that that happens when one has been on
them for a period of time.
During the first few years of this, she would share them with my older brother. Then, they started to come up missing. My brother blamed it on me and
I think that my mom probably believed him for a while. By the way, I don't do drugs. She knows now that I never took them. So, my brother had starting
stealing them which lasted for years. She eventually called the cops on him and he went to jail, rehab, etc. During this time they were still VERY
close still. He eventually got on disability because he's "disabled". He claims he's schizophrenic but he's also extremely lazy. So he has lived in
his own place for about 3 years now. My mom and him see each other usually daily. During this whole time, my brother often begs and cries for her
pills. He's done a lot of damage. Yet they are still BFFs and he can do no wrong.
He has graduated to (I don't know if I can say it on here so..I'll say the drug that is portrayed a lot in the show 'Breaking Bad'.) He has overdosed
and come very close to death several times.
My mom goes through her medication faster than she gets it. She goes through withdrawal regularly. This is in part from passing them out like candy to
my brother and his awesome head friends. She has increasingly starting being at his place and hanging with him and his friends.
This last withdrawal, she has said she is considering doing heavier, previously mentioned drugs. She said she hasn't but since this whole thing
started, she has become a definite liar.
She had a possible stroke a couple of months ago. Since then, she has seemed like her "normal" self up until recently.
I live with her. I have not always but I moved back here a few years ago. She has always thrown a pity party saying that she needs me and doesn't want
me to leave. So, my boyfriend and I wanted to live with each other. He just moved in here with me and he pays rent and helps out in a ton of ways. For
the first couple months she was so nice to us.
Last week I asked her to do something with all of my brother's crap that has been sitting in this house untouched. I am still working on cleaning his
old bedroom. It was unhumanly filthy. The entire floor was essentially his trash can. Anyway, the next day, she pounds on my door and lunges at me,
knocking me to the ground. She then proceeded to start punching me. I just lay there because it doesn't really hurt. I know that she wanted me to hit
her for some reason. I didn't though. My boyfriend pulled her off of me. She immediately asked him to help her up and he kind of looked at her like
she was nuts. In like two seconds she starts cussing him out and getting mad at him.
Later, she apologized to me. She apologized to my bf yesterday. Then, she started telling him that I'm a bad person and when he didn't trash talk me
back, she flipped out. She told us we have to get out NOW and blah blah blah. She then started hitting my boyfriend! She hit him in the head with a
pan! I am in utter shock at this insane behavior! She keeps fluctuating back and forth, though. My bf is now so stressed out that him and I are now
probably done. He's acting weird too and it's making me question, "Is it me?".
I just can't wrap my head around all of this. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
I can't just up and leave. I have several animals that I would never even consider getting rid of.
I just wish everyone would calm down but it doesn't seem to be something that is going to end. Has anyone experienced things like this? I don't know
what to do.
Also, her hypocrisy is infuriating. She often tells me that God is not happy with me and bad things will happen to me. Meanwhile, she lies, gossips,
and curses like a sailor as of late. Grr
edit on 30-4-2016 by paperdoll because: grammar