posted on May, 8 2016 @ 07:57 PM
Never was good at dealing with emotions, with the ends of relationships. I was going to write something nice, but the fact of the matter is if I did.
I'd be acting as if it were a loss and it was a loss and I cried. Then I felt fine, you know? I didn't care about it, but now time to time I feel the
pain of loss. It's been a little more than 8 months now I think, or was it 9. Hell I miss her. She was sweet and this is a perfect example of that.
But I hope now that I've put her away from me. Yeah, maybe I love her still. Wish I could pass out drunk right about now. Ran out of second chances,
she ran out of patience and love. All true. Tom Waits says what I thought back then with these words:
"There are things I've done I can't erase
I want to look in the mirror see another face
I said, "never", but I'm doing it again
I wanna walk away, start over again"
I wanted to be better, kept making the same damn mistake and when I finally learned how to be good I finally lost her. Maybe that's why I learned.
Love her, hate her. But I did it, got round to it.
Not sure why I bothered sharing. I know it's a petty thing to really get all worked up about. "So, you burned photos of her" they say, well. Yeah, I
guess that's all I did. Still have that box there. Maybe over the summer I'll make a fire, maybe go camping with my friend if I can convince him and
just toss it into the flames. It ain't anything at all. Hell, shouldn't even be sad. Love comes, love goes. I'm young. Yeah. I just ain't good with
all these feelings. Not like anybody cares. There are more important issues at hand. Just felt like sharing. Pass that bottle would you? I reckon I'll
need more than one, more than the usual.