4 Creative Ways 2 Make the Most of the Physical Touch Love Language

4 Creative Ways to Make the MOst of the Physical Touch Love Language (From a Girl Who Knows)

(("Emma Merkas is an Australian relationships and marriage writer and the co-founder of Melt: Massage for Couples, a beautiful online video series that teaches couples the secrets to an amazing massage. She has been married to her business partner Denis for five years, together for ten."))

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trueagape.net...

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My primary Love Language is Physical Touch. I’m married to an Acts of Service man. Understanding each other took awhile when we first got together, but 10 years on, we’ve found our groove when it comes to our Love Languages.
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I now know cooking him a three-course meal will make his heart soar. He knows that I love (nay, need) to cuddle up next to him on the couch while watching movies instead of sitting two chairs over.
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The Physical Touch Love Language can be a daunting one for non-native speakers of it. After all, it requires your absolute presence and attention to fulfil[l].
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But don’t despair. Here are four creative ways you can make your sweetie melt, if you know their primary language is Physical Touch. Try one today and see what happens.
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I don't think any of the 4 items are all that startlingly new. Some may have been simply not thought of or ignored--unfittingly.

Certainly 'spooning' in bed is a powerful and important one, imho.

I think I might add some suggestions to their 4 . . .

--Holding hands in public and private can be a good bonding kind of contact. Doesn't need to be forced . . . but as it falls together more or less naturally. If one has been raised in a 'non-touchy' family, one can learn to enjoy it and to naturally gravitate toward it. I love to see couples 80-90 years old holding hands in public.

--I like their idea of sitting next to one another in a booth at a restaurant. Maybe not all the time--but perhaps half to most of the time. Sometimes it's important to be able to look in their eyes across the table--without having to strain one's neck side by side.

--I like giving hand and foot massages. If one doesn't know how--there are lots of ways to learn. SOME Chinese methods do well at it. Maybe they all do but not every Chinese massage person in a mall will take the time--particularly unasked. People who work on their feet a lot really appreciate a good foot massage--if they aren't overly ticklish or shy about it. Similarly folks who use their hands a lot can really appreciate a good hand massage.

--It can be awkward and a strain depending on relative heights--but when comfortable, workable, natural--an arm around the shoulder is a wonderful way to bond and connect.

--A neck, shoulder and/or scalp massage can be a welcome connection and relief, as well. Take a lesson or 2 or merely experiment and find out what your partner most enjoys.

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I'm one of those affection-is-my-primary-love-language blokes. Which can be a . . . big loss when I'm home alone.

I hope parents--and particularly dads--are sensitive to children who have healthy affection as their primary love language. The child NEEDS such lavishly almost as most folks need air and water. Their development will likely be stunted or mangled without sufficient affection.

Anyway--FWIW.

I'd be interested in y'all's experiences and suggestions along these lines.

And, the book that started the 5 LOVE LANGUAGES movement is this one:

THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES: THE SECRET TO LOVE THAT LASTS

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1461733826&sr=1-1&keywords=5+love+languages

The 5 love languages are:

1. gifts
2. quality time
3. words of affirmation
4. acts of service
5. physical touch/healthy affection

We are a touchy-feely couple.

There is always physical contact of some kind in bed, even if it's only a bit of leg touching.

When eating, we don't sit side by side because we like talking to each other too much. Active lunch and dinner conversationalists!

But when out and about, there are usually the little touches - a slight brush of the hand on his back or mine. A pat or smack on the shoulder or rump (when no one is looking!). Even kisses or just leaning a head on a shoulder when not many are around.

On the couch, someone's foot is always in someone else's lap assuming we aren't outright cuddling.

There is hand-holding too.

And now that the kiddo is here, he gets in on this ... in kid-appropriate ways, of course.

It's just something we've always done without much thinking about it.

a reply to: ketsuko

Sounds like your boy growing up will be fairly free of Attachment Disorder!

CONGRATS TO THE MAX!

I wish you could train all the flash-in-the-pan hookups of children having children. Sigh.

But it's not just training . . . it's filling the bottomless-pit-aching-holes in their inner persons. It's helping them bond with quality surrogate parents and mentors to emotionally and psychologically re-parent them. It's helping them doggedly choose redemptive, loving, selfless, healthy affectionate choices to rewire their brains instead of going down the same dark, lonely, unaffectionate paths of their parents etc. etc. etc.

Thanks for your kind post.