Have You Ever Planned Something Really Carefully...?

Only for it to go completely pear-shaped?

I spent months hemming and hawing about whether or not to get a laptop. I've got working computers but I can't use them from my bed, where I've had to spend quite a bit of time. And I get bored

So, after all this wrangling I made a decision to order online a cheap refurbished laptop. Windows 7 and I can play DVDs and my favourite card games

But, laptops are heavy and I've damaged myself in the past from using them so I thought I'd get a small table to put it on. Not a cheap goes-on-the-bed-over-your-lap table but a cheap proper adjustable one that stands on the floor and goes across the bed.

Well, they arrived very quickly and I was ecstatically happy - for about five minutes.

Just before unpacking the table I realised that my bed has a middle leg along the side. Right where I want the bloody table to go. Not only that but I can't scoot the table up and down with a pox-ridden bed leg in the way.

Oh bollocks. And not just any old ones, either. The sort it would break the T & C to describe.

Ah well, be stoical and get on with it. The table is lightweight I'm sure I can move it easily enough. Yeah, lightweight alright. I find out from reading the instructions that it will take a maximum weight of 11lbs.

What?????

The first thing I noticed about the laptop was that it was sodding heavy. Rough guesstimate - oh, half a ton give or take a stone or two.

Bugger.

Ah well, let's give it a go. Perhaps I'm not very good at guessing weights.

Well, putting the table together nearly killed me, but I persevered and fixed it all up. Now to put it in position. Or as nearly in position as the bleedin' middle bed leg would allow me to.

OK. That'll do. All that remains is to put the laptop on and hope for the best. Oh wait... When the table was described as 'adjustable' they didn't mean the height. The wretched bloody thing can slant. You can have the top at several different angles... What? Who needs a poxy angled table top? Not bloody me.

Fine, I get it straight. I'll put the laptop on it. Well, nothing groaned. But there was a sort of resigned flumpf. Yep, the table top started to tilt - and not in the way the manufacturer intended.

Fear not. It's on a metal pole. It won't collapse. I'll just have to tilt my head to the right angle when I play my DVDs on it. And so I did. I would have enjoyed my DVD, too, except from the height the laptop was at I wasn't 'square' onto it. So that bolloxed the picture. Darker scenes looked like negatives. So I had to sit up uncomfortably to get a proper look.

Now here I am with a brand new, listing badly, table and me being mightily uncomfortable when I want to watch a DVD or play card games 'cos the sodding laptop is balanced on me

Now, I could have put this in the Rant Forum, but how much more fun to ask all of you if you've ever planned something carefully and (you thought) efficiently only for it to all go pear-shaped.

Please share your stories here but don't expect much sympathy. That's likely to be a bit thin on the ground. Pointing and laughing will be tolerated... nah ... encouraged

originally posted by: berenike
Have You Ever Planned Something Really Carefully...?
Only for it to go completely pear-shaped?

#mylifestory

a reply to: SgtHamsandwich

You can't come in here and get away with that.

Tell

a reply to: berenike

Aww...berenike...here, have a *hug*.

My laptop isn't heavy at all. I have one of those lap-cushions with a flat top so that I can have it on my lap.
Would that work for you?

To answer your question...yes.
Anything I plan always goes straight down the flusher. Nothing in particular comes to mind at the moment, but if I can remember one of my more epic fails...I will let you know!

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

And I will look forward to hearing about it

Doesn't it make all the suffering worthwhile when someone else can get a laugh out of it ?

er... yeah

a reply to: berenike

Great story! I can relate...every day.

I think the biggest "plan every nano second" experience was when my husband's boss and wife were coming for dinner.

I planned an elaborate meal and decided to "rehearse" the meal... thank God. I had planned h'orderves and Margaritas on the patio before dinner. Now, I don't drink and had never made these before. It tasted good but when I got up to see how the rest of the meal was going, I fell on the floor, fortunately laughing.

I picked myself up and made a note to self to either not make these or not have any, and then went to half walk, half stagger through the living room to the kitchen. I had to pass a small throw rug on the way, maybe 6 by 9 feet, and remembered that scene from Cleopatra back in the '60's where she rolled herself up in the carpet, and spontaneously decided that that sounded like fun, so I went for it....more notes to self...




(well, let's make it one...)

a reply to: ClownFish

You can't just leave it there!!

Did you roll yourself up in the rug? Did somebody find you like that?
(enquiring minds want to know, lol)

I'm trying to remember one of mine, to entertain berenike. I have no pride left anymore...when things go wrong I'm usually the first one laughing.

jacy

a reply to: jacygirl

Hi Jacy, I'm usually the first one laughing too...and the only...and the last.

Oh, yes, that's what "went for it" means...but this was the rehearsal. And yes, I can still hear the muffled sounds of my husband chuckling through the carpet.

The real event was down right boring. I think I'll stick to rehearsals.

CF

Berenike (sorry, don't know how to make it that pretty live green mid post, so I capitalized your name):

I'm thinking, get yourself a small cheap, since you gravitate to cheap, table and cut the legs down or unscrew them and get shorter ones and make yourself a bed table, like they have in the old movies....or not, so that you can continue your story once you get hot beverages and electrical cords involved.

"Planning"...measure twice, cut once.



Funny story though.

a reply to: ClownFish

Hot wires and beverages are already involved. It's only a matter of time...

I've got no option but to put my cup of tea on the shelf beside the bed and plug in the laptop from the socket just above that shelf.

It would be great if I only had a nice, table positioned beside the bed to put the tea on.

Oh, wait...

Oh bugger...

Everyday my friend... everyday.

I run a business, and I've learned that it's pointless to try and plan, because # goes sideways quick.

the majority of my art is done from a laptop sitting on a night stand next to my bed.

I can actually type about 40 wpm one handed. LOL

a reply to: berenike

Hey friend, I will plan to come over and take off the third leg very carefully!
I also have a mini laptop with Linux. I will send it to you if you want it.

a reply to: Quantum12

I think the third leg is sort of necessary to hold up the bed. Believe me, it crossed my mind to take a hacksaw to it.

And thank you for your kind offer. It's hard for me to justify getting any more computers, though. My living room looks like a call centre or NASA or something

a reply to: berenike

Just PM me your address and I will send it if you want it!

a reply to: Quantum12

That's so good of you, but I'm not doing too badly for now.

I managed to watch Star Wars with the laptop balanced on me and that's over 2 hours duration, so I can manage with the right incentive

a reply to: berenike

Sounds good friend. I am here for you!

It's a massive decision so no wonder ..

a reply to: realnewsrealfunny

I read your reply before you changed it.

I wonder if you're confusing me with someone else? I'm happily single although if there are bonuses flying about I might consider changing my status

a reply to: berenike

She always replies and then edits.